Making Days Count!

The first month of Quarantine proved to be frustrating–up and down and all around in emotions. I developed some bad habits and I don’t feel good.

I’m happy to report that the next round of 30 days is going to be far different!

Instead of watching the news on television, reading news on the internet and all my social media platforms, I will get my news once or twice per week and I won’t soak in it. I’ll get it and I’ll go back to my world that I can commune with.

Instead of piping in my opinions on posts, I’m not going to tune into much social media. With all the theories and concerns about how they are controlling us and going to force us to be vaccinated, I’ve had enough. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, for now, let’s go along with being safe and getting rid of this crazy pandemic that none of us has ever had to deal with.

I just know that for me, I’m a delicate energetic being. Participating in all those politically charged topics makes me feel bad. I’ve always despised the analyzing and the talking heads and all the different perspectives and guesses as to what’s really going on. It is not good for any of us. I just know that I can’t go on another 30 days doing what I did the first 30 days. I’ve learned!

Also, I do know how good it feels to meditate. I once had a consistent practice that made me feel so joyful and free.

My practice was stunted for a couple of not so pleasant reasons. Mostly though, I was doing a ton of pet sitting so I’d move in and out of houses and have different schedules depending on the animals. It threw me out of mine.

Now, with no consistent practice, I really feel that lack of it and I know what I need most at this time and I’m guessing everyone could use it too. I’m super motivated because I know what it does for me from the past.

I suppose if you’ve not experienced the benefits personally, it may not be as easy to commit to it. I’m here to tell you, meditation is magical. It’s magical without knowing what to expect because it shows up in ways you’d never anticipate. It is bliss.

I just want something to count for this time. What did I achieve? Other than avoiding the virus, I came out on the other side of it all with a clarity and an ease and a trust in knowing that all is well and everything is working out for the best. And, I will have created a meditation practice that I can take with me anywhere and be consistent in whatever schedule I’m on at at the time.

Tara’s Genie Bottle

I will go into my Genie Bottle now and pray and wish and hope and pray and wish and hope some more that the rest of the world slows down internally. Slow down enough to hear your inner spirit guiding you and soothing you back to a life you love.

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Life Doesn’t Have To Look A Certain Way!

Every mom I’ve ever known seems like a hero to me.

I am in awe of what you mom’s represent to me. I tell every mother who is expecting a child, “you are the most powerful force on the planet!”

To me, a mother is a superhero! It is flabbergasting to me what you do!

I knew from a young age, deep within my soul, I should never have kids.  Not sure why, it was just a VERY STRONG KNOWING.  The closest I’ve come to being a mom is the time I care for animals. That seems fulfilling for me!

As for my mom, she had 5 children with my father and she had the strength to leave him when I was a baby (I was the youngest).

He was a womanizer.  He needed a lot of attention from women. Year after year, she tried to get past one infidelity after another then, one day,  made the decision to stay gone from him for good.

Back in the early 60s, nobody got divorced. She put up her boundaries for respect. I love that about her. She was a pioneer in getting a divorce! There was such a sense of shame surrounding divorce.

Not my mom, she chose to feel good about herself again and take back her power.

I’ve always looked at her life and thought how out of the ordinary it was that she was never with another man again.  

My judgment was, “oh that’s so sad.” Women are still made to feel a sense of shame about being alone and not in a relationship, as if there’s something so unnatural and wrong about it.

She was 30 years old and never had another relationship.  I saw it as sad then but now I see it as more of a gift.  Being in relationship with ourselves is a powerful gift!

Most long time married people have never really felt it, the long bouts of alone time. It is wonderful. Most people who live alone are depicted as being sad and pathetic, all alone, how awful. That’s just not always the case!

There are millions of people who have happy and fulfilling lives without a partner. The judgment needs to be tempered and tamed.

One of my 83 year old clients has been widowed for 13 years. It took her a good 5 years to adjust to living and being alone. Now, though, she is clear that she would rather live alone than live with a man.

She has a new boyfriend who is newly widowed and he wants to sell his house and he wants them to live together. She doesn’t want to do it. She doesn’t want to go through that time of adjusting to another person in her space.

She loves her time alone.

I get it. I’m in the same boat.

I have become like my mother. It took 58 years for me but there is something so freeing and joyous about being alone with myself and loving it!

To all those who think it HAS TO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY, please back yourself off and make your own life better.   Stop pressuring people to be in a relationship when they are happy about not being in one.  

Not everyone has to look the same as everyone else!

So on this Mother’s Day, I sing praises to my mom for showing me that life doesn’t have to look a certain way. Most people’s lives look similar, that doesn’t mean that is the only way life should look!

Not everyone has to get back out in the world and hook up with another person to be happy. We can be happy living alone and on our own. Truly, we can!

My mom has created a family that goes on and on. She has Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren and that is JOY personified.. She is well-read and wise, always an ear of kindness and compassion to those in need emotionally. She is a beautifully designed woman full of qualities and traits that are rare in this world.

I am grateful for the example mom set for me, my life is very out of the ordinary.

Growing up, my friends would say, “your mom is cool.”

She will be 88 this November.  Oh, that’s interesting, she has lived 58 years on her own without a man and I am 58 years old now.  

Even if I live the next 30 years without a man in my life ever again,  I will know it is my choice and it is okay.  I am the source of my happiness and I am enough.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom and thank you for showing me who you are. Life doesn’t look the same for every person and that is a relief to me. Phew!

Gut Feelings!

The reason checking in with yourself is so important is because nothing is more important than that you FEEL good.

If you are working for or dealing with someone and you notice you feel unease and a little tangled up inside, get a magnifying glass on that!

That is emotional turmoil and a kind of stress that is just as unhealthy as any other form of stress.

