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Envy in Malibu

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I have the privilege and honor of caring for people’s homes and animals while they are away.  One of the questions people always ask me is:

“Do you ever become jealous or envious when  caring for other people’s homes?Do you go into the comparison mode and wish you had more of this wealth and abundance.”

Am I envious? Absolutely not! Sure, there are times my mind wanders into that lower energy place of lack and feelings of unworthiness, but my work is to guide it back to the light.

Right now I feel like I’m on the set of  “Under The Tuscan Sun.”  I feel so fortunate to be in this space.  I admire the beauty of it all and I enjoy the responsibility while I’m here but I also enjoy the freedom of my regular life when I’m at home.JacksonsCastle

This will sound bazaar to most, but I never really wanted the responsibility of owning my own home.  I wanted to feel free to go anywhere in the world without being tied down by the physical responsibility of a house.  What can I say, I was young and that’s how I felt.  Now, that’s exactly where I’m at in my life today.

I live in an “out of the ordinary” environment and one of my living spaces resembles a log cabin.  Interestingly, a log cabin is also what I once dreamed of living in.IMG_0244

 Today, though, I’m here in Malibu– enjoying this blissful space and reaping the rewards within right now.  The rewards really are within! And the rewards really are right now!

 

The question really isn’t “what can I get”, the question is “what can I let”–what can I let into my soul that will bring me joy and peace and beauty and ease.  I don’t have to GET anything to feel those feelings.

Feelings transport me into  a high-flying place where bliss is all I see and hear and feel.  Beautiful chimes mixed in with the sound of real raw wind whipping through the palm trees and a fountain dripping below.  I sit and watch and feel the beauty within and there is something so simple about that. All power is in the present moment and I am anchored in the here and now.Blessings

When all is said and done, I remember my favorite quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

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Time Passages!

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It’s a thrill to know that someone from over 30 years ago was thinking of me today, remembering me, speaking about me fondly. 

I got a message from one of my Facebook friends.  She is the daughter of my very first boss!

Tino, my boss who I haven’t been in touch with in almost 30 years, had some blinds installed in their home today.  As he and his wife talked to the young man who installed the blinds, he discovered that Tino was the co-owner of Howard’s Drugs in Livonia, MI.

That was the connecting fuse.  Paul ( a young man I dated briefly) knew me when I worked at Howard’s.

What’s very cool is, now I am going to be in touch with the very first boss I ever had!

For years, after leaving Howard’s to go out and explore new horizons,  I would always pop in every few months and just stay in touch.

It was hard to let those connections go!IMG_0508

Tino and Dennis (the Pharmacists and Co-Owners) were such a formidable part of  my growing up.  I started working there when I was 17.  I worked my way up as a cashier of the tobacco and candy counter  to the pharmacy where I worked for 6 years.  I learned a lot about life there in that pharmacy!

After several years of popping in and catching up though, they sold the store and there was something so sad and empty inside me–that I couldn’t go and see people that were once a part of my life, really a part of my growing up!  Home base.17yroldTara

Sometimes I feel that way about all of my past relationships.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could  just “catch up” with everyone we ever knew and loved?  Well, maybe not everyone!

Facebook  has added a depth and richness to my life, we really are fortunate to live in this time–this would never have been relayed to me without my Facebook friend connection!

In his email reply,  hearing from me after all these years Tino said,  “I tell you I got just as excited as your old friend Paul– when he came running back in the house and said, “I was in love with Tara” and I said, “we all loved Tara.”  We both enjoyed the moment!

Think about it.  Life is  long.  We touch lots of lives and go through many stages and take all kinds of paths.  To hear that someone from all those years ago is remembering you, talking about you, wondering about you — makes you…transcendent!TaraPikeMarket

Can’t think of any other word to describe it.

I

You

We…

Transcend Time!

We go BEYOND the limits of time!tara-and-the-coastline.jpg

There’s just something so sweet about that.  Even though people are gone from our lives, they are still part of our lives and we are still part of theirs. Our soul is our home.

I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m a very reflective person or if it happens to everyone, but so many people pop into my conscious thoughts and memories.  Mostly just flashes, but it’s enough of a flash to be a thrill.

