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Feeling Freedom

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I’m having a hard time finding words for all of the feeling–I caught a glimpse of it this last week.  

I felt safe and secure, deeply safe and secure, yet all the indicators in the physical world would not convince you of my security.IMG_0146

I live week to week.    I have no savings account and I am deeper in debt than I care to convey.

Now, knowing that, you’d think I walk around in fear and doubt and worry all the time.  You’d think I cut up my credit cards and cut myself off from everything I want.

Wrong!

I enjoy life and try to live with total ease and joy–regardless of my financial situation.  Life is more than money–life is energy!

More important than the status of my financial books is the FEELING of freedom.  Freedom comes from feeling not from having.  

The soul wants to experience life it isn’t interested in accomplishments!

Yes, while there are times I yearn for a “real” job that pulls in “real” money, for the most part I am happy to be living this life I’m living.  I enjoy freedom and yes, even multiple streams of income.  Just when I think there is no more money to pay the bills, I get another check from an unexpected job and it always seems to arrive at the opportune time.

At the depth of this feeling, is pure knowing that everything will always be okay.  It always is.  Everything always works out for me.IMG_0492

 

As Donya Ture’ writes in her book, Free Falling Into Your Higher Self, “The logic behind your free fall into a new belief system is because you realize that there is no wordily explanation for life and therefore the impossible, the mystical or even the magical must actually be possible.”

Now, I’m clear that some will say I’m just an idiot and that I should be planning for my retirement and I should be planning to get out of debt and I should be planning to be wealthy.   Planning, planning, planning!

I say, “screw your plans.”  Life is truly about living  NOW.  Having said that,  it is true, I am simply soothing myself and the situation I am in rather than focusing on what’s wrong with it.  I have nothing against planning for the future.  I am happy though.

All of the warnings I receive feels like a fear based way of being.  I don’t want to feed the fear.

I want to bask in the feelings of enoughness, fullness, all that is– wellness!

So, that’s what I will do.  It will be challenging because of the world I live in.  Every way I turn, there will be more INFORMATION to remind me how irresponsible I’m being.  My work, no, my JOY will be to transcend those thought forms, those limiting beliefs and just BE.  I AM WAKING UP from the reality that I have created in the past.  Glimpses of awakening are soooooooo sweet!

Life is so full.  It’s full of a vastness that, once experienced, is irresistible and intoxicating.  I want to spend more time there!IMG_1167

The sweetest twist of all of this are the experiences that show up.  The more I anchor myself in this knowing, the more opportunities arise–they already have!  This is a vibrational Universe, when you raise your vibration by looking for beauty, finding ways to appreciate and have gratitude for the wonders around you, those feelings will draw similar experiences to you.  And who knows, maybe in the form of money!  Money IS energy and it’s always circulating in my midst.

No, I don’t chase money any longer.  Instead I chase the present moment where everything thrives if we will allow it.

 

Money is NOT the source of happiness.  Freedom does not come from having money, BUT having money may just come from feeling FREEDOM!

GodCare

 

I BELIEVE.  I TRUST.  I LET GO. 

 

 

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A Frustrating Force

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As the woman in the 3rd car behind me laid on her horn for a good minute, I smiled to myself, I was once that obnoxious driver.photo-10

I had a form of road rage–when drivers didn’t drive correctly, I let them know about it!  Well, not really, I just yelled and screamed inside my car to myself.

The constant insults I hurled at all the other stupid drivers had to stop!

I never held up my fingers or yelled out the window, but inside my car, I could not recognize myself.  I was not a pleasant person.

I remember feeling so bad about what had just come out of my mouth toward another driver that I thought, “what if my sweet, elderly client, Charlotte were witnessing my behavior right now–she would not recognize me!”

This had to stop, I  felt possessed by a frustrating force!

“How can you be so stupid–don’t you know the left lane is for cars to pass not for you to go slow in.”

“You idiot, turning left on a double yellow line (while I laid on the horn for dramatic effect).”

It took me quite some time to get it all under control.  Probably the biggest aid in my rage recovery was taking The Landmark Forum (http://www.landmarkworldwide.com).

The Landmark Forum is a weekend intensive transformational seminar that can unlock some of the patterns and behaviors that hold you back from being the truest,  most joyful being that you can be!

I remember their definition of “being peaceful”–give up the story that there’s something wrong here.

At first glance, you think, “yeah right”…

One exercise was pretty simple–we shared with a partner one of our biggest frustrations.  For me, it was behaving very badly as a driver.  By continuing to tell the story over and over to your partner what it was that frustrated me while driving, after so many times it just sounded so silly.

I would tell these detailed stories about what he did that was stupid and how it affected me. Over and over and over…

It really is just a story.

Give up the story that there’s something wrong here!  It may sound super simple, but that was a big breakthrough for me.

It was all just a story–the story I told myself about all the idiot drivers out there.

The more I gave up the story in my car, while driving, the less I noticed the stupid drivers in my vicinity.  Even if there were stupid drivers, I began to let it go.  It was simply the story I told myself.

We get to choose what story we tell ourselves about ANYTHING!  I wanted to feel joy and ease for my entire day, not feel the fierce frustration that always occurred while driving.IMG_2369

Tonight (years later) as I was driving down a residential street that had cars parked on both sides of the street but there was still enough room for 2 cars to travel, the driver coming from the other direction laid on his horn as if I was taking up too much space.

He was angry.  His face was all snarled up and he was miserable.  This man was elderly and had a severe case of rage.   I just smiled and felt free–free from the stress that he so clearly has carried every time he gets in his car.

That’s something I noticed years ago–how the older people were some of the angriest drivers I’d ever seen.  I keep those images in my mind to remind me of what I don’t want to become!

Imagine if you could let go of that rage, let go of those judgments, let go of the blame and ridicule.  Imagine how you would feel  without all those emotions weighing you down!

Give up the story there’s something wrong here.

Reach for ways to feel better, and I promise you, you will attract more experiences that feel better.

Frustration is a force that is finding its way out of my body.  Little by little, as I focus on what’s beautiful, the frustration falls away.

I actually get into my car and feel ease while driving.  I enjoy my drive wherever it takes me because I’ve got a calm and loving force that lives inside me–a force that I’m in charge of.  I get to choose how I feel and I choose peace!