We get to choose who we work for. We get to choose who we don’t. No amount of money is worth feeling icky for.

Recently, I’ve had a couple of big money making opportunities but the ICK factor inside me was screaming. Oh, I’ve learned a few years back, continuing to allow toxic people in my life will not turn out good!

Notice, get quiet, check in with how you are feeling. let those feelings guide you to a decision in who you allow into your life. Those feelings are emotional stress indicators and they are super strong guidance!

Get out of whatever toxic relationship you are in. The chaotic feelings a person can absorb is discombobulating! Sometimes it’s great being an empath, other times it is a curse. I feel the energy of others way too much.

Toxic relationships aren’t just romantic relationships, they’re everywhere! You get to choose who you allow into your life. If they don’t feel good, get out!

#feelings #emotion #natureheals #narcissisticabuse #relationshipgoals #moneyisnteverything #choosehealthy

#malibu

Powerful Health Information

I started a blog on another site attached to this Blog so I’m not sure if my few subscribers can see it? I will attach the link here. Read it. It’s good stuff and oh so powerful when it comes to natural health benefits that are simple to receive!

https://thewaybacktoyou.com/2021/02/05/barefoot-on-the-bluffs/

visit http://www.TheWayBackToYou.com

https://thewaybacktoyou.com/2021/02/05/barefoot-on-the-bluffs/

Empathy Is A Necessity!

I’m ashamed.  I have been someone who feels so deeply that when things feel really uncomfortable and unfair, I hide my head in my own little world and pretend that racist people don’t exist.  That’s not effective because the ignorance still circulates and when I poke my head back out, nothing has changed.  I cannot and will not be silent any longer!

There is so much promise in the air, it seems most of the Country is fighting to achieve equality, yet there are still those who don’t want to give up their privilege which is based solely on the color of their skin.

Do you believe Black Lives Matter or are you still one of the privileged white people who think there is no need for equality?  Do you believe the  big blow-hard political talking heads who are trying to convince you that this is a left wing political stunt?

If that’s you, I feel sorry for the people you come in contact with.  You are not superior because you have white skin and allowing these twisted thinkers into your consciousness will damage you, indeed.

If you still haven’t developed the skill of empathy which is the ability to feel what it feels like to go through the pain and injustice of discrimination, now’s the time to go inside and investigate your heart.  If you felt just a fraction of empathy while watching their hardships on a movie screen, you’d want to help their cause.

Of course all lives matter but Black Lives have been disrespected and treated with disdain as far back as time goes.   I’m proud to stand with my black brothers and sisters now. There is only one race and we are the human race.

I suggest educating yourself.  Watch the movies that are both informative and entertaining regarding the plight of Black Lives in this Country. When you watch, take on the character that is treated unfairly and disrespected.  Be them, feel what they are feeling.  Empathy.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=best+10+racial+injustic+movies

If you can watch and put yourself in their shoes then surely you must get on board and join the movement for justice and equality for all.

I’m glad I came out of my cave. My silence was killing me! It feels so much better to speak up, even if just in this small way, perhaps I will point someone in a different direction.

Watch the videos below, really fun and informative!

Today, I Am A Tree!

Today was all about trees.

I started my yoga practice amongst the trees, then I walked through the most beautiful neighborhood full of trees. I felt their amazing energy.

Trees are the quintessential observers of life.

We are very much like trees. We stand up tall, we have a crown at the top and we have limbs stemming from a central trunk. Trees help us to see and be aware of our connections with something larger than ourselves. I am happy to be a tree today. 

I Am A Tree Today

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Today was all about trees. I started my yoga practice amongst the trees, then I walked through the most beautiful neighborhood full of trees. I felt their amazing energy. Trees are the quintessential observers of life. We are very much like trees. We stand up tall, we have a crown at the top and we have limbs stemming from a central trunk. Trees help us to see and be aware of our connections with something larger than ourselves. I am happy to be a tree today. #tree #treeoflife #yogapractice #observe #connection #life

A post shared by NatureGirlTara (@healthandease) on May 5, 2020 at 2:49pm PDT

Outside Is Open!

I’m a lucky woman!

I live in Ventura county and we did not have as many cases and as many deaths as Los Angeles county and surrounding counties so the trails are open!

Wow, what a difference riding my bike on the trail makes! It was lovely out there today.

I saw a kick ass family as I stopped to snap a shot. The dad was riding his mountain bike in front of his 3 kids who were riding their bikes and mom was pulling up the rear. It was a beautiful sight to see! The whole family is FIT!

I told them they looked like a family of ducks! And then I said quickly, “that’s a good thing and a sweet thing.”

Anyway, I think it’s important to start enjoying ourselves in anyway we can. We need to lift our spirits and our vibrational frequency’s so that we recover from this crazy time in history.

I also decided to not watch the news as often as I have been this last month. For many years, most of my life, I haven’t watched the news–it leaves me feeling depressed and helpless.

I thought, though, in this case I should watch and stay informed. It became a habit though and I am keenly aware of when I develop habits. You know, when you just go into a program of something you do every day, that’s not good–that’s not healthy for our brains and our vibrational frequency.

So, find ways to feel joy and lift yourself up. Reach for the best feeling thoughts you can find.

Oh and TRUST, let us all trust that everything will work out for the best if we do the right thing and feel good when we’re doing it. That means, stay home as much as you can, go out for walks and bike rides and let’s stop this Covid-19 in its tracks!

#high vibration #feel joy #trail riding #no news #mountain biking #nature #covid-19

Me In My Genie Bottle

This is where magic happens.

Inactivity Hurts!

It feels like my HANDS are getting out of shape!

This is me looking very professional as a Massage Therapist.

While I’m still getting my exercise, it feels like my HANDS are getting out of shape! I haven’t massaged any BODY in over a month!