Yes,  I do believe I’m living my heaven on earth when I have those flashes–all the best characters of my life  visit me everyday.  Thank you!

California Dreams–Letting Go!

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I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”! 

I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.MeetupPhoto

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 23 years now.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby and I feel as if California is in my bones.  I love this place, it is so magnificent!

Where else can you go to the beach then take a 2 to 5 hour drive and be in the mountains with snow?  Everywhere I go here, I feel at home.

California!  I’ve been up and down the coast and everywhere I go is total bliss.  It really is no wonder that people want to visit here, let alone move here.  If you knew what we had to endure in Michigan, you would have a heart and be okay with us being here.  While it is true, there are lots of people and cars, how can you blame them all?  This a a gorgeous place!

I remember one of the women at the gym complaining about all the cars flooding from the valley to go to the beach.  She said, “vals, go home, we don’t want you here”. 

It’s funny, I thought to myself, she moved here from Ontario Canada–who is she to talk?  Vals are the people who live in the San Fernando Valley.  It is a good 15-25 degrees hotter than on the beach.  Gosh, they deserve to enjoy the beach.  I can see it from both sides, though.  When I spend most of my time up and down the coast because I work in Malibu and live in Brentwood, there can be a huge amount of traffic in the summer months because of everyone flooding to the beach.  It’s all good though, we’re just enjoying where we get to live and play!IMG_0920

I enjoy where I live and play every day.  Today, as I drove the stretch of PCH that takes me to my long time place of work, The Malibu Gym, I marveled at the beauty of Point Dume’ in the distance.

Honestly, I don’t think there has been one day in the 23 years I’ve been driving that coast that I haven’t been in awe of the sight of it when I see it. IMG_0785

I do wonder, how is it possible to love a place so much?

The month of June, 2014 marks 23 years of living in California.  From the age of 10, I spent 20 years dreaming of living in California.onewiththetrailtara

Some might say it became everything I focused upon.

The DJ in the college cafeteria only had to see me and know that it was time to play my song, “California Dreamin”.  Class after class of teaching, I always ended in the relaxed visualizing mode and saw myself here, happy and vibrant!  Then, after years of postponing my move either because of school or a job or a boyfriend,  I made it happen.  I had dreamed and visualized and listened and dreamed some more and then I moved to California.

I had no car, no job, no place to live–I just had to be here once and for all.

So many dreams came true for me.  I live the lifestyle I lived when I lived in Michigan.  I lived it in my own little world there because my environment didn’t really support it.

Today, I am surrounded by health food stores, healthy restaurants,  nature abounding everywhere I turn, near perfect weather, people I adore and so much more!

I love the life I’ve created.  I ride my bike, I hike the trails, practice yoga at my choice of a plethora of studios.  I live in a neighborhood that simply must be one of the prettiest in the country. fuscia flowersAbundance surrounds me in every direction I turn.  I am worthy of it all because I brought it to life with my visions and my strong desire.

Now, after 23 years of fully embracing and loving this place, I had the thought of letting it go.

Let it go and move onto something different.  I am open to that.  Montana seems to be pulsing in my radar these days.  Colorado is another place calling to me although the thought of the Winter months don’t really appeal to me.   Hawaii could work for me.  Wyoming is a mystery to me still. Or, I could stay here and just keep living it in the blissful fashion I’ve carved out for myself.

The feeling I had, though, when I let go of the need to be here and the need to stay here was so freeing.  pacific palisades hike

By letting go, we simply surrender to either something better or keeping that which we have.  It was obvious I had been clinging to being here.  I could feel such a total sense of freedom when I just let go.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? “I am open to everything and attached to nothing”.  That sounds like a good plan.  I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say it many years ago and until you experience it in one area of life, you won’t really know how good it feels.

I am feeling this way in several areas of life and it feels like a dream–as  good as the California dream I had all those years ago!purple passion point dume

Vibrating Vicariously

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“Oh, my sister isn’t wealthy–she just lives vicariously through the wealthy people around her.”  Those were the words my sister used to describe me and my life.  When she recited them to me, I must admit I was a bit halted both in thought and words!  I wasn’t sure if I should be offended or not–I decided to let it go.

