Euphoria


“I am this trail.  I am these trees.  I am this rain. I am this breeze”.

These are the words I would repeat in my mind in an effort to take the pain in my knee away!

I was at about mile 2 of the Tough Topanga 10K when my Tensor Fasciae Latae seized up and made my knee throb in pain.  This is a hard,  tendinous muscle and when it’s tight, the  knee tracks incorrectly.

I knew that it was simply a tight tendon and I could calm it down later–I was determined to finish the race without walking, so I kept running through it.

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I decided, with all I’ve learned about the power of the mind,  I would put this to the test!

As a hiking guide, I tell this tip to many people who are having a hard time getting up the hill.  The mind chatter can sometimes take you down and,  I’ve discovered, there is a way up and around  all that discouraging chatter!

Instead of focusing on the pain, I turned my attention to the present moment and began my mental mantras to keep me there.

I AM THIS TRAIL

I AM THESE TREES

I AM THIS RAIN

I AM THIS BREEZE

I finished the run with ease.  Sure, I still had some pain but I didn’t feel it while I was running.

Fast forward about 2 months later and 20 miles up the coastline, I’m training a client at the Malibu Gym when one of the members asks, “hey Tara, did you run the Tough Topanga 10K back in May?”

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YES I DID.

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He continued, “I was the person at the finish line clicking all the times.  Of all the people I saw cross that finish line, you looked absolutely EUPHORIC–truly at EASE.”

Wow, how about that!

Even though I was in pain, I was able to take myself to my only point of power and be fully present.  I crossed the finish line looking euphoric and serene because I was in a vortex of energy in its most powerful form–the present moment!

There is something so amazing when you live in the present moment.  Magic and miracles happen there, I’m going to be hanging out HERE more often!

Their View Mirror


I have noticed something that I just keep getting clearer and clearer about it.  Every time I get down or go into a depression, it is almost always because I am viewing my life from someone else’s view of me.

To say it another way, I love my little life.  I live in a funky environment that is rare and doesn’t necessarily FIT into what society views as normal.  I absolutely devour my nights at home and LOVE my living situation.

Yet, there are times that I find myself depressed.  Lately I’ve been able to pinpoint why–it’s because I’m viewing my life from THEIR view of me.TARAreflecting

People say things to me that are so inappropriate and with such pity aimed at me.   Please don’t pity me just because I’m not living the life that you would live!  I am me and you are you–please consider that when you judge!

When I view my life from within, I am blissful and happy.

When I look through THEIR eyes, I become that poor pitiful person they see me as.

Really, I ask you, why does it have to look a certain way?  Why do our lives have to conform to everybody else’s way of living or society’s view of what a successful existence is?  It doesn’t, and the clearer I get about this, the more I thrive in my own reality.

“The older you get, the more you understand how your conscience works.  The biggest and only critic lives in your perception of people’s perception of you rather than people’s perception of you.”
― Criss Jami

Brilliant!

So, when it all comes down to it, I AM in charge of my thoughts and feelings.  When I feel what people are perceiving my life to be, I don’t have to allow those perceptions to permeate my being.

Our lives are our own and when we embrace them with a sense of wholeness, we thrive.

As Emerson said, “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”  God I love that.

So, this I say to myself and to you if you care to receive it:   our lives are our own and we get to decide what we value and what feels good–nobody else.  I suppose it is easier said than done but with some introspection and breath work within, we can come to the place where it really is okay REGARDLESS of what THEY think!BrightLightLantern

Safe and Secure? Not So Sure


Security is an illusion. 

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.”  Helen Keller

These are the words that ring in my mind when I think things seem too daring for me, I remind myself that security does not really exist and that avoiding danger is no safer than exposure.

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When at the precipice of anything new, there is always the urge to turn back and go to where our lives are comfortable and “secure.”

I’m venturing into a new realm of business, Digital Marketing!  I’m glad I reminded myself of Helen Keller’s sentiment because with anything in life, there are the balancing energies that cause a bit of fear and the desire to go back to when things SEEMED safe and secure.

Risk, vulnerability, and an overall letting go of concern for the future or the past, now that is a trick.  New love, new career paths, they’re always unsure.  Why not think and feel in the direction of hope and trust?

If we stay focused in “back then,”  we miss being here.  If we worry about what’s going to happen, we miss being here and now.

Trust, faith, and moving in the direction of the light are what I strive for.  If I listen to the concerns of society and some who spend most of their time in fear, I am bound to draw back in fear and doubt.  If I’m not careful, I’ll hear those concerns coming from my own mind chatter!

It reminds me of a piece I wrote, Pronoia.  Are we going to be paranoid and expect the worst to happen or are we going to turn paranoia upside down and expect the best!   https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/choose-pronoia/

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Yes, that’s what I choose.  I choose faith and I choose a daring adventure.

I choose the daring adventure, even when it gets scary and challenging because that’s just the illusion creeping in.

I told a friend, “I want to spend most of my time living in the realm of NOW, the space of being in the presence of God, the presence of Love, and the presence of what is possible.”   Amen!!!

Those times when I find myself wallowing in the “what is” consciousness, I wake up and fill myself with the knowing that there is no Security and that life really is a daring adventure that can start right now, if we allow it!

Goethe writes,   “Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.  Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it!”

 

 

Presence Is Power!


Did you know– Gratitude is THEE most powerful spiritual practice to cultivate.  I spend my days looking for beauty and I always find it!  I am grateful I can see beauty everywhere I look.IMG_0785

Recently I had lunch with a friend and her sister.  I really wanted to get to know her sister better since I had only met her briefly in the past.  Instead of engaging in conversation, she looked past me and judged every person that walked by behind me.  Granted, we were sitting in a restaurant on Venice Beach and that is quite the place to people watch–I’ll give her that.

At some point though, we need to BE with the people we’re with.  Every comment was cutting and critical.  It was hard to be in that space since most of the people I spend time with have realized that I don’t like to go there.  

Truly, I’m looking for the greatness in others because I know that will enhance who I AM.CriticsEncouragers

I want to be present with people, not tear them apart.

After too many non stop minutes of this, I decided to do what is the biggest NO NO these days–I picked up my phone, started taking pictures of the beauty around me, posting to Facebook.

I’m sure that was frowned upon but, truly,  I had to remove myself from all the negativity.VeniceBeachBeauty

Something I learned a long time ago, whenever you judge anything, you hold yourself apart from all the things you are wanting to be and do and have.  All the attention on “what’s wrong” just pulls more of “what’s wrong” into your life!

The other thing I know is that we are all part of the same stuff, let’s stop tearing ourselves and others apart and start celebrating the greatness within and beyond ourselves.

I want to be with people when I’m in their presence — I don’t want to judge everything that moves behind them!  It’s a practice, it’s an art–to become present in the moment and fully absorbed in that moment with no distractions.

Presence within ourselves and the presence within our fellow beings is where ALL the power resides but it’s only here NOW!  I’m going to celebrate NOW. Please, please, BE With Me Now!

Envy in Malibu


I have the privilege and honor of caring for people’s homes and animals while they are away.  One of the questions people always ask me is:

“Do you ever become jealous or envious when  caring for other people’s homes?Do you go into the comparison mode and wish you had more of this wealth and abundance.”

Am I envious? Absolutely not! Sure, there are times my mind wanders into that lower energy place of lack and feelings of unworthiness, but my work is to guide it back to the light.

Right now I feel like I’m on the set of  “Under The Tuscan Sun.”  I feel so fortunate to be in this space.  I admire the beauty of it all and I enjoy the responsibility while I’m here but I also enjoy the freedom of my regular life when I’m at home.JacksonsCastle

This will sound bazaar to most, but I never really wanted the responsibility of owning my own home.  I wanted to feel free to go anywhere in the world without being tied down by the physical responsibility of a house.  What can I say, I was young and that’s how I felt.  Now, that’s exactly where I’m at in my life today.

