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Magical Manifestations!

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I finally watched the movie, “Milk”.  A few years late, but really glad I saw it.  I’ve been talking about it to several friends, discussing how crazy it is that that phase in history could go down.   Sometimes my sense of empathy is so intense that it’s hard for me to stop feeling about something that really moves me. Anyway, this movie and Sean Penn’s performance was so great and so inspiring!  I have talked about it for days.the-times-of-harvey-milk-1984_xvx_155434

Without going into the whole review of the movie (which I did on my initial posting of this topic), it had such an affect on me.

I wanted to discuss it, ponder it, question it.  Sean Penn did such a great job and I just couldn’t shake the movie out of my mind. 

To think there was such a conditional hatred toward homosexuals during those years just baffles my mind.  Anyway, watch the movie if you haven’t seen it.  I swear I’ve been talking about it for weeks and going on and on about the movie and Sean Penn (I’m not a typical fan).

So–yesterday, as I was standing at the front desk of the Malibu Gym…malibugymsteamroomwho walks in the door?  Sean Penn!

He had that familiar intense facial expression and there was no question, Sean Penn was in the house–standing in front of me!SeanPenn

Yes, it’s true, we do get a lot of celebrities at the gym but in my 20 years there, I had never seen Sean Penn.  Manifestations!!!

This is a powerful assurance of our worthiness–just more proof from the Universe that the people and things we are thinking and feeling about come into our reality. 

Yes, some would say the fact that he showed up is pure coincidence, I like to think it was my strong vibration that pulled him into my sphere.

On the same day, I experienced yet another magical manifestation.  On Sunday, a few days before this day,  I had gone to an art gallery opening and met an amazingly creative young man.  He takes items that have been thrown out–mostly furniture and books.  He creates and re-purposes them into various pieces–dressers, stools, chests, chairs, etc. 

They are so charming and gorgeous (www.onebooktree.com).  He is such a talented artist!

As I was admiring the items, I thought of my former client and friend, Rachel Ashwell.

Rachel is the creator of Shabby Chic.

She does similar things with all of her items, she goes to flea markets and gets shabby items and perks them up –not totally rebuilding them, but it is similar.

She has created a multi-million dollar business doing this.

The more time I spent with Devin, admiring his work, the more I pondered the possibility of introducing this young artist’s work to her, perhaps she could carry some of their items in her local Santa Monica Storefront.  It would be a great boost to their beginnings.

It has been about 3 years since Rachel and I have spoken or seen each other, but on this magical day before heading up the long windy canyon for my mountain bike ride, I stopped to get gas at the 76 station.shabbychicRachelashwell

Who was next to me at the pump?  Rachel Ashwell.  Manifestions!!!

Manifestations are proof from the Universe that you are worthy–that what you’ve been thinking and feeling about really can come into your physical reality.  Simply, manifestations are indications.   I had been thinking and feeling about Rachel Ashwell and Sean Penn a whole lot that week and they showed up.  These are messages for us to pay attention to what we think and feel about,  we just might get it!!!

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Good Vibrations!

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My dog decided to run out of the gate when it opened. 

This is something Sebastian has done before but always returns within 20 minutes. 

Usually, we just know he’ll be coming home soon and he does.  He just needs to run wild and get a thrill. 

This time though, after two hours had passed, I became a bit anxious.

I decided to cancel my Christmas party plans and stay home in case anyone found him and called the number on his tag.  No calls. 

My Facebook status up-date from the previous day was “Worry is a waste of your imagination”.  I was to be tested on this day!

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I kept seeing him, in my mind’s eye,  coming up to the gate and looking up into my eyes like he always does with that intent, sensitive, sweetness.  Unfortunately, I also had visions, although brief, of him being stuck in the canyon with Coyotes surrounding him or somewhere on the street involved with a car.

As quickly as those visions entered my mind, I pushed them out with visions of him looking into my eyes. 

I told my housemate that he was probably laying on a nice lawn somewhere just enjoying the moments.  She was doubtful but I had seen him do this on our walks so often that I held my vision there. 

I was hopeful but becoming more anxious as the hours passed.

Several hours had gone by now. 