I can still get out and practice yoga, walk all over the place, and ride my bike but there is something to be said about INACTIVITY–especially for your hands if you use them as a profession!

One thing I’ve learned from my clients bodies’ is: not using your muscles is what causes chronic pain in the body.

Yes!

After 30 plus years of massaging people, many truths reveal themselves. The people who have the most chronic pain are people who haven’t been moving their bodies with exercise.

It’s true and my hands are starting to hurt! I suppose now would be the time to start squeezing that flexible ball designed for such things. I’ve never used it since my hands are usually too busy!

The moral of the story is to pay attention to your body. Give it what it needs and it needs movement and activity! If you’re not getting it, you will feel the repercussions–even if it is just your hands!!!

Oh I know it takes a little something extra for some to get out there and move but PLEASE move your body in one way or another, you will be glad you did!!! Of course, there are lots of on-line opportunities to exercise so please take care of you and honor your body, it needs you!!!

Burrow In

Lots of people outside these days. It’s so great to see families walking together, and couples. I heard one of our television anchors (who is at home isolated) say that he and his wife haven’t taken a neighborhood walk together in years and years!

Perhaps we needed this time. To stop running away from ourselves, from our loved ones. You know, going so fast! We’ve got lots of time to look within, to organize our environment and our emotions. It’ll be different for everyone. Some of us live alone so we’ll get overtime on ourselves. Some of us really need to get real with our partners and families. We’ll never ever forget this time, let’s make it count for more than just flattening the curve!

Pretty Much Home Bound

All my massage clients canceled for today. Seems we are all going to get lots of home time. It looks like I will only be seeing my animal clients.

My private training client has his sister-in-law visiting from Iran. She arrived only two days ago.

Home Sweet Home

Since I live in a house with two 80 year olds, I cannot, in good conscience, go into his home and train him while his sister-in-law may be carrying the virus. Since it can go undetected for 24 days. It would be a potential death sentence to my housemates.

They are in so much fear because of the news being so crazy. They are afraid for their lives! Instead of focusing on the doom and gloom though, let’s not forget the wonderful things about being at home.

If you have to be at home lots, Meditate, read, listen to music, dance! Keep your energetic vibration high and know that there is healing light to surround you, all you have to do is ask.

And honor your body with hydration and rest. Take lots of liposomal vitamin C and NAC, both great Virus fighters! Lemons, green tea, garlic, greens, ginger. Be super healthy and know that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Don’t let the fear take you down because it can. Fear will always rob you of your strength.

Affirm what is you want and NOT what you don’t want or are afraid of!

In the words of Dr. Bruce Lipton:

“Consciousness is creating your life experiences! Are you being conscious of disease … or of health?”

Make the most of the best and the least of the worst. We shall emerge on the other side.

This Year

I gotta tell it like it is even though I like to lean toward the positive. Let’s see, instead of stating the negative, I’m going to reframe it.

Point Dume’ Natural Preserve is one of my favorite California Beauties. The giant yellow Coreopsis are my yearly obsession.

This year, the plants did not thrive the way they have in previous years. 2015 was probably the best I’ve ever seen.

• 

Point Dume’ 2015 Naturegirltara.com

So, I am usually nagging people to get there before they shrivel up but I think you can skip this year!

This Year Point Dume’ 2020. Naturegirltara.com

Eagle!

I’m in love with Eagles! http://www.naturegirltara.com

Striking a Pose on The Malibu Bluffs

http://www.naturegirltara.com

Quiet Space

Oh what a beautiful place to create space! http://www.naturegirltara.com

A Toxic Tangle–He’s Just A Wanna Be!

I was able to get through 54 years of life not even knowing what the word TOXIC meant. Oh sure, I knew it meant “bad for you” but I only experienced it through bad food or substances. Now I know!

Toxic people are most always negative. Sure, they can put on a really good act in the beginning but only for a little while. Slowly, all the negativity and criticism starts oozing out of them.

There’s always something wrong and upsetting. Lots of drama, although they claim to want NO DRAMA!

In the beginning, they put on a  great facade.  They become over achievers in a few key areas of the relationship, they are eager to please!

He does everything right. He’s not just on time, he’s a little early. He wants to please in every way. He wants to spend as much time together as possible. He never neglects letting you know he’s thinking of you via text. These were all things I loved.

I remember hearing some relationship advice, “never fall in love with a person’s potential.” I thought it sounded rather harsh, now I know what it means!

He claimed to be a Godly man, he wanted to be in a committed, loving relationship. He wanted to be just like his nana and papa for the rest of his life.  He wanted to be calm and loving.  He wanted to be caring and gentle.

Heads up! There’s a difference between wanting to be and BEING!

Do you remember that comforting phrase we soothed ourselves with in childhood, “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me?”

We all know how mean spirited kids can be, so that phrase did give me comfort when I was a girl.

Now, as a grown woman who spent some time with a mean spirited man, I know that phrase is NOT true. Those names did hurt me. Those names he called me in his fits of rage and disgust were harsh and hurtful.

Hurt people hurt people.

True.

Sad.

I had never experienced anything so traumatic and stressful. The first time it happened, it shook me to my core and I knew I should stop the relationship right then and there.  It felt unhealthy in every way.

I tried, but he talked me down.  I ignored my screaming intuition and for that I am full of regret.

At times, he felt like the male version of me and I the female version of him. It was something else! We knew what the other was thinking and spoke the words as the other thought the thoughts, it was otherworldly!

The chemistry between us was off the charts, freakish, never felt anything like it.

I’ll never forget hearing Alison Armstrong talk about chemistry.  She is one of the foremost experts on men and women and relationships. She taught that when you meet someone and you experience this off the charts chemistry between you, RUN!!!