I live in an “out of the ordinary” environment and one of my living spaces resembles a log cabin.  Interestingly, a log cabin is also what I once dreamed of living in.IMG_0244

 Today, though, I’m here in Malibu– enjoying this blissful space and reaping the rewards within right now.  The rewards really are within! And the rewards really are right now!

 

The question really isn’t “what can I get”, the question is “what can I let”–what can I let into my soul that will bring me joy and peace and beauty and ease.  I don’t have to GET anything to feel those feelings.

Feelings transport me into  a high-flying place where bliss is all I see and hear and feel.  Beautiful chimes mixed in with the sound of real raw wind whipping through the palm trees and a fountain dripping below.  I sit and watch and feel the beauty within and there is something so simple about that. All power is in the present moment and I am anchored in the here and now.Blessings

When all is said and done, I remember my favorite quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

Feeling Freedom


I’m having a hard time finding words for all of the feeling–I caught a glimpse of it this last week.  

I felt safe and secure, deeply safe and secure, yet all the indicators in the physical world would not convince you of my security.IMG_0146

I live week to week.    I have no savings account and I am deeper in debt than I care to convey.

Now, knowing that, you’d think I walk around in fear and doubt and worry all the time.  You’d think I cut up my credit cards and cut myself off from everything I want.

Wrong!

I enjoy life and try to live with total ease and joy–regardless of my financial situation.  Life is more than money–life is energy!

More important than the status of my financial books is the FEELING of freedom.  Freedom comes from feeling not from having.  

The soul wants to experience life it isn’t interested in accomplishments!

Yes, while there are times I yearn for a “real” job that pulls in “real” money, for the most part I am happy to be living this life I’m living.  I enjoy freedom and yes, even multiple streams of income.  Just when I think there is no more money to pay the bills, I get another check from an unexpected job and it always seems to arrive at the opportune time.

At the depth of this feeling, is pure knowing that everything will always be okay.  It always is.  Everything always works out for me.IMG_0492

 

As Donya Ture’ writes in her book, Free Falling Into Your Higher Self, “The logic behind your free fall into a new belief system is because you realize that there is no wordily explanation for life and therefore the impossible, the mystical or even the magical must actually be possible.”

Now, I’m clear that some will say I’m just an idiot and that I should be planning for my retirement and I should be planning to get out of debt and I should be planning to be wealthy.   Planning, planning, planning!

I say, “screw your plans.”  Life is truly about living  NOW.  Having said that,  it is true, I am simply soothing myself and the situation I am in rather than focusing on what’s wrong with it.  I have nothing against planning for the future.  I am happy though.

All of the warnings I receive feels like a fear based way of being.  I don’t want to feed the fear.

I want to bask in the feelings of enoughness, fullness, all that is– wellness!

So, that’s what I will do.  It will be challenging because of the world I live in.  Every way I turn, there will be more INFORMATION to remind me how irresponsible I’m being.  My work, no, my JOY will be to transcend those thought forms, those limiting beliefs and just BE.  I AM WAKING UP from the reality that I have created in the past.  Glimpses of awakening are soooooooo sweet!

Life is so full.  It’s full of a vastness that, once experienced, is irresistible and intoxicating.  I want to spend more time there!IMG_1167

The sweetest twist of all of this are the experiences that show up.  The more I anchor myself in this knowing, the more opportunities arise–they already have!  This is a vibrational Universe, when you raise your vibration by looking for beauty, finding ways to appreciate and have gratitude for the wonders around you, those feelings will draw similar experiences to you.  And who knows, maybe in the form of money!  Money IS energy and it’s always circulating in my midst.

No, I don’t chase money any longer.  Instead I chase the present moment where everything thrives if we will allow it.

 

Money is NOT the source of happiness.  Freedom does not come from having money, BUT having money may just come from feeling FREEDOM!

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I BELIEVE.  I TRUST.  I LET GO. 

 

 

Lessons In Time


Reflecting

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

My mom will be 80 years old this year.  Anyone who knows my mom, knows she is one strong woman–she had to be!  As a single parent with 4 kids, she had to be strong and responsible.  It seems she never missed a beat.

It’s no surprise that us Jeter women are all very strong, assertive, and independent, we learned from the best!  Lately though, I’ve found myself wanting to be a bit less assertive–somewhat more yielding and accepting.

Women’s liberation was big when I was growing up.  I remember the Helen Reddy song,  “I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!”  It seems like most of the women in my life have that strength.  Women tend to be very strong by nature–able to endure so much life experience.IMG_2369

What is my point?  Well, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just lighten up a bit.  Wouldn’t it feel…

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20 Years of Epic! (Well, now it’s 25 years)!


BirdsCloudsThis month marks my 20th year of mountain biking!  I’ll never forget the first time I rode up Palisades Drive on my mountain bike–my former husband was way ahead of me and all I could do in my mind was beat myself up!

“Sure, he’s way ahead of me, his father was a 9 Letterman in high school so he’s got the genes.  My father was a bowler!”  Not that there’s anything wrong with bowlers, it’s just that the sport doesn’t lend itself to huffing and puffing up a hill.

My lungs and my legs were burning–I was sweating profusely and my head felt like it was about to explode!

I did find out that Sean’s legs and lungs were burning too.   He felt pain and humiliation similar to me–his body was not functioning with ease.  It was hard!happy tara on voodoo

The good news is that today I rode up the same hill, instead of beating myself up, I was actually enjoying the ride.  My legs and lungs weren’t burning–it wasn’t easy but it was more of a pleasant ride up the hill, certainly not as bad as that first day 20 years ago!

Everything is a process.  I’ve learned how to just go with the flow and be in the middle of whatever fire may be burning.  I’ve ridden up that hill hundreds of times now and that alone takes the anxiety away.  Anything you do as a beginner, for the first time, can produce anxiety and just feel hugely hard to endure.

I caught the attention of another biker when I rode around the pole that separates  the dirt trail from the road,  “Wow, I saw you maneuver around that pole and I was very impressed,”  he said.  “I’ve been riding for a year now and I’m afraid my pedals will get all caught up and I’ll fall.”

“Ah yes, that pole,” I assured him,   “I was afraid of that pole for a very long time before I actually attempted to make my way around it.  I would get off my bike and walk the bike through and just notice how much room there was as I walked through.  Then, one day I had the guts to give it a try!”

I then shared that this month marks my 20th year riding.  “Wow, 20 years, can you give me any tips?”

I wanted to share more than a couple of tips but I also wanted to get on with my ride–two pieces of advice that worked for me–“keep your eyes on where you are wanting to go, not on the ruts because your bike will tend to follow your eyes.”  That tip works for life too!

The other tip is what one of my fellow racers told me after a race when I asked,  “how do you stay on the bike, I keep crashing?”  She said, “It’s just Time In The Saddle–you just gotta go through it, to get to it.”

I remember, at the time, I didn’t like hearing it.  I wanted to just be great NOW, be proficient NOW,  and not have to deal with the growing pains.  Now, 20 years later, I get it.  TIME IN THE SADDLE!

I continued on with my epic ride–after not being on the bike for about a month– I went a bit slower than I would normally pedal up the hills, but I was out there in the middle of all the wonder and the glory!IMG_0144a

I chose a loop that isn’t just up to the top then down, it was up then down and up and down and up some more.  Then the final descent was fast and technical and since it was a Saturday, there were lots of hikers out there, it took even more skill in handling the bike down those hills since my path was narrowed even more by the hikers!

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People have always been supportive as I ride by them UP a hill–they say things like, “wow, you’re strong,”  and their mouths drop open in awe as I fly by them DOWN the hill and there is no time to speak.

Talk about EMPOWERING!  No, I don’t ride to get their approval or their admiration, but it is kind of nice to receive.

Yes, mountain biking is one of the hardest activities I’ve ever tackled.  I remember the first time we saw someone riding up a fire road on a mountain bike, we thought, “this guy is crazy.”  Not long after that, we became crazy!