Yes, I have been spending time in multi million dollar lifestyles for over 20 years now. 

Upon moving away from my humble beginnings in Detroit, I magically wound up in Malibu.  I started training, massaging, and house-sitting for all kinds of people in Malibu–celebrities, moms, dads, producers, attorneys, musicians, actors, etc.  Not all of their lifestyles were multi million dollar, but they seemed to have way more than I  ever imagined myself having.

Today, as I led a group of hikers along the stretch of Westward beach that is lined with magnificent homes, I described one of the settings of a weekly massage client I had for about a year.

She lived with that beach as her back yard.  The balcony where I massaged her was so glorious.  You couldn’t see the sand or the parking lot below, you could only see the blue sky and ocean.  All you could smell was the ocean breeze–it was so breathtaking and breathgiving–all at once.

People always ask me, “aren’t you envious and resentful when you’re in their space?”

Honestly, no–I almost felt as if I were part owner of the space.  Heck, I got to be there every week and enjoy the space.  Yes, there were times I wished I could spend more time–just chillin and relaxing, but for the most part, I was in bliss.

The first place I lived in Malibu was on a private horse ranch.

The owners weren’t millionaires, but they had a property worth millions with 7 horses that made my childhood dreams come true.  The experiences I was able to live out there on that ranch were nothing short of miraculous.

My landlord saw the thrill and desire I had to learn how to ride so she graciously took me to horse clinics and trainings–one of them with the incomparable Ray Hunt!  I created a bond between one of the horses that was so warm and wonderful, words cannot describe the love I felt for that horse.  The most thrilling feeling was the love the horse felt for me–that was a warm and palpable force!

Yes, I have trained and massaged some of the biggest names in Hollywood.

Two of my neighbors are A-list actors who can play any role they want because they are who they are.  I am surrounded by abundance and wealth everywhere I go.  I take care of homes that are so magnificent and others that are humble in comparison.

Am I living vicariously through them?  I’m not sure.

What I am noticing, though, is that the more time I spend lingering around this lifestyle, the more it becomes reachable, believable, possible.

I am vibrating vicariously!  Why not right?  I am in it and around it.   By being in it, it becomes more a part of my vibration which helps me to maintain that vibration, which then must manifest in my life.

I have a friend who grew up in a very wealthy family.  She will always vibrate with the abundant energy she has, that’s just what she knows.  She knows nothing of lack or not enough and, fortunately, she will never know that because she has been trained to EXPECT wealth to be hers endlessly.

 

No, I boldly say to you, I have no doubt that this is all training for me.  I have been training my vibration for all these years and it simply must mean I am getting closer to the vibration of full and effortless abundance.  As I know, everything is energy.

We are all vibrating a frequency out into our environment.

The more time I spend with this wealth and abundance surrounding me, the more I will vibrate that signal and I won’t be able to help but match it!
When we raise our vibrations, we raise our ability to connect with the universe…

 

 

In case you haven’t noticed by now, I am a believer in vibration and the law of attraction.  

I take my time and enjoy my life, I’m not a huge go-getter but when I’m inspired to go for something, I go for it  because I’m listening to my inner guidance–that powerful place of presence.

 I’m not in a hurry and being in a hurry is why most people will never experience their greatest desires because they’ve got far too much resistance built up.

This is an amazing clip from an Abraham Workshop–describes vibration well.

The Life You Envisioned?

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Is your life everything you envisioned it to be?  This is a question someone asked me the other day.  My guess is he was looking at my life and wondering how I could possibly be happy.

I admit, I am a woman and I do think too much, but I was left feeling a little defensive and it made me really look at my life and wonder.

The answer was quite clear today as I rode my bike along the 25  mile stretch of bike path from Pacific Palisades to Palos Verdes.

I am living something I envisioned for many years.  Since the age of 10, I have wanted to live in Southern California.  I grew up in Michigan and did not entirely enjoy the weather or the lifestyle.

I never seemed to fit in.