At the time I heard it (many years ago), I didn’t understand. Why would I want to run from someone I had such an affinity towards?

Now I know. He showed up in my experience to help me heal my childhood wounds. I convinced myself then, that I was there to help him heal his childhood wounds.

I thought because he was such a Godly man, he would want to heal those deep wounds within himself that seemed to come out at me in a moments notice.

His childhood was particularly traumatic and abusive.  His father was physically and verbally abusive to his mother and to him.

He said that he wanted to heal and we prayed for it daily.  The outbursts still came.  The words still rolled off his tongue with such ugliness that my hope just continued to diminish.

I can’t tell you how many times I tried to break up and stay away but whenever I’d see him, my heart would melt back into that hopefulness. Over and over and over and over again. 

I needed someone who needed me as much as I needed them.  My childhood wounds had more to do with the feeling of neglect and not having enough attention. I had so much love and hope to give.

Until one day, I had to be strong. I had to stay away.

The words turned physical. The first assaults were grabbing and shoving and yes, they left bruises. Then, more grabbing until the last day where his hands had a vice grip on my jaw.

That was 24 months ago.  As I look back, it’s hard to believe that was ME in that toxic tangled up mess!

Names do hurt the girl within but the woman I have become cannot be touched by the meanness. He came from his place of hurt and was only a boy himself when his childhood programs triggered him into action.

I forgive.

I get back to me now, finding ways to love me even more.

I am free from this terror of a man!

I watched a “wanna be” unravel.  He had no control over his anger.  He tried and tried but it never stuck.  As much as we prayed for presence and awareness and gaining control over the monster within him, we couldn’t control him.

I am free.  I am blessed.  Yes, I am alone, very alone,  but I can assure you it is far better than being entangled with a traumatized boy trapped in a macho man’s body.

If you are reading this and can relate, please do whatever it takes to put yourself back in the lead. You can love yourself and let that be enough for now. Yes, being with someone and having a connection is so sweet but not when it brings you trauma and pain and the potentiality being hurt or even killed by a man who has no control over his childhood programs.

I wonder how many women he’s gone through since then.  I’m sad for him and instead of trying to fix him, I need to fix myself.

I played my part in the mess.  I learned many things about me that aren’t easy to look at.  I am ashamed but shame is what keeps all of us stuck and hidden away.

Shame is unreleased anger and hurt.  We’ve all got it in varying degrees. Spending time on oneself is the magic that many people miss out on. Don’t go along with the stigma our society places on those of us who are single and living alone.  Single and focusing on ourselves is a far better place to be than the stress and eventual sickness that staying in an abusive relationship will always lead to.  

Bright Sunshiney Day!

Talk To The Animals

I’ve always spoken to animals as if they’re my closest friends. Most all animals will like you more when you just BE who you are toward them.

Treat them like a living breathing BEING, not a pet and you’ll feel the fullness of connection at its best. Ive been opening my heart to animals since I was very young girl.

Palisades Bluffs with Reggie and Lily!

My soul mate wasn’t just my best friend Annette, it was Boots, and Spot, and Rusty and Suzy. This is one part of my life where I am fully authentically me.

Can I Get A Connection!

Don’t you dare think that being left alone with just a bowl full of food, some water and a litter box is fine. We need someone to love us, pay attention to us, calm us down and make us feel loved and secure. Human touch, we need it!

Time In The Saddle–25 years!

I remember the first time I saw someone riding their bike up a dirt trail, I thought they were crazy, “who would want to do that?”

A few years later, I was crazy because I wanted to do that! This year marks 25 years Mountain Biking in The Santa Monica Mountains!

The very first ride was on borrowed bikes. We didn’t know how to change a flat and we certainly didn’t have the tools to do it.

After 3 flats in one day and driving back and forth to the bike shop, we finally finished our first ride. It was Sycamore Canyon in Pt. Mugu State Park—a trail system that goes from the Pacific Ocean all the way to The Conejo Valley–a vast amount of space, deep with connector trails, singeltrack trails, and wide fire roads.

You can spend a whole day here!

Oh the places we’ve been able to see! (naturegirltara.com)

I’ll never forget my first year of riding, I entered the California Mountain Bike Challenge. There were 7 races throughout the State and I just kept crashing! I was a good climber but I didn’t have any racing experience and I wasn’t real polished in my technical skills on the downhills.  I have many scars to prove it!

I asked my competitor, “how do you stay on your bike, I keep crashing!” Her reply has been a theme for my life ever since. She said, “IT’S JUST TIME IN THE SADDLE.”

Time In The Saddle! naturegirltara.com

IT’S JUST TIME IN THE SADDLE!

Apparently, she had been riding for six years and was racing in the beginner category (not cool). She knew from experience that it’s not easy for anyone who takes on Mountain Biking as a sport.

I wanted to be great NOW and not have to go through the process of riding more to be great! Alas, everything in life is a process, time in the saddle. I learned to embrace the sentiment.

It was never an easy sport. There were days we would ride up Puerco Canyon in Malibu–it was steep! We would throw our bikes down sweating profusely, swearing!

It’s true, everything is a process. So going through it is a necessity in order to embrace it and maintain it.

Thank you for the light that shines behind me!

I came in third overall in that California Mountain Bike Challenge (1995) and I realized that I am not a competitive racer girl!  From then on,  I vowed to ride for the JOY of it!

Yep, sure enough it did take some time in the saddle. Even for the JOY of it!

So many aspects of riding has evolved for me — I can now change a flat…anywhere, anytime.

I took the time to learn how to change a flat instead of waiting for some guy to cross my path and fix it for me!  