It is fun reflecting, it is fun feeling a difference from the very first time up that hill.  It is so empowering being out in the day, flying through the air with a skill that took time to develop.

If there’s something you want to take on, go for it.  You’ll be able to look back one day and remember what it took to get to where you are and you’ll feel pride, you’ll feel freedom.  We are a force of energy, we might as well use it to bring us thrill, pleasure, and joy.  Namaste’

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A Frustrating Force


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As the woman in the 3rd car behind me laid on her horn for a good minute, I smiled to myself, I was once that obnoxious driver.

I had a form of road rage–when drivers didn’t drive correctly, I let them know about it!  Well, not really, I just yelled and screamed inside my car to myself.

The constant insults I hurled at all the other stupid drivers had to stop!

I never held up my fingers or yelled out the window, but inside my car, I could not recognize myself.  I was not a pleasant person.

I remember feeling so bad about what had just come out of my mouth toward another driver that I thought, “what if my sweet, elderly client, Charlotte were witnessing my behavior right now–she would not recognize me!”

This had to stop, I  felt possessed by a frustrating force!

“How can you be so stupid–don’t you know the left lane is for cars to pass not for you to go slow in.”

“You idiot, turning left on a double yellow line (while I laid on the horn for dramatic effect).”

It took me quite some time to get it all under control.  Probably the biggest aid in my rage recovery was taking The Landmark Forum (http://www.landmarkworldwide.com).

The Landmark Forum is a weekend intensive transformational seminar that can unlock some of the patterns and behaviors that hold you back from being the truest,  most joyful being that you can be!

I remember their definition of “being peaceful”–give up the story that there’s something wrong here.

At first glance, you think, “yeah right”…

One exercise was pretty simple–we shared with a partner one of our biggest frustrations.  For me, it was behaving very badly as a driver.  By continuing to tell the story over and over to your partner what it was that frustrated me while driving, after so many times it just sounded so silly.

I would tell these detailed stories about what he did that was stupid and how it affected me. Over and over and over…

It really is just a story.

Give up the story that there’s something wrong here!  It may sound super simple, but that was a big breakthrough for me.

It was all just a story–the story I told myself about all the idiot drivers out there.

The more I gave up the story in my car, while driving, the less I noticed the stupid drivers in my vicinity.  Even if there were stupid drivers, I began to let it go.  It was simply the story I told myself.

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We get to choose what story we tell ourselves about ANYTHING!  I wanted to feel joy and ease for my entire day, not feel the fierce frustration that always occurred while driving.

Tonight (years later) as I was driving down a residential street that had cars parked on both sides of the street but there was still enough room for 2 cars to travel, the driver coming from the other direction laid on his horn as if I was taking up too much space.

He was angry.  His face was all snarled up and he was miserable.  This man was elderly and had a severe case of rage.   I just smiled and felt free–free from the stress that he so clearly has carried every time he gets in his car.

That’s something I noticed years ago–how the older people were some of the angriest drivers I’d ever seen.  I keep those images in my mind to remind me of what I don’t want to become!

Imagine if you could let go of that rage, let go of those judgments, let go of the blame and ridicule.  Imagine how you would feel  without all those emotions weighing you down!

Give up the story there’s something wrong here.

Reach for ways to feel better, and I promise you, you will attract more experiences that feel better.

Frustration is a force that is finding its way out of my body.  Little by little, as I focus on what’s beautiful, the frustration falls away.

I actually get into my car and feel ease while driving.  I enjoy my drive wherever it takes me because I’ve got a calm and loving force that lives inside me–a force that I’m in charge of.  I get to choose how I feel and I choose peace!

Trash Talk


I’m not really sure what to say.I’ve been hiking in these Malibu trails for 23 years. I am sad to say that the last couple of hikes on one of the sweetest trails in Malibu was so full of garbage that I vowed to bring a garbage bag for the next time I hiked it.

Sure enough, I got a load full of trash on this hike.

People come to these trails because they’ve read it as a recommended trail somewhere. The people who come are in search of a getaway from the city and I assume they revere the trails in a similar way that I do–just can’t seem to wrap my head around why they would be so careless with their trash?

Water bottles, cigarette butts, candy wrappers, and more.  Is it because they’ve never been taught not to litter?  Or is it that they just don’t care?

Whatever the reason, I have a hard time just walking by.

So, the next time you are out on one of our fabulous trails and you spot some garbage, please set an example and pick it up.  Perhaps others will follow your lead and we will no longer have people who disrespect such a beautiful place.Tara and the coastline

Caught Up!


People are really caught up in the appearances of it all. 

Just the other day, my friend that I’ve known, more than half my life,  made a comment that threw me for a loop!

We had just walked past  Owen Wilson in a coffee shop–I made eye contact and he said hello (this is about the 3rd time I’ve seen him and he has seen me out and about in Malibu).  My friend and I  had these fantasies that he was actually interested in chatting with us further and that perhaps he kept his eye on us as we left.  Ha!OceanOwen

Anyway, as we approached my car (my 14-year-old car with peeling paint), she stopped short and said, “wait, I can’t let him see me.”  I wasn’t sure what she meant and it took me a minute to figure it out–she was embarrassed to get in my car!

Wow, gosh, golly and gee–I thought I knew this friend!

I don’t know, who wants to be with someone, anyone, who judges us by the car we drive?  It just seems so foreign to me these days.  BUT, sadly, it is truly the norm.

Yes, it might be nice to get into my brand new chocolate-brown Tesla, but I can assure you, it won’t change who I am.  If someone chooses not to associate with me because I drive a 14-year-old car,  I wouldn’t want them in my life anyway.

What a thrill I had when I read this quote by Owen Wilson:

“I don’t like caring what other people think, but I do. There’s a freedom when you meet someone who doesn’t care, who is just themselves in all situations.  To just be yourself, and not try to sell anything, or make a good impression, that’s something worth striving towards.”

I will continue to strive.

Learning A New Body Language


If your body could learn a new language that could supersede everything you’ve ever believed about health and all the limits we set up around it, would you want to know about it?

What if you had an energetic intelligence within you that would allow you to transcend all of your physical ailments?  Would you be interested in learning it?

What if I told you that your body already knows it, you just need to tap into it to re-learn it.IMG_0508

Greg Jeter is a licensed NSA practitioner.  Trained first as a Chiropractor, then seeing the magic in this work that can be best described as “energy work”, focuses his entire practice on energy, with an occasional physical adjustment.

Greg is a facilitator, a bridge if you will, to help your body tap into the field of self healing.  “It’s all about finding the tension and the open areas and merging them into an energy that moves and flows into a feeling of ease and perfect health that is connected to all that is.”gregAglow

Dr Oz said on a recent Oprah episode, “As we get better at understanding how little we know about the body, we begin to realize that the next big frontier is energy medicine.”

WE ARE ENERGY!

If that sounds  “other wordly”– I can assure you,  that’s how it feels to receive it.

When I received my first session, I  didn’t want it to end.  I felt a rhythm and a vibration moving through me that is ultimately indescribable.

Some of the comments by long time practice members who receive regular work could make you a bit curious about the seeming magic of this work:

“Loving myself absolutely as I have never loved myself before–felt the omnipotence that babies feel”

“Felt like I had a heart orgasm–had the experience of what it must feel like to be a fish swimming in water”

“absolute joy”

“felt my spine had perfect posture”

“felt as if I was holding the love of the world & the suffering of the world all at the same time”

“felt the VOID of awareness–words really can’t describe what happens but it is like a deep meditative place that connects me to a world that is beyond the material, conscious realm”

You may feel results from the very first session but you will want to continue to regular sessions, since the tension is fuel for transformation.  Once your body learns this language, it will want to speak it and experience it at regular intervals!

Enjoy the process–YOU ARE WORTHY!