The winter weather was harsh and the summers were way too short.  I spent most of my adult years hanging out in fruit markets or the couple of health food stores that existed then.   In the summertime, I tried to ride my bike as much as possible.  I rode to work and on my days off I rode along Edward Hines Drive…a long, lovely stretch of highway with parks all along.

The fact is, I love to play, move my body and be outside.  I have envisioned the life I’m living for many years and I AM living it now!

In college (while still in Michigan), there was a cafeteria that pumped music inside.  Everyday, I stopped into the DJ and requested my one and only song.

All he had to do is see my face to know it was time to play, “California Dreamin”.  I was 18 years old and the dream was strong.

Colleges and Universities kept me in Michigan.  If I wasn’t in college, it was a job or a boyfriend that seemed to tie me to that state.  I started to wonder if I would ever make it out of Michigan?

I taught Aerobic Fitness classes and at the end of every class I played some relaxation music and had my students (and myself) lie on their backs and visualize a place they wanted to be.

I had a couple of favorite songs I used for this segment of class but the best was “Summer” by War.  Interestingly, years later I identified one of the lyrics that I had never really heard clearly before… “from Atlantic City to out in Malibu or anywhere between I’m telling you when you feel those balmy breezes on your face, Summertime is the best time anyplace”. 

I had heard the part about the balmy breezes, but  Malibu didn’t come clear to me until many years later.

When my husband and I sold everything we owned and drove someone’s car out (the day after we received our Masters Degree), the first place we lived was Malibu!

The lyrics in the song brought me to Malibu…what are the chances of that?  We moved without having a car, a job, or a place to live.  We wound up in a most magical place that is still home to me.

We carved out a life for ourselves that went right along with what we envisioned.  We were active, working out in the gym and enjoying the nature abounding all around us…hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding.

We lived in Malibu  on a private horse ranch.

One of my biggest dreams as a girl was to learn to ride and spend loads of time with horses. That happened for me as well. 

My landlord took me to riding clinics and taught me everything I could want to know about horses.  I bonded with a special horse and felt an intense amount of love and sensitivity.

Another long time dream–I met one of my bodybuilding heroes at the gym I work at.  For years, while still living in Michigan, I devoured every magazine article I could find about her–I adored her.  Then, one day, she was being introduced to me at The Malibu Gym–my workplace!

Today, I looked to my right and the waves were crashing, then I looked to my left and was awestruck by the snow capped mountains in the distance.

In my visualizations at the end of those aerobic classes,  I always saw myself living in a place with the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other.  I was vibrant and healthy and happy.

A good many years have passed–things have changed and my former husband and I have gone in different directions.  For the last 6 years, I live on my own–sort of.  This is probably why the question was asked from the man who asked.

Ron is a visitor of Will who lives in the guesthouse on the property that I have my office.  I live in the main house with a woman.  I have my own bedroom/bathroom and entrance.

My office, however, is out beyond the pool across from Will’s guesthouse.  Will’s visitor sees me “wandering about” as he calls it (he’s Australian).  My office beyond the pool is a 1 room building lodged up against the mountainside.  There isn’t a bathroom so I need to walk up the stairs to the main house if I need to use the bathroom.

I guess, to the onlooker, this doesn’t look all that glamorous and one would think that a woman my age would be established and living alone in a place where there were bathrooms to use without hiking all over the property.

I can only surmise that his interpretation of my life is that I am not happy with where things are.

Oh, I’m sure I could have more and be more and thrive more, but I embrace where I am. Almost all I envisioned came true for me.

In my eyes I have everything I need and there’s always something we could complain about.  And yes, I am envisioning new desires…I certainly haven’t stopped envisioning my life.

There are new orders I have placed with the Universe and until they arrive, I will be happy with my life NOW.

But, to answer the question, “is your life everything you envisioned it to be”?  Yes, indeed it is.  It is richer and warmer and more wonderful than I envisioned it.  So many dreams have come true…
My life is everything I envisioned and more.  Experiences, relationships, and places are the wonder all around me.

I live in bliss on a daily basis. 

From your perspective or Ron’s perspective it may not look that great, but this is my life,  I am happy,  I am fulfilled and I am so glad I know that this is the life I have envisioned and the life I AM envisioning is coming into existence as I write!!!