That, alone, was a major challenge.  A couple of the guys were just so insistent that they change my flat.  I had to be really forceful and firm, “I learned how to change flats and now I have to practice.  PLEASE, let me change my own flat!!!”

Years later, I was able to help two men on the side of Pacific Coast Highway who had a flat and were unprepared. Clearly, they were in the place I was all those years ago when I knew nothing and was not prepared to fix a flat on my own. It felt good to give back!

Today I rode on the same trail system where I rode frequently back in the day. A smile was pasted on my face!

There’s something about it, when you get up there and there is no one around, sounds of bees, birds and trees blowing in the wind. It is certainly a meditative, transformative experience. Being out in the day and feeling all the joys of life in nature!

My ego is no longer involved. I’m not out to prove anything. If I’m feeling unsure about descending a new trail, I easily step off my pedals and walk down the trail. On a good day though, I’m quite competent! I can fly down most trails and I can pedal up any trail.

Mountain biking is my friend but I had to take the time to nurture that friendship. I couldn’t just start out being competent, I had to earn it.

The same is true with any physical practice you take on. Yoga is my friend as well, it pulls me into the present moment, just like being out on the trail.

If you suffer from being in your head too much and most of your friends are busy or far away (like mine), take on an activity that fills you up with joy and a sense of empowerment.

I believe our bodies are our best friends. Sometimes we put them last in line but your body is your friend. Feed it with activities that nourish you.

My friends, when I do get to interact with them, feel like these physical forces. They are a force of validation and aliveness. I’ve never been the friend who has to have somebody with me for exercise, so glad because without my physical practices, I’d be very alone since most of them are far far away!

I am so grateful for my physical friends and that I’ve taken the time and YEARS to nurture the physical practices that make me feel ALIVE even without them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Today June 9, 2019–Trailer Canyon in Pacific Palisades , CA

Tenacious Trees!

this tree trunk was blackened by The Woolsey Fire but the branches keep bursting forward with new green life!

Tara The Tree Lover!

Palisades Park, Santa Monica CA http://www.NatureGirlTara.com

Mia and Tara

Mia and Tara smiling and panting at the end of our hike!

Naturegirltara.com

A spectacular day high stop West L A. NatureGirlTara

Mia and Tara (NatureGirlTara)

Linus and Moby

Naturegirltara

Time To Embrace My Wrinkles

Hey, Happy Earth Day! As I stand here in front of the Mountain Lilac, I am learning to embrace my wrinkles!  I’m sure this will not be a popular trend but I’ve never gone along with the trends easily.

I feel like we are all so obsessed with beauty and perfection. Every time we look in the mirror and judge ourselves for having real wrinkles, it feels like little bits of self-hatred and it feels so wrong.

We’re all scrambling around trying to get rid of the ugliness, the imperfections. Serums and creams and fillers and facelifts. Oh how we have gone astray.

I think we are mostly filling ourselves with self-hatred, trying everything to get rid of the imperfections, or what we’ve been hypnotized to think are imperfections! It’s really rather absurd when you stand back and look at it.

Yes, fillers make the skin look smooth and pretty and it is tempting, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Mostly because of vanity, again. I’m afraid it wouldn’t look natural and I wouldn’t want people judging me based on my fake face.

Vanity vanity vanity, any way you look at it. We’re all so physically focused. I want a new focus!

I’m tired of all the little pieces of hate I throw at myself. I’m sure I’m not alone here?

Basically the wrinkles are little traces of time written on my face and I have lived 59 years so far and that is a lot to be grateful for!

No, it won’t be easy to get unhypnotized because it’s a lifetime of societal pressures and hypnotisms.

But hey.

How about we get out and be part of nature more often. The more we see beauty out there, the more we’ll see beauty in here. Mind training with Nature!

So here, on this Earth Day, I choose to embrace my wrinkles. For each wrinkle I focus on, I will recycle a nugget, a memory that makes that wrinkle worthy! Wrinkles are signs of worthiness! Yes! Go ahead, zoom in and check them out!

#wrinkles #worthiness #worthy #nature #beauty #embrace #society #hypnotized #imperfection #imperfections

I’m feeling relaxed and safe. Most of the time I react from old programming. I have anger issues but Tara helps me feel secure , confident, and loved unconditionally.

yes, I am special

…just hanging out in the new couch.

Finnegan is full of feelings.

Wild Animals

The only other living, breathing, beings out there on my mountain bike ride were two HORSES (with riders) and two jumbo COYOTES with a gorgeous full coat of red rusty fur!

The coyotes were about 5 feet in front of me on the trail. We had a face-off as I approached and communicated with my body language then with words. They slowly trotted ahead on the trail, then into the bushes.

When I encounter them.

I have no fear, only exhilaration!

Vivid Colors Everywhere!

Coyote’s Animal Spirit message is: when a coyote Spirit animal crosses your way, you may be encouraged to not take things too seriously. Perhaps you need to lighten up or change your perspective about an issue or matter that has been on your mind for a while. There’s often wisdom in making fun of serious matters and letting go of certainties.

Call on the coyote to invigorate an appreciation of life‘s wisdom through diversity and richness.

I love this message!

Palo Comado Canyon, CA

I know that most people don’t like seeing a coyote because it reminds them of all their beloved animals that have been eaten by coyotes.

I understand, but I think we all need more compassion for coyotes. They are just living out their wild animal nature. They’re trying to survive out there. Clearly, the 2 coyotes I saw today were well fed. There are lots of rabbits in that canyon so I think that’s why they look so healthy and big.

Anyway, don’t forget to take the time to notice your animal spirit guides. They always have a message for us.

Check out the website Spirit Animal and I recommend reading “Animal Speak”by Ted Andrews.

Fascinating!

One more thing, when you encounter a wild animal or a wild person, try not to exhibit fear.