To experience the future of medicine, contact Sacred Ground at: (510) 856-0036

Located in the heart of Weed, CA,  the office also offers Massage Therapy, Hypnotherapy and Tattoos!  Weed is one town before Mt. Shasta and a visit to both places would be exhilarating! Sacred Ground is located at 51 Main Street Weed,Ca.
(510) 331-4653

Angels Among Us


I just watched an episode of  “The Best of Oprah”  all about angels in our midst.

It was from the 90’s and I’m so glad I saw it.  So often, over the years I thought that perhaps I had just imagined an incident that happened in my younger years.

Anyway, today as I watched and listened to the stories recounted, I realize that I, too, was  lifted by one of my many angels or maybe even by the hand of God.  Yes, until just now, I’ve never  really acknowledged that I have angels.  I just always thought it sounded weird.

There are angels all around us…if we but see.DescriptionOfAngels

In 1979 I had an incident happen that I’ve never spoken about.  I knew that it happened but it was so bizarre that I never shared it with anyone!

I was 19– I went to a wedding with a young man I was dating.  He was this strong, muscular, gorgeous, italian man.  He had the most magical name to say– Gino Salvatore Finazzo!  He always had women coming onto him while I stood there watching.

He was very smooth and sweet and would just slither away when necessary.  On this particular night, Gino was surrounded by a few women on the other side of the room while I was alone at the table.  There was a young man at the wedding paying some attention to me.  We stepped outside and smoked a joint together.  What I didn’t know at the time, was that this young man was Gino’s arch rival–a real ladies man himself.

So there I was, thinking, “gosh, why shouldn’t I talk to this guy, Gino’s off talking with some women on the other side of the room and I’m by myself.”

Well– that was the end of that night!  He loaded me into the car and drove my ass home, he was infuriated!

We drove FAST down Southfield, with emotions hot and silent.  I kept trying to reason with him and help him see my side of the night.  He would not speak!

We came upon a car on the side of the road that was sticking out into the lane.

It happened so quickly that all I can say is our car actually went through the car on the side of the road.  There was no impact or effect, we had just passed through this car–like liquid gas.  Fluidity.

I saw it.  I felt it.quiet_fluidity_18dn962-18dn965

I’m not sure if Gino saw it and I would never know because he dropped me off and was out of my life forever.  He never spoke to me again.  He would have been the only witness to what happened.

For several years, as I’ve grown personally and become more aware of the amazing natural and supernatural world we live in,  I’m sure now that I encounter Angels frequently and I get connected to the ALL THAT IS on a regular basis.

Look, feel, get quiet–those are simple yet powerful keys to connecting into the other realms that are clearly NOT out of this world!

I Am A Mystic


I am a mystic.  I never fully understood the meaning of the word until recently.  It always rang in my mind as something of magic–maybe even a little dark in its meaning.

I heard the Sufi teacher, Llewellyn Vaughn Lee,  define a mystic as: someone who wants to completely lose themselves in God until there is only that divine consciousness, being, oneness–no separation.  

I like that.

IMG_1167

Or, the definition that suits me precisely at this time in my life is:  a person who perceives and comprehends divine mysteries.

Most people have a different idea of what a “mystic” is.  I know I did.  Simply hearing these definitions made me feel like I belonged to it and that felt great.

I Am A Mystic!

I perceive and comprehend so many mystical experiences  almost on a daily basis.  I yearn for them and when I don’t have one in a day, I remind myself to let go long enough for the next one to happen.

Yesterday,  as I waited at a light, I watched the people crossing the street.  A good-looking guy caught my eye but he had a snarly kind of frown on his face.

I told myself not to judge too quickly. Maybe he was in his head thinking about a challenging situation. Who knows, he may be very spiritual and sweet.

Then, I heard Michael Beckwith’s voice in my mind, “see with the eye behind the eye, feel with the heart behind the heart…”

I realized my music wasn’t on the whole time I’d been in the car– I love my Michael Beckwith Transcendance CD (https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/products-i-highly-recommend/)

As I looked down at my phone, the time said 11:11.  I turned on the power for the CD and the words that came out were, “see with the eye behind the eye, feel with the heart behind the heart.”

aglow at the gazebo

That is a mystical experience–magical, perfect timing!

You may say, “that’s just a coincidence, and what’s the big deal.”    Well,  I claim it as a bright,  synchronistic event of today.  Magic and miracles abound!  When we can witness the smallest mysteries, bigger and more amazing mysteries are on the way!  Trust me, I have big stories that unfold synchronistically, but to share them all would be like reading a book!

This happened to me this morning.  I was dreaming, dreaming about my former husband.  I don’t remember any specifics just that his energy was in my dream–it felt very comforting.

All of a sudden, my Bose radio alarm (which I’ve never set and don’t even know how to set) started playing the song, “Lovesong” by The Cure…”I will always love you…however near or far, I will always love you.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62Kwhe2Ng0w)

It was the perfect song to put music to how I was feeling.  Feeling that no matter how far apart we are now, I will always love him and I know the feeling is mutual.  What we had was pure, unconditional love. Unfortunately, we allowed complacency and rigidity to take hold of us. We stopped growing and took each other for granted.

That doesn’t mean we can’t always love someone. We’re friends. He’s the person who has known me the longest (other than my best friend growing up and my siblings).

There are no nasty, small-minded words between us.

Anyway, the way the dream and the music met was perfect.

That is a mystical experience.

I am a mystic.  I see and feel mysterious and magical manifestations that the Universe is conspiring on my behalf!

It’s fun noticing.

Pathetic Paparazzi!!!


I experienced my first run in with the paparazzi–it was such a mixture of bad emotions!PPAPPARAZA

About a month ago, I experienced it from a close distance and felt this severe sense of intrusion.  I was jolted.

I was having lunch with a friend in a Brentwood restaurant when all of a sudden, 5 men with huge camera lenses were running into position outside the entrance clicking away.  It was loud and a huge disruption, it felt really bad to me.  It almost felt like they had big guns.paparazzi

I started thinking how awful it must be to not be able to go into a store and walk back to your car without some intruder in your face!

Today, while leading a hike for a drug & alcohol treatment center, I encountered direct experience with the paparazzi.IMG_0785

One of the clients there is a  major celebrity who has had so many run ins with paparazzi throughout her career  As we walked down onto a neighborhood street in Malibu to get to another trail entrance up about a block, we noticed a car that kept driving by and turning around.

The celebrity client immediately became stressed and anxious–she did not want to be photographed.  I could feel her energy and started feeling the same way!  This is when being empathic does not feel good!   It troubled me deeply.Papparazz

I went into protection mode–it’s just my default reaction to a threat, I don’t get weak and become submissive, I get strong and become assertive and protective.  In light of that, I remained quite calm.

I blocked her as we walked by him so that he couldn’t look at her directly.  He acted as if he was going to the beach with his beach towel, but we saw the huge camera  on the passenger seat.

The myriad of emotions that I felt was intense.   Here is a person who is working on being better and she can’t even go and just BE without some creep up in her business!   To think that activity is allowed and legal is just plain wrong!

Some of the other male residents were combative toward him while I just maintained this wall of strength.

As we walked up the trail entrance,  there was some verbal exchange between the camera ass and the celebrity, “awe, come on,  you owe me one, we’re friends”.  She replied, “I don’t owe you anything!”

While one of the other residents was wanting to fight with the guy, the camera ass said, “Yeah, we can take care of that when you get to the parking lot, I’ll meet you up there –I know where you’re going to end up.”

Well, what he didn’t know is that I know alternative ways out of that trail system!IMG_0795

We played a little trick on them and avoided any further interaction.  I sent the drivers of the trucks in the direction they were expecting, then I took the group to a section of the trail that is mounded in the corner that happens to be next to a street.  I found the trucks and waved them back to my  hiding spot.

It was so great to see them after I successfully got the clients shusshed away and on the road.  They were so perplexed–they just couldn’t figure out where we were. Hah!

Anyway…

Some people I’ve shared this topic with say, “well those celebrities signed up for it, they’re gonna have to live with it”.