After walking the neighborhood, driving the neighborhood and checking out the canyon behind the house, I had to go to sleep. 

At 5am, after 15 hours had passed, Sebastian arrived home.  My housemate let him in the house and I could hear the familiar running down the hallway.  I jumped up and ran into the hall.  “Is that him, is he here”?

As he had ran out the back door and heard my voice, he ran back in and looked at me with those eyes.  My vision came true!

I have no idea where he had been for 15 hours.  This was the first time he’d been gone for more than 20 minutes. 

I truly believe that my vibration and love for him, pulled him to me. 

I kept seeing and feeling his loving presence out there enjoying life and seeing his loving eyes staring up at me. 

I am so grateful that I used my imagination to see what I wanted to see instead of worry about what I didn’t want to see and waste my imagination on that!

Hold to your visions, feel the thrill of how it will feel when those visions emerge.  Feel the vibration–it’s Everything! 

 

Please Forgive Me

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I am at Peace.  My father is at Peace.  My father died a couple weeks ago.  I grew up without a father.  I only met him in person 4 times.

I was 10 when my mother drove us across Country from Michigan to California to visit him and meet him for the first time.

As a young girl who always wondered about her father, I was thrilled.  The next time I saw him I was 16, it was his parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary.

He invited me out to California to visit him anytime.  I thought he was so cool. 

In all my years growing up though, he never wrote me, sent cards, answered the  letters I wrote to him.  The older I got, the more I made that mean something about him and something about me.

I began to form all kinds of negative feelings toward him.

The third time I saw him was a few years ago.  I attended an intensive weekend–a world renowned event called the Landmark Forum.

The Landmark Forum helped me see that things happen to us and we have our own interpretation about what happened.  Those interpretations aren’t necessarily what really happened!

After years of no communication, I simply thought he didn’t care about any of his children.

I thought he had no conscience, I thought he was a bad person. 

However, after finishing The Landmark Forum, I contacted my father and we created a new relationship.  We let go of the constraints of the past and started from nothing–it was so freeing.

I realized, with his help, that there are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in between.  I learned a lot about my father in those few years.  I found lots of compassion for him.

Growing up he had gone to a total of 26 elementary schools.  TWENTY SIX!

His father had a job that kept relocating them.  Imagine how hard it would be to create lasting bonds with people.

He was young when he and my mother were together, he was still learning life and she and we were part of his learning.

He went on to have 3 more wives, and 2 more children in addition to the 5 he had with my mother.

In his last 22 years, he was married to Vicki.  She is an amazing woman and he raised her two kids from a very young age.  He confided in her everything about his life and she loved him deeply.  He was a great father for Linda and Michael and they loved and respected him all their lives.

Even so, he had so much regret and remorse over his past and he always shared with Vicki, the pain he carried with him.

Vicki understood him completely.  Just before he died, he was in a lot of pain the night before and kept waking Vicki and Linda.

Finally, come morning, he was calmer and he just kept telling them, “take my boots off”, “take my boots off.” 

They couldn’t figure out what he meant???

After my father died in Vicki’s arms, she realized what he had been referring to.

His very first child with my mom was Jay Ann.  She died of Leukemia at the age of 3. 

When he and my mom would bring her home from the hospital after getting a treatment, she would have extra energy and be full of fun and laughter.  She would go and slip her little feet into his big boots and run around.

He chased her and would say, “take my boots off”.  It was a joyful time for him…just to see her happy and full of life and energy.

My father was getting closer to that state of Pure, Positive, Energy that comes with passing.  He was happy and thrilled that he would be in that place with his first child Jay Ann.  The place is what we can all find glimpses of here, in this realm,  if we just try.

A place where there is no pain or guilt or judgment.  A place where there is only joy and vibrant energy.  A place, where if you learn to “let go” and forgive, you can be free.


I feel so fortunate to be able to say that I am at Peace with his passing.  I cleared my body of all the negativity that comes along with not being able to forgive.

Forgiveness is not something we give to the other person, it’s something we give to ourselves. 

Most importantly, I asked him to forgive me for all the judgments I made about him.

I came to know what compassion really is–the ability to see someone the way their Source sees them. Source=God=Infinite Intelligence.