Move forward in your nature and let them know that you respect them in their space and you’re just going to go on your way and they can go on their way as well.

They would rather you be in a fearful, weak state. That’s what they are looking for—the weak, the injured, the fearful.

Life wants us to trust. I trust the animals.

Wildflower Bursts

#animals #trust #nature #spiritguides #animaltotem #eaglepose

Choose Pronoia!

I needed to hear this again so I thought you all might need it too!

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

I was flying down a singletrack trail on my mountain bike yesterday–the trail closed in and became a little brushy. There were curves and overgrown bushes so it was hard to look far enough ahead to see what was coming up. It felt like I was a little blind, in the fog and not knowing what was next.  Just because you’ve gotten really good at something, don’t think the unexpected isn’t around the next corner.

Nothing is certain and just because you’ve seen the same things over and over doesn’t mean you’ll keep seeing them.

Life can be that way sometimes. The certainty of what lies ahead is not certain at all! Anything can happen…the trail could end, a wild animal could approach, a dangerous drop off in the trail could stop you in your tire tracks or you could even come face to face with the love of your…

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27 Years of Living and Learning in Los Angeles !

June marks 27 years living in California.

Here are 27 things I have learned about living in Los Angeles after  27 years of living here:

1)  I really don’t have to fit in with the crowd here–NOR do I want to!

2)  In time, everyone talks like a “Californian.”  We say things like, “yeah, traffic was so great today–I took the 405 to the 101 then down Kanan to PCH into Malibu, then back up Malibu Canyon to the 101 to the 405 and home–I flew the whole time!” We actually don’t say this very often, it’s usually, “the 405 sucked today!”  I feel sorry for anyone who has to get on it every day. 

3)  There  are so many natural places to play, it’s not just a cement jungle!  There are the San Gabriel’s, the Santa Susana’s and my stomping grounds, the Santa Monica Mountains.  Hike, Bike, PLAY! 

4)  When I go to Beverly Hills, I feel like a fish out of water!  There are oversized lips and boobs and the gaudiest cars and stores and everyone WANTS you to see them.  It just feels odd.

5)  My environment caters to my healthy lifestyle–everywhere I go! Health food stores, restaurants, markets, healthy pharmacies, juice bars, and yoga studios abound!

6)  Meetup.com inspires me in more ways than just meeting people.  Meeting people is easy because there are a lot of people and there are a lot of people wanting to meet people! 

7)  Riding my bike along the 22 mile ocean bike path from Pacific Palisades to Palos Verdes has been a dream of mine since I was 10- pure joy and exhilarating beauty!

8)  Yes, you CAN find lots of places to ride horses and yes your childhood dreams can come true and yes you could live on a private horse ranch and learn more than you could ever imagine about horses–I did!

9)  Yes, you can go to the beach in the morning and be on the ski slopes by afternoon!  Road trips up North are my favorite–the whole of this state thrills me!  The hike/climb up to Half Dome in Yosemite is a major highlight!

10)  Rainy days are embraced and cherished, they provide a much-needed break from all the sunshine!

11)  Malibu really does feel like a small town.  It is as beautiful as you might imagine.  Malibu is where my soul resides, it is my Shangri-La! 

12)  I love the endless choice of yoga studios in Santa Monica–The Mecca of Yoga.  I’ve learned from many teachers and they’ve all been in Santa Monica.  I know how fortunate I am to live HERE.   I can’t imagine my life without my yoga practice!

13)  People who live in affluence are not as you imagine–most I have met, anyway, are the real deal– lovely and generous and some of the nicest people in my sphere.  To judge anyone for any reason is the most limiting activity there is!

Classy Cat!

14)  Even though this is a big city with lots of people, sometimes a person can feel very alone.  Other times, it is so small and I run into people I know all over the place!

• 

15)  Driving in traffic can be beautiful, honestly!  I see massive amounts of beauty from high atop the freeway overpasses.  And no, traffic doesn’t only happen in Los Angeles, traffic happens in every city!  I love my electric car,  it actually gains miles on the battery while in traffic instead of sucking up gas!

16) I love being by the beach and feeling the cool of the ocean air.  Just as much, I love being over the hill in the Valley at night, the breeze is warm and balmy and there is no need for sweaters or jackets!

17)  Not driving my car and riding my bike to work is freedom!

18)  Yes, you can enjoy going to museums–my favorite is  just across the canyon–The J. Paul Getty museum off the busiest freeway–the 405!  I have a confession to make though, once I took a friend there and we didn’t even go inside and look at the art.  We stayed outside looking at the gardens and the views of the city!  The art IS amazing though, so hard to comprehend the precision and talent that exists in all of us.

19)  I have made more friends here than anywhere I’ve ever lived. 

20)  The free concerts on the Santa Monica Pier in the summertime FEEL really good.  To be out in the night-time ocean air listening to music and meeting new people is my kind of night!

21)   There are farmers markets everyday of the week all year round in my town and surrounding towns.  That is such a gift!

22)  In all the years I’ve lived here, I’ve not taken one day for granted.  I love where I live and have lived and I’m so glad I made the bold move out here those 27 years ago.

23)  Again, I say, “fitting in”  is not an option for me here.  Authenticity does exist and only we can choose it for ourselves.  The alternative is working really hard to look good to all the people around you.  Ugh,  as Ralph Waldo Emerson writes, “envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide!”

24) Take time to play, it is the secret to perpetual youth!

 

25) Maintain a high energetic vibration and if for some reason it feels weak and vulnerable, get the negative people out of your life.  Your vibration needs to be the dominant one.

26)  When life beats you up a bit, remember, you are growing and expanding because of it!

27)  Cutting people OUT of our lives is a necessity.  You don’t have to be NICE to everyone, make your boundaries strong!