 They didn’t sign up for that kind of intrusion! 

They signed up for the red carpet flashes and thrills but not to have annoying people follow them around  in their personal lives with a camera!

I am very empathic and I felt this deep deep pain that I’ve never felt before.  For the most part, their lives look luxurious and glamorous but, ultimately, they are prisoners in their own home.

I have no ties or connection to any celebrities so this isn’t a biased opinion, this is a pure “feeling” experience.  Going through that did not feel good, it was bizarre and unsettling.

How can we make this totally unacceptable and illegal?

Just this week, I heard about Jennifer Garner and Halle Berry’s support for the Senate bill 606 to make it illegal for paparazzi to take photos of children of hollywood stars.

http://www.newsmax.com/thewire/halle-berry-jennifer-garner-paparazzi-kids/2013/08/15/id/520527

I believe all paparazzi (un-invited photographers) should be illegal.

Being Bliss


I had the most blissful day today.  It wasn’t anything I did in particular, it was just one big   bliss filled day!aglow at the gazebo

I think the reason was because I wasn’t really in my head, I was in my body–feeling!

If I were to rattle off all the activites I did during the day, you’d think, “what the heck is she talking about–how can all that be blissful?”  Things like, scrubbing my tub, vacuuming, bathing the dogs, riding my bike, spending time in my office, doing laundry…

These things, in and of themselves, do not produce blissful feelings.  It was who I was being while doing these things.IMG_1167

I wasn’t thinking!

I was feeling.

I think when we let go of all the thoughts that keep us chained to the past or anxious about the future, we can be present.

When you have presence, you have bliss!

Hawk Feather


So, today, I found my Hawk feather I’ve been longing for (https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/feathers-find-me/)

I was riding my mountain bike, huffing and puffing up a hill when I came upon a pile of horse shit with a very unique feather in the middle of it.photo-8

As I rode past it, I realized it was a feather I did not have yet and the last time I passed up a hawk feather, I was very upset with myself (see: https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2010/10/18/feathers-find-me/)

So, I turned around, got off my bike and picked the feather out of the pile of shit.

Sometimes you gotta dip into some shit in order to get the golden goods!

Time Passages!


It’s a thrill to know that someone from over 30 years ago was thinking of me today, remembering me, speaking about me fondly. 

I got a message from one of my Facebook friends.  She is the daughter of my very first boss!

Tino, my boss who I haven’t been in touch with in almost 30 years, had some blinds installed in their home today.  As he and his wife talked to the young man who installed the blinds, he discovered that Tino was the co-owner of Howard’s Drugs in Livonia, MI.

That was the connecting fuse.  Paul ( a young man I dated briefly) knew me when I worked at Howard’s.

What’s very cool is, now I am going to be in touch with the very first boss I ever had!

For years, after leaving Howard’s to go out and explore new horizons,  I would always pop in every few months and just stay in touch.

It was hard to let those connections go!IMG_0508

Tino and Dennis (the Pharmacists and Co-Owners) were such a formidable part of  my growing up.  I started working there when I was 17.  I worked my way up as a cashier of the tobacco and candy counter  to the pharmacy where I worked for 6 years.  I learned a lot about life there in that pharmacy!

After several years of popping in and catching up though, they sold the store and there was something so sad and empty inside me–that I couldn’t go and see people that were once a part of my life, really a part of my growing up!  Home base.17yroldTara

Sometimes I feel that way about all of my past relationships.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could  just “catch up” with everyone we ever knew and loved?  Well, maybe not everyone!

Facebook  has added a depth and richness to my life, we really are fortunate to live in this time–this would never have been relayed to me without my Facebook friend connection!

In his email reply,  hearing from me after all these years Tino said,  “I tell you I got just as excited as your old friend Paul– when he came running back in the house and said, “I was in love with Tara” and I said, “we all loved Tara.”  We both enjoyed the moment!

Think about it.  Life is  long.  We touch lots of lives and go through many stages and take all kinds of paths.  To hear that someone from all those years ago is remembering you, talking about you, wondering about you — makes you…transcendent!TaraPikeMarket

Can’t think of any other word to describe it.

I

You

We…

Transcend Time!

We go BEYOND the limits of time!tara-and-the-coastline.jpg

There’s just something so sweet about that.  Even though people are gone from our lives, they are still part of our lives and we are still part of theirs. Our soul is our home.

I’m not sure if it’s just that I’m a very reflective person or if it happens to everyone, but so many people pop into my conscious thoughts and memories.  Mostly just flashes, but it’s enough of a flash to be a thrill.

Yes,  I do believe I’m living my heaven on earth when I have those flashes–all the best characters of my life  visit me everyday.  Thank you!

Degrees of Forgiveness?


Forgiveness is power.

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Recently, I’ve had the “forgiveness” conversation with people.

I’ve heard a common theme that troubles me.

People seem to have varying degrees of forgiveness.  It seems that some things are acceptable to forgive yet others are not so acceptable.  Gosh, that doesn’t sound like forgiveness to me.2012-02-19 11.59.27

I was telling someone that I was going to a friend’s  house to watch the movie  “Powder”.  I had watched it the first time in 1995, the year that it was released,  and remembered what an impact it had on me.

She exclaimed, “I won’t watch THAT movie because a child molester was the Director of it”.

Gosh, I know that being a child molester is not acceptable AT ALL, but must we always carry that with us and NEVER forgive a person?

Are there degrees of forgiveness?  Are there some things we just shouldn’t forgive?  I’m troubled by the rigidity of that!

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Feathers Find Me


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

IMG_0943It’s amazing the thoughts and beliefs we hold onto.

Even long after we are adults and can clear the clutter of the limiting beliefs we’ve been taught, there are still some beliefs that hang on.

Lately I have been walking by lots of feathers lying on the ground.  One of the things my mom told me when I was very young was, “don’t pick up feathers because they may have lice”.  That is something that, until recently, I listened to and obeyed.

IMG_0962Feathers, though, are one of the most powerful animal totems.  If you’ve read the book, “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews, you know that feathers are considered gifts from the divine.

Feathers have long been associated with the wind, the mind, new flights, and a direct connection to divine forces.

Ted Andrews says, “as you begin to study and honor the birds you encounter, you will find yourself being gifted…

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The Hike of Your Life


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

The hike of your life…

If you’ve ever gone on a long, hot, arduous hike, you know how closely it relates to life.   Sometimes it’s really high and challenging and other times it is low, boring and mundane. Life is a lot like a hike!EagleRock

One hike stands out in my mind. I was leading a hike for the residents of a drug and alcohol treatment facility. 

The residents are adjusting to a lot so, naturally, they aren’t always pleasant and cooperative.

One woman on the hike was almost always complaining.  She only wanted to go on hikes that started with a steep up hill. Anything that didn’t start hard wasn’t enough for her, she wanted to work hard and enjoyment was not part of the plan for her.

This hike was such a lesson for all involved.  We started out and the trail was muddy.  It had just…

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California Dreams–Letting Go!


I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”! 

I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.MeetupPhoto

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 23 years now.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby and I feel as if California is in my bones.  I love this place, it is so magnificent!

Where else can you go to the beach then take a 2 to 5 hour drive and be in the mountains with snow?  Everywhere I go here, I feel at home.

California!  I’ve been up and down the coast and everywhere I go is total bliss.  It really is no wonder that people want to visit here, let alone move here.  If you knew what we had to endure in Michigan, you would have a heart and be okay with us being here.  While it is true, there are lots of people and cars, how can you blame them all?  This a a gorgeous place!

I remember one of the women at the gym complaining about all the cars flooding from the valley to go to the beach.  She said, “vals, go home, we don’t want you here”. 