My father was a good man.  He had so much going for him and I was able to see through all the veils I had in front of me regarding him and who he was.  We are all here doing the best we can and I feel fortunate to have been able to call him “Dad” later in life.

I AM AT PEACE!

Be Open

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One of my favorite affirmations these days is, “I AM OPEN TO EVERYTHING AND ATTACHED TO NOTHING”.

When I live with this intention, some of the most amazing things happen.

Last weekend, a series of events occurred that reinforce my belief in staying tapped in, tuned in, and turned on to the positive flow of energy all around us.

I had the opportunity to attend my high school reunion.  At first, I didn’t think I was going to go.

All the names of the people who RSVP’d were people that I didn’t hang out with in high school. They were all the jocks and I knew them but I didn’t have a strong bond with them. Then,  I thought I should put my name on the RSVP list so that I might attract some of the people I did hang out with.

When I arrived at the reunion, I studied the list of people who were inside the room already and not one of them stood out as someone I wanted to reconnect with.

This was not a good attitude and I decided to change it immediately.

I decided to go in and find out about people instead of go in and feel like I had no connection.  That is exactly what I did. I love finding out about people in general and I went into my interview mode. I loved it.

I had so much fun and started to feel a connection brewing.

Then, I noticed NOBODY was dancing. I grabbed a couple of women (who I did not know) and began dancing. We managed to recruit a guy out there with us who recruited another guy.

By the end of the night, as the song “Last Dance” by Donna Summer played (1978), almost everyone in the room was out there on the floor. I was glowing with joy.

Even though I didn’t really know these people in high school, I knew them now and created a connection out on that floor.

Later in the evening as I talked to one of the guys who had organized the event, I found out that his mother still kept in touch with his brothers widow. My very best friend from the age of 3 married his brother (his brother has since passed on). I haven’t spoken to her in a VERY long time. At the age of 16, she got caught up in a downward spiral of drugs and sex and I don’t know what else. We ended our friendship. We had been friends from the age of 3 until 16.

The long and the short of all of this is…I believe the reason I went to that reunion was not to dance the night away with a bunch of people I didn’t really know, but it was to get the number of my childhood soul mate. We were so close, we were so connected, we knew everything about each other and vowed to always be friends so it was extra devastating to have that end.  I always felt a deep empty space in my heart where Annette once lived.

I called my friend the next night (Johnnies mom gave me her phone number).

She has been clean and sober for 12 years now.

We exchanged our small talk and then really started to share ourselves with each other. We had so much in common, we were both on a clear spiritual path and we both cared about our health and well being.  It’s as if our life path’s reconnected at the perfect place.

She told me she had had a dream about me a few weeks earlier. She woke up from the dream feeling really good. Clear.

I asked her where she worked and when she told me the name of the restaurant–wow,  my mom and I had been in there about a month ago. It was a little out of the ordinary since it wasn’t a place near where we live. Then, she told me her first memory of me. The crazy thing is, I had been thinking about that incident it a–wondering if it really happened or.

We were 3 and 4 years old, throwing rocks to each other and she threw a rock at me and I have the scar to prove it on my forehead. I was never sure if that was how I got the scar….she confirmed that the memory was very vivid in her mind.

The 13 years we were friends growing up felt like a lifetime and the over 25 years we haven’t spoken didn’t even feel as long as the time we spent living life to the fullest in our childhood. We are friends again and we will always be friends now. My Thanksgiving couldn’t have been more perfect.

The moral of the story is…be OPEN TO EVERYTHING AND ATTACHED TO NOTHING. I wasn’t going to let the fact that I knew no one at my high school reunion stop me from attending. Had I been attached to the outcome of the reunion (a friend of mine thought I might meet the next love of my life), I would not have been open to the events that followed.

Imagine what I would have missed had I not gotten interested in others–I would have never found out about my long lost friend from her brother-in-law, Johnnie!

I have the first friend I’ve ever known in my life back in my life.annetteandtarayellowflowers

I AM AMAZED AT HOW THE UNIVERSE LINES THINGS UP FOR ME. I AM GRATEFUL! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!