Their View Mirror

I have noticed something that I just keep getting clearer and clearer about it.  Every time I get down or go into a depression, it is almost always because I am viewing my life from someone else’s view of me.

To say it another way, I love my little life.  I live in a funky environment that is rare and doesn’t necessarily FIT into what society views as normal.  I absolutely devour my nights at home and LOVE my living situation.

Yet, there are times that I find myself depressed.  Lately I’ve been able to pinpoint why–it’s because I’m viewing my life from THEIR view of me.

People say things to me that are so inappropriate and with such pity aimed at me.   Please don’t pity me just because I’m not living the life that you would live!  I am me and you are you–please consider that when you judge!

I don’t fit into the normal 9-5 world.  I do all the things I love and am good at but they’re all over the place so there are some who frown upon me.  They tell me I need to focus in one area.

When I view my life from within, I am blissful and happy.

When I look through THEIR eyes, I become that poor pitiful person they see me as.

Really, I ask you, why does it have to look a certain way?  Why do our lives have to conform to everybody else’s way of living or society’s view of what a successful existence is?  It doesn’t, and the clearer I get about this, the more I thrive in my own reality.

“The older you get, the more you understand how your conscience works.  The biggest and only critic lives in your perception of people’s perception of you rather than people’s perception of you.”
― Criss Jami

Brilliant!

So, when it all comes down to it, I AM in charge of my thoughts and feelings.  When I feel what people are perceiving my life to be, I don’t have to allow those perceptions to permeate my being.

Our lives are our own and when we embrace them with a sense of wholeness, we thrive.

As Emerson said, “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”  God I love that.

So, this I say to myself and to you if you care to receive it:   our lives are our own and we get to decide what we value and what feels good–nobody else.  I suppose it is easier said than done but with some introspection and breath work within, we can come to the place where it really is okay REGARDLESS of what THEY think!

Diary of A Massage Therapist–Energy!

Sometimes it’s nice to be able to share with someone at the end of a gratifying day, but since I had no one in my physical space to share with, I’m sharing with you!

I’ve been giving and receiving massages almost 30 years.
I don’t express enough gratitude for having learned the art of giving massages. I am grateful. The more I give, the better I get.

I must say, tonight was the QUINTESSENTIAL night for giving massages. All the people MATCHED my energy fully. I shared what I know and they openly received.

To feel a body shift and let go is a really cool feeling. The more present I become, the more tuned in I am.

Tonight, it was all about positive energetic exchange. I’ve learned over the years that energy IS the real deal.

Perhaps the best part of the night was my last client. Usually by 8:15 most therapists are wanting to go home. I’m usually one of them!

But tonight, I was looking forward to another person and their energy to flow with. This woman was so complimentary and appreciative. She kept thanking me for what I do. The last half of the massage, she remained silent and felt all the energy moving through her body.

When she emerged from the room, she was full of gratitude and said, “don’t stop doing what you’re doing, you are meant to do this.” She then handed me my tip which from most clients is $20. This, as I noticed later, was a $50. Now, this is on top of a $47 massage.

No, it’s not about the money but it was a bit of a thrill to receive the extra, unexpected cash. So I say to you, don’t stay stuck on what you “should” tip. If you’re feeling it, GIVE GENEROUSLY! It’s a thrill to receive more than we expect.

And just to confirm it wasn’t about the money, on the Wednesday following that blissful Saturday night, my last client of the day was an elderly woman. She was soft spoken and didn’t speak english all that clearly.

Her limbs totally relaxed and she didn’t fight any movement I made. Her breathing was deep and relaxed. Her energy was AMAZING! She was in bliss. Her tip was $13, far below what we like to receive.

I told the manager that I would work on that woman over and over, regardless of the minimal tip. I LOVED HER ENERGY and she loved mine.

Really, it’s true, EVERYTHING IS ENERGY! Not everyone can feel it but it’s there.

Yesterday a client FELT the energy for sure!

When she emerged from the room she said, “WOW, WHAT WAS THAT!” She made sure to tell me that she isn’t some spiritual “energy” kind of person but what she felt
was an unexplainable “energetic rush of positive energy.”

At the end of the massage, I did some energy balancing with my hands. She was breathing really hard so I thought she had fallen asleep. She said, “oh no, I wasn’t asleep I was breathing as deep as I could to continue to take in what felt like more positive energy than I knew what to do with!”

I told her my technique. And here it is and here is my prayer for you:
I say my version of the “Namaste” prayer silently in my mind and I see and FEEL all the words for both of us while using my hands as an energetic way of holding that loving energy.

I HONOR THE PLACE IN YOU WHERE THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE DWELLS–THE PLACE WHERE THERE IS:
TRUTH
LOVE
PEACE
JOY
HEALTH
EASE and
ABUNDANCE.

WHEN YOU ARE IN THAT PLACE IN YOU AND I AM IN THAT PLACE IN ME, WE ARE ONE!!!

Now, go treat yourself to a loving massage!

Angel Activity

I remember a time when if I were to read that title, “Angel Activity” I wouldn’t even bother reading the rest.

I never believed in angels. It sounds really sweet and spiritual but I never gave it much thought.
Our beliefs are sometimes hard to bust through, but it’s pretty incredible when they BUST!

Recently, though, I have a very close friend that passed and I know she is swirling around me, watching over me, hovering closely. Does that sound whacked to you?!!

It would have sounded whacked to me not too long ago. The first time I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT she was there was one of the most powerfully magical moments I’ve ever witnessed!

A very angry man who could not control his emotions or actions was enraged. He grabbed my jaw and began to squeeze–it felt like my jaw was in a vice grip.