It’s funny, I thought to myself, she moved here from Ontario Canada–who is she to talk?  Vals are the people who live in the San Fernando Valley.  It is a good 15-25 degrees hotter than on the beach.  Gosh, they deserve to enjoy the beach.  I can see it from both sides, though.  When I spend most of my time up and down the coast because I work in Malibu and live in Brentwood, there can be a huge amount of traffic in the summer months because of everyone flooding to the beach.  It’s all good though, we’re just enjoying where we get to live and play!IMG_0920

I enjoy where I live and play every day.  Today, as I drove the stretch of PCH that takes me to my long time place of work, The Malibu Gym, I marveled at the beauty of Point Dume’ in the distance.

Honestly, I don’t think there has been one day in the 23 years I’ve been driving that coast that I haven’t been in awe of the sight of it when I see it. IMG_0785

I do wonder, how is it possible to love a place so much?

The month of June, 2014 marks 23 years of living in California.  From the age of 10, I spent 20 years dreaming of living in California.onewiththetrailtara

Some might say it became everything I focused upon.

The DJ in the college cafeteria only had to see me and know that it was time to play my song, “California Dreamin”.  Class after class of teaching, I always ended in the relaxed visualizing mode and saw myself here, happy and vibrant!  Then, after years of postponing my move either because of school or a job or a boyfriend,  I made it happen.  I had dreamed and visualized and listened and dreamed some more and then I moved to California.

I had no car, no job, no place to live–I just had to be here once and for all.

So many dreams came true for me.  I live the lifestyle I lived when I lived in Michigan.  I lived it in my own little world there because my environment didn’t really support it.

Today, I am surrounded by health food stores, healthy restaurants,  nature abounding everywhere I turn, near perfect weather, people I adore and so much more!

I love the life I’ve created.  I ride my bike, I hike the trails, practice yoga at my choice of a plethora of studios.  I live in a neighborhood that simply must be one of the prettiest in the country. fuscia flowersAbundance surrounds me in every direction I turn.  I am worthy of it all because I brought it to life with my visions and my strong desire.

Now, after 23 years of fully embracing and loving this place, I had the thought of letting it go.

Let it go and move onto something different.  I am open to that.  Montana seems to be pulsing in my radar these days.  Colorado is another place calling to me although the thought of the Winter months don’t really appeal to me.   Hawaii could work for me.  Wyoming is a mystery to me still. Or, I could stay here and just keep living it in the blissful fashion I’ve carved out for myself.

The feeling I had, though, when I let go of the need to be here and the need to stay here was so freeing.  pacific palisades hike

By letting go, we simply surrender to either something better or keeping that which we have.  It was obvious I had been clinging to being here.  I could feel such a total sense of freedom when I just let go.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? “I am open to everything and attached to nothing”.  That sounds like a good plan.  I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say it many years ago and until you experience it in one area of life, you won’t really know how good it feels.

I am feeling this way in several areas of life and it feels like a dream–as  good as the California dream I had all those years ago!purple passion point dume

Dilapidated Dreams


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Have you ever driven by a business that was once thriving and now it is dilapidated because of neglect?  In your memory,  it was busy and successful– the place was always maintained with the utmost care and cleanliness; there were  customers bustling in and out  and it was alive and thriving.  Then, years later, you drive by to see an establishment that has been abandoned.

That’s what happened today when I drove by the old Chevron station in Malibu.  It is now infused with weeds, cracked cement, and an old wire fence surrounding it.  The sight of it just hit me really hard.

I guess what  moved me was that it can be a metaphor for our lives, our health, and our dreams.

Unfortunately, some people do this very thing with their  health–they just stop the upkeep.  They decide to just let it go and discontinue maintenance of the premises.

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Love IS– My Sister Valorie!


It really does seem true–the people we’ve known and loved the longest seem to be taken for granted the most!

Well, let me tell you about my sister Valorie!

Screen Shot 2013-04-10 at 8.42.18 PM

Our bond started early, she spoke for me.

I’m not sure when I did start talking but my mom had to have a real serious talk with Valorie because whenever someone asked me a question, Valorie always answered it.  “What’s your name?”  “Her name is Tara”.  “How old are you Tara?”  “She’s 3” ….Mom had to sit her down, get her attention and explain how important it was to let me start talking for myself.

Thanks to Valorie, I speak up  for myself and I’m good at it!

Valorie was always there for me.  Even though she is only 2 years older than me, she was the closest thing to mom that I had. ValandTaraFerrisWheel

Until she wasn’t….

As I got a bit older, maybe from the age of 10 to 15, Valorie became a bit of a bully to me (I suppose I was a bit of a brat too).  Not all the time, but a lot of the time, she was really rough on me.

She once rubbed dog poop in my face and mouth and sat on my head and pulled my hair til it felt like it had all been pulled out.  

If you see her wrist, there’s a big scar on it–she went to punch me (after I kicked her)  and I shut the door as she punched–right through the glass window.  Oh I thought she would kill me after that one!  There was blood everywhere, we had to go get her some stitches.  Drama–but this is what growing up with a sibling looks like, it’s not always love and light !  This is life at it’s best, really!

 I survived.

As the years rolled by, we grew up.  Valorie became a girlfriend to a couple of different guys–I still know their names and can still see their faces vividly.  They weren’t good enough for Valorie and her intuition guided her out of those places.  Not  long after,  she found the love of her life and she’s  been married to Glen for 35 years.   They have two lovely daughters who are off in the world and living and enjoying life.ValandGlenBLUE

Even though the closeness Valorie and I  shared as children marched forward in years, we still feel the essence of that closeness in this present time.

Valorie has rooted for me and supported me in a myriad of ways.  Although they may have been unspoken, I have felt them.Sister

There is something about those early years that just imbeds itself  into my  cells and my memories.  Feelings and emotions are hard to encapsulate into words.   To me, though, the feelings and emotions that came from being loved by my sister Valorie have just held on–as if in an infinite embrace.  I am supported, I am loved.

I am held in an infinite embrace.

So, even though we don’t often speak our respect and appreciation frequently and freely, it will always be there in the depth of my being.  The space it holds feels so dear to me.  There is no questioning that space–no doubt about her love for me– it just remains and it just IS.TarAnd Valorie

To the people who know my sister Valorie, you will all agree, she is so much to so many people.

She is a friend and confidant to everyone she knows–they can all count on her ear to be there for the listening. 

Valorie is a loving mother,  a loving wife, a loving daughter and a loving daughter-in-law.  She is constantly giving of herself to everyone around her.  Her job is so perfect for her–she gets to help welcome newborn babies into the world since she is a labor and delivery nurse–that is the most powerful place on the planet–in the presence of those miracles– and she gets to be there all the time!

It is clear to me, she deserves to be in that miraculous place because she is such a gift to everyone she knows.  GlowingValorie

Out of all the people I’ve known throughout my lifetime, Valorie is the most open-minded and open-hearted person.    She can hear a story, feel the emotions and be the first to want to engage with someone who may have been emotionally detached for a lifetime.

She is just plain fair and sensible and loving and always expecting the best out of people.

Gosh, I hope she really gets who she is for everyone in her life–the words I use certainly cannot give her the praise she deserves.

Even though she knows in the depth of her being  how I feel about her, I wanted her to hear it again–at least once in sentiment and words.  Her spirit fills me up –all the way  up–all the time that I’m in her presence!  My love for Valorie lives in infinity!ValorieFritzyTara

Giving Feels Good!


I just spent time with a newer friend–I’m finding out so much about her that I hadn’t known before.

She’s a giver.

She helps so many charities– homeless shelters, foster children and  more.

It’s funny, I just gave a little of my time with a warm heart.  She wanted to start writing a blog, that was something I could contribute.     Someone,  about 4 years ago,  did that for me so I wanted to pay it forward to someone who really wants to write and share some of the amazing things she’s up to.      http://saralevymusic.wordpress.comSaraLevy

Maybe I’ve never been a big giver in that regard because I never thought I had enough to give.

When you grow up in a home where everyday there is just enough to get by, a pattern just takes place in the center of you and you just keep living it on into your life.

