As the woman in the 3rd car behind me laid on her horn for a good minute, I smiled to myself, I was once that obnoxious driver.
I had a form of road rage–when drivers didn’t drive correctly, I let them know about it! Well, not really, I just yelled and screamed inside my car to myself.
The constant insults I hurled at all the other stupid drivers had to stop!
I never held up my fingers or yelled out the window, but inside my car, I could not recognize myself. I was not a pleasant person.
I remember feeling so bad about what had just come out of my mouth toward another driver that I thought, “what if my sweet, elderly client, Charlotte were witnessing my behavior right now–she would not recognize me!”
This had to stop, I felt possessed by a frustrating force!
“How can you be so stupid–don’t you know the left lane is for cars to pass not for you to go slow in.”
“You idiot, turning left on a double yellow line (while I laid on the horn for dramatic effect).”
It took me quite some time to get it all under control. Probably the biggest aid in my rage recovery was taking The Landmark Forum (http://www.landmarkworldwide.com).
The Landmark Forum is a weekend intensive transformational seminar that can unlock some of the patterns and behaviors that hold you back from being the truest, most joyful being that you can be!
I remember their definition of “being peaceful”–give up the story that there’s something wrong here.
At first glance, you think, “yeah right”…
One exercise was pretty simple–we shared with a partner one of our biggest frustrations. For me, it was behaving very badly as a driver. By continuing to tell the story over and over to your partner what it was that frustrated me while driving, after so many times it just sounded so silly.
I would tell these detailed stories about what he did that was stupid and how it affected me. Over and over and over…
It really is just a story.
Give up the story that there’s something wrong here! It may sound super simple, but that was a big breakthrough for me.
It was all just a story–the story I told myself about all the idiot drivers out there.
The more I gave up the story in my car, while driving, the less I noticed the stupid drivers in my vicinity. Even if there were stupid drivers, I began to let it go. It was simply the story I told myself.
We get to choose what story we tell ourselves about ANYTHING! I wanted to feel joy and ease for my entire day, not feel the fierce frustration that always occurred while driving.
Tonight (years later) as I was driving down a residential street that had cars parked on both sides of the street but there was still enough room for 2 cars to travel, the driver coming from the other direction laid on his horn as if I was taking up too much space.
He was angry. His face was all snarled up and he was miserable. This man was elderly and had a severe case of rage. I just smiled and felt free–free from the stress that he so clearly has carried every time he gets in his car.
That’s something I noticed years ago–how the older people were some of the angriest drivers I’d ever seen. I keep those images in my mind to remind me of what I don’t want to become!
Imagine if you could let go of that rage, let go of those judgments, let go of the blame and ridicule. Imagine how you would feel without all those emotions weighing you down!
Give up the story there’s something wrong here.
Reach for ways to feel better, and I promise you, you will attract more experiences that feel better.
Frustration is a force that is finding its way out of my body. Little by little, as I focus on what’s beautiful, the frustration falls away.
I actually get into my car and feel ease while driving. I enjoy my drive wherever it takes me because I’ve got a calm and loving force that lives inside me–a force that I’m in charge of. I get to choose how I feel and I choose peace!
2 thoughts on “A Frustrating Force”
Thanks Tara, this is a thought pattern I find myself experiencing too much lately. I remind myself daily to see beauty. Such a simple and powerful idea to focus on the beauty that life has to offer. I just got back from a visit to Mexico and I was taken by how beautiful the people are. I was raised by a culture to believe, Mexico, being a third world country, was a miserable place full of hopeless people. What I saw was a place where people live with dignity and spirit. I’m sure many visit this beautiful place and see something different. I was able to look beyond the idea that, “there is something wrong” with Mexico, and I saw beautiful, creative people, with kind hearts, living with integrity. I believe that true transformation comes from exploring the landscapes of our own beliefs.
I’m such a fortunate soul to have a beautiful sister, one who lifts the vibration of all who are lucky enough to gaze into her spirit.
so beautifully said, “I believe that true transformation comes from exploring the landscapes of our own beliefs”. Thank you for your insight–perfect!.