In my mind I thought, “he’s going to break my jaw,” and THEN in a BURST of a moment, the energy went out of my jaw and burst through his hand and popped a metacarpal tendon on the back of his hand. IT WAS LOUD!

In an instant, he was writhing in pain on the floor and I couldn’t help but have this smile of utter disbelief and awe fixed upon my face.

At the time, I didn’t realize it was my friend Cil. I just thought it was God or the Universe or whatever force you want to call it, protecting me and he thought for sure he was being punished by God!

Then, 2 days later I was sitting quietly and going within when the thought occurred to me, “maybe that was Cil.” As soon as I thought it, a flood of goose bumps covered my body in ripples–it was palpable! I will call them angel bumps now!

They say, those who have passed use mostly energy and electricity to get through to us. I have found this to be true on more than one occasion.

Oh God yes, that was my friend Cil. She had known all about the drama between this on again off again boyfriend and I. I tried to end it over and over but his words of hope and the intense chemical attraction we both shared always drew me back in.

Over and over it became quite clear to me that this is truly what the word TOXIC means. I don’t need to tell you the whole saga but the point is, she knew every bit of it and she was surely there in that room hovering close.

She was so sick near the end of her time here on earth that I was her only friend left and the only person who spent any time talking to her. All of her other friends dumped her because they got tired of listening to all her pain and sickness stories.

I had compassion for her. I wanted her to feel like her life mattered so I listened to the meaningless stories and tried my best to be an ear of loving support for her.

In any case, the point is, she had a reason to be there in that room while the grip was getting tighter on my jaw. She had heard through our calls that his angry outbursts had the potential to escalate to physical outbursts and not just the ugly words that flew out of his mouth.

Cil always assured me, the closer she came to passing, that she would ALWAYS BE WITH ME! She had experienced an on going relationship with both her mother and father after they passed. She was true to her word!

Just this evening on my drive home, when I got in my electric car the infotainment center was not lighting up and my phone was not connecting automatically.

I drove for about 10 minutes trying to turn it off and on and get it to snap on. I had a long drive ahead of me so I wanted to at least have some fun music to accompany me.

Finally, I thought of Cil and asked out loud, “Cil can you please turn this on now for me!” I kid you not, within 5 seconds it was lit up and my phone was connecting.

Yes indeed, it’s hard to deny and it’s hard to stay closed off to the possibility of Angel Activity when I have my very own with me whenever I need her. I feel so blessed and protected.

I can hear her sweet words encouraging me when I am too hard on myself, I can feel her comforting presence when I feel overwhelmed with all the different directions my life goes in.

Today is Cil’s birthday–here’s to you Cil. Your sweetness and enthusiasm were a powerful force when you were in physical form and now I must say, it is just as powerful in your loving Angelic form. I love you!

Malibu Hikers!

“What do these women wish to achieve by hiking up these hills in Malibu?”

Imagine a very proper Brittish accent with a sort of chronic, cynical way of being in life asking this question, I was telling her about the out of town visitors I’ve been leading on private hikes in Malibu.

Her words and the tone of her words made me laugh very hard!

I quickly produced an answer for her:

When you’re out in nature hiking up a hill, things get quiet.  When it’s quiet, you feel peace and more clarity than you do when you’re sitting in a house with the television and the wi fi and the phone ringing.  Not only does that technology create too much chatter, but all of those interference fields create a bit of chaos in your thinking. 

The women travel here on business and want to carve out time for themselves, time to recharge and rejuvenate.  In my humble opinion, there is no better place to do that than out on the hiking trail in Malibu!

She quietly accepted that answer.

Now I say to you–any chance you get to be out in nature or out on the hiking trail, TAKE IT!  Nature is the great equalizer.

One of my clients was antsy to get to the climbing part of our hike.  She said that when she is challenged by a hill, epiphanies jump into her mind and she gets answers!

It’s true.  Simple and True.  Try it.

If you don’t have the confidence to follow the trail alone, please let me be your private hiking guide in Malibu.  My goal is to keep you moving in the right direction and to make sure you get the connection to nature that YOU and everybody deserves!

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Love Hurts

I remember my first date EVER–the song playing on the radio was “Love Hurts” by Nazareth (https://youtu.be/6pHNkOQCIzkLove Hurts)

Nick picked me up in his classic Oldsmobile, can’t remember the year but it was old.  When he backed out of the driveway,  his car wouldn’t go into forward drive!

It was quite a scene.

So, we drove in reverse down the street for a couple of blocks before it decided it would shift into drive.  All the while, “Love Hurts” was playing on the radio.

That is one of those moments etched in my mind.  My first date turned into my first love and Love did Hurt!   It went on and on with make ups and break ups and lies and betrayals and all kinds of HURT!

“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”  Those are the words and feelings I tried to embody after that  first break up with my very first love in life.  They were simple words that did soothe the pain.

Now, 35 years later, I find comfort in the words again .  Yes, my heart has broken into a million pieces because what I thought was going to be a perfect partnership, turned out otherwise.  LOVE HURTS!

Yes, from the place I sit today, it feels like it would be much easier to just avoid the love offerings out there.  You know, just stay out of the game and sit on the sidelines so I don’t have to get bruised and burned again.

That, though, is the ultimate betrayal.

Being in a relationship that becomes deep and intimate is such a gift–a gift of learning  about ourselves through those other eyes.

I have learned so much about myself this time around and now it’s time to go back to work on healing my precious Tara within.  I will get back to loving myself completely before I can even attempt to love another.  He simply reflected to me, like a mirror, all the ways I need to love myself more.

 

I really did think I loved myself fully.  I guess I can say I was fortunate to go through this to see that I’ve got more work to do on ME!

So, even though LOVE HURTS, I am willing–willing to love myself fully and then and only then will I want to get back on the field and play the game!!!