It took me some years to learn that money and giving are not synonymous–there are many ways in which to give.

Yes, I’m still “just getting by” in the financial sense but that doesn’t have to affect what I can give of myself and my  abilities.

Today I gave my time and my little bit of knowledge about what  it takes to get started writing a blog.  She was an eager participant and it was such a thrill to see her so happy about such a simple thing. Giving Feels Good!

 I can only imagine how happy Sara must feel because she’s always giving.  It seems like her entire life revolves around giving–what a gift that must be!  photo-5

What a lesson I learned today–some people are just so amazing with what they give and when you give you feel almost more fulfilled than the person receiving!

The other day, I parked in Santa Monica and was getting out of my car to go grab an espresso.  A homeless woman came up and asked me for money.  I said,  “I don’t have any  money but do you need something else–I’ve got a trunk full of things.”

She looked at my glamorously full trunk and said, “oh, can I have that backpack?

“Absolutely”, I replied– I removed the things I had inside the bag and gave it to her.  She was thrilled, her eyes lit up and she was really happy.  I was even more happy that I could create that thrill within her being.

It feels good  to GIVE!

Group prayer for Sunday:

Dear God,
May all who hunger be fed,
and some be fed by me.
May all who suffer be healed,
and some be healed by me.
May all who fear feel loved,
and some feel loved by me.
Heal my life that I might be
a channel of deliverance
in the lives of others.
And so it is.
Amen              Marriane Williamson

Money For Nothing


Growing up I never had any anticipation of receiving an inheritance.

There was barely enough to get by week to week let alone receive anything more–my mom worked 2 jobs and my father was not present.  My father had another family and if there was any sort of inheritance, I’m sure they would be receiving it so I just never thought I would get an inheritance.

Well, I was so mistaken because I just received the greatest inheritance of my life!

No, it didn’t come in the form of money and things, it came in the form of  the most extraordinary human being I’ve ever met–I inherited my brother from my father’s second marriage– a most awesome man!GregoryLightsUp

If you met this man, you would just be so inspired to be greater than you are now.  He is such a living inspiration of how a fully actualized human being lives life.

He is creative, sensitive, artistic, intuitive, empathic, strong, sweet, disciplined, free, calm, patient, understanding, engaging, lovable …I could go on!

He is just pure love.  There are some who say the words “love and light” all the time and they are just words–Gregory IS love and light all the time!

I swear, this man is such a gift–not just to me but to everyone who knows him.    He is the sweetest, most tender man I’ve ever met.  He is fearless, eager, and calm–all at the same time.  He takes on things and walks through the fear of not knowing how to do them and just does them.

Not only is he a successful Chiropractor, he is an accomplished guitar player and singer in his band, “Auspicious Package”, he is a talented tattoo artist, and he is a Bringer of Light through the energy work he performs on  clients in his Castro Valley “BodyMind Connection” office in the Oakland area.

We have lived our lives separately yet now it seems as though we have been traveling down parallel paths looking at each other the whole time–getting clues from each other as to what we’ll do next.

After finding me through Facebook, he read some of my blog entries and saw someone who thinks the way he does. We talked on the phone and realized that our lives, even though they were separated by 3,000 miles and no contact, were so similar in so many ways that it is just plain hard to ignore!  It’s almost as if there is this phenomenon of quantum entanglement in action–as if we are soul twins of some sort–twin stars!

 We discover more than the time before–that process of discovering is exhilarating to say the least.

No amount of money or  material anything can compare to the joy and beauty he brings to my life.

When you are  in the midst of extraordinary, there is nothing bigger or better or more fulfilling than just BEING in that presence.

Yes, I am wealthy and abundant beyond belief from that inheritance.  My world has opened up in ways I can’t even see from here.

Not only did I inherit him, I inherited his wife and his friends and his world!  His wife, Patty, is as equally awesome in so many ways.

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She’s confident and secure and always looking to expand and grow and become more.  She is warm and generous and considerate.  I can’t wait to get to know her even more–she is easy to be with!  

I always say, “it takes one to know one”–it’s no wonder they’re a couple, they are the perfect match to each other.  

She encourages growth for everyone around her–it’s as if she sees the light in others and draws it out–that’s what she’s done with Gregory.  He is one amazing human being and she has been part of his growth for the last 27 years.

Yes indeed, if I were given the choice between a huge sum of money and having this relationship, without a doubt I would choose these beautiful beings–an inheritance of the greatest value!

As much as I’ve tried to describe it, it is truly ineffable–too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words!

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I have a real live person, an amazing person who I have some cosmic connection to.  My entire family will be able to experience his light and love!

 The love  I feel doesn’t seem to fit into a category. It’s a love that goes beyond  labels–it  is more vast than any love I’ve known.

You may be thinking, what has this woman been smoking?  I know I’m scaring you a bit–that’s okay.

Just hear me out fully–this has been one of the most awe-inspiring experiences of my life.  Yes, I am wealthy and abundant beyond belief from that inheritance. Here is what I am trying to express…

I believe by staying joyful, finding happiness in the simple things, appreciating your surroundings,  your life will become more and brighter than it has been.  Something amazing can’t help  but show up when you spend most of your time in the bliss and wonder of life.  I’d been hanging out there quite a bit and it paid off big time!  It will look different for everyone–start looking for what soothes you and brings you joy and something awesome will arrive–just for you!

Namaste’–I honor the place in you where the entire Universe dwells, the place where there is truth, love, peace, health, and abundance.  When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are one!

Your Body–Friend or Foe?


I massaged a woman yesterday who was so rushed and stressed and oh so attached to her pain!  She ran in complaining about the parking situation and she did not seem ready to lay down on a massage table and receive.

She is a former therapist at the clinic I work in so I knew her but I had never seen her in this state–

really rushed, stressed, and agitated.

Our previous time together was very limited–we’re simply acquaintances.

I must say, her energy and mine did not meet anywhere–even in the middle.

 I was calm and loving and seeing relaxation and calm and health and healing for her.IMG_0717

She was angry and stressed and frustrated and burdened with a chronic pain for 10 years.

She owned that pain like it was hers for good.  She claimed it and reaffirmed it and it was certainly not going to go anywhere–she made sure of that with her words and her emotions.

“I have had physical therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic, every kind of therapy and nothing even touches it–it’s just numb!”

I gave what I could as a massage therapist, but I know it was nothing near what she could receive.  Her energy is BLOCKED and she could not receive.  She couldn’t even breath, she was really and truly in a bad place.

Don’t get me wrong, I too have been attached to my ailments–searching and looking for ways to alleviate them.  Sometimes we have to look at our life though to find out what is really going on.

She was in no place to hear me, but I did ask her, “what happened 10 years ago when this began?” “Nothing, no injuries or accidents”.  “how about emotionally?”, I asked  She just affirmed,  without thinking–“Nothing”.

She isn’t ready to let it go.   Sometimes, the things that cause us the most pain just need to be let go.  Let it go.  Stop holding onto it so tight , claiming it–stop treating it as the enemy!

I remember when I first starting teaching Aerobics.

We all taught in jazz dance shoes and jumped around on cement and wood and carpet over cement.

I taught several classes per week and sometimes 2 or 3 per day.

I had SHIN SPLINTS!

I remember the nurturing spirit I had toward this injury.  I had a ledge to sit on in my shower.  I would massage my shins with the pulsating  beads of water.  I massaged and talked to my shins with love and sweetness.  After the shower, I massaged them with lotion telling them how much I appreciated their service.  That memory is so vivid–it’s as if it was yesterday but it was 30 years ago!

Yes, we need to treat ourselves and our injured body parts with love and kindness–not as the enemy!

Those shin splints went away pretty effortlessly–my body WAS serving me and responded to my loving suggestions of health and healing.

I wish that for you.  tara-and-the-coastline.jpg

In my morning meditation with Deepak Chopra today, he said the same, we need to treat our pain as a friend sitting next to us–“embrace her and comfort her.”   My body is my friend and I’m so glad I took the time to experience love and nurturing toward myself all those years ago because it just keeps on giving back as the years move forward!

Too Young To Learn From?


I invited a friend to come with me to  yoga.  The teacher of the class is  20 years my junior.   When I invited him, he said,

“No, I won’t go to her class–what can I learn from her, she is too young.”the fabulous Brigitte

I sure am glad I didn’t have that attitude when I first met her years ago.  The moment I met her, I knew she was someone I wanted to spend time with–see previous post: (https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2010/04/30/a-magical-age-25/)

At the same time, I can understand his sentiment because I too have  held this belief at times. My belief was a bit scattered and depended on what the subject was.  Here I am, a woman who has already seen so much in life, experienced far more because of the extra years I’ve lived, yet–

I strive to find ways around that limiting belief–to stay open to as many people and paths I cross–regardless of their age.IMG_0795

Years ago even when Brigitte  had just begun teaching–I was simply going to be a support for her as a teacher. Yet, every time I attended her class, I always experienced some kind of  illumination that thrilled me.  It was always a loving, healing experience for me.  Brigitte will say a phrase that can tap you into your own spirit in an instant.  Her spirit and energy alone, are worth your time.

My personal yoga practice has been going on for about 15 years–just because someone is new to teaching doesn’t mean there aren’t  things I can learn from them!

Brigitte has been teaching for more than a few years now and as time has gone on, I see that I have learned more than I was even aware of at the time.  brigitte takes a breath

I still think about the interaction with the friend that is close to my age.  I can’t help but think of the confucius saying–“he who thinks he knows it all has a lot to learn”.  It’s not that he thinks he knows it all, it’s just that he thinks he knows more than her because she’s so much younger.

Don’t let those narrow-minded beliefs cut you off from amazing people that  just happen to be younger than you!

As I reflect on how Brigitte has affected my life, I’m pretty blown away at the things I’m doing today that she is responsible for.  She urged me to start writing this blog.  I vividly remember the day–we had just completed a gorgeous hike.  We sat together  and she helped me form my first words in my first post!  Who knows how long it would have taken me without her guidance.

When I met her, I had just ended a 20 year marriage that had me pretty darn isolated!

Brigitte has opened up my world in ways that were so necessary for my growth as a person and in my profession.   She really helped me to see the power of being involved in community and in creative collaborations of all kinds. I’ve since started my own Meetup.com hiking group and have met and remain friends with so many amazing people who I’ve met through that group.my meetup hike

Brigitte has organized and led workshops on various topics–one of my favorites was

The Artist’s Way Workshop.

A group of women met for 12 consecutive weeks practicing the  topics together as a  support system for one an other.  It was a powerful process and Brigitte is a myriad of things to me and to the people who know her–she is a nature lover, she seeks out adventure and wonder, and she is a master facilitator on so many topics regarding personal growth and finding ways to claim the life we were meant to live.  She has been invaluable to so many charities throughout Los Angeles  that empower children through creativity and the performing arts.IMG_0519

As a yoga teacher, Brigitte’s classes have always evolved.

She is the consummate professional–she has a sense about her and she knows how to address whatever your needs may be.

Emotionally, she has that same sense.  She can tap into what you may have locked away for years and get you looking at it and responding to it.

If you have the chance to attend a class here in the Santa Monica area or even travel with Brigitte to a far away yoga retreat–take it!

The chance for an intensive week of that “Gigi Yogini” energy should rock your world in ways you can’t even imagine now!brigitteandtaraTREE

 Visit http://www.GigiYogini.com for the latest schedules and updates.

Choose Pronoia!


I was flying down a singletrack trail on my mountain bike yesterday–the trail closed in and became a little brushy. There were curves and overgrown bushes so it was hard to look far enough ahead to see what was coming up. It felt like I was a little blind, in the fog and not knowing what was next.  Just because you’ve gotten really good at something, don’t think the unexpected isn’t around the next corner.IMG_0508

Nothing is certain and just because you’ve seen the same things over and over doesn’t mean you’ll keep seeing them.

Life can be that way sometimes. The certainty of what lies ahead is not certain at all! Anything can happen…the trail could end, a wild animal could approach, a dangerous drop off in the trail could stop you in your tire tracks or you could even come face to face with the love of your life!the shadow tara

The same is true in our everyday lives. You just never know what will come into your life. There could be something amazing just around the corner, just beyond the hidden bend in the road. Keep on riding with the mastery and confidence you’ve developed and you will be able to deal with it when it reveals itself.

Stay calm and confident and don’t get fearful and worried. Life can work out for you if you decide it will.

That’s about as simple as it is–however you decide to anticipate and expect is the way it will most likely work out for you.

As it says in the “Desiderata”, “Go confidently amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence”. Be still and know that all is well and you are supremely guided and protected…be the opposite of paranoid–be Pronoid.

Pronoid–what a concept!  Instead of being paranoid and expecting the worst, be Pronoid–expect the  BEST!

Get A Glimpse– No Ego In Sight!


I am a woman and  sometimes when I look in the mirror I notice a little too much of what’s wrong–all the flaws.  Sometimes I see too much fat, too many flaws in my skin, blah blah blah!  Sad, but true.   Most of the time, though,  I am just in a state of BEING and enjoying life and feeling good.  

Every now and then though, I focus in on what’s wrong.  We can all be way too physically focused. When we live in our heads, the ego rules the game.

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The ego is always concerned with holding you down, keeping you stuck and safe. It likes to compare you with others and compare you with yourself when you were better. And, if you’re a young gorgeous thing, if puffs you up and helps you feel superior physically.

Either way, the ego is not a loving force, it is competitive and judgmental.

When we are living in the present moment and really living life, there are no thoughts about our physicality and how it isn’t measuring up anymore. The present moment is simple, feel good bliss. Lately I’ve been getting glimpses of an unconditional love for my physical self. It’s definitely different than what I’m accustomed to when I look in the mirror. The more time I spend with me, the more I’m starting to really be okay with me.

Not just okay, but really loving me!

Then my ego kicks in and chatters, “you’re only letting go of the physical thoughts of yourself because you’re losing them–you’re becoming unattractive and old-looking so why not learn to let it go”.  Thank you for sharing EGO–as Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “Edging God Out”.

That’s truly what the difference feels like to me, when I’m in the present moment bliss I am in God and God is in me.IMG_0508

When I’m in the comparing, critical mode, I am Edging God Out!  

The first step toward spending more time in GOD mode instead of EGO mode is simple– AWARENESS.  As soon as you are aware, you are on your way to having far more freedom than you have ever imagined.

So go ahead and get a Glimpse!  It all starts with a Glimpse!

Take Time To Play–It’s The Secret To Perpetual Youth


Something about those words that just sit easily with me–take time to play it is the secret to perpetual youth–that is the truest statement I know.purpleperfectday

My life is always lusting for play. Play is ease and joy and fun and light. Not enough people take the time to do it though. Most people seem like they’re rushing from one chore to the next. I’m glad I know the feeling of play and ease!

Sometimes, even though I’m working, it just doesn’t feel like it.

I’ve taken on the attitude of play so often that it is injecting itself into my work time.  Because my work is multi- faceted and all over the place, all the stops I make from one piece of work to the next are mixed in and then it really feels like all play.

Find the element of play in everything you do!

There are so many people that don’t know what it feels like to slow down and just enjoy.  Always something to rush to, somewhere to get to, and not too much time for quiet and presence.

Some people think I’m somewhat foolish–they wonder why I’m not working my ass off!  If I truly want financial freedom and abundance, why aren’t I busting my buns to get it?IMG_0717

I believe there is a fine line in working too much and not enough.  If we’re not feeling good, how will we attract all the experiences that will make us feel good.

When one can find play and ease in what they do, more of the gifts we’ve been wanting can flow into our lives in the same way, with ease.

Life is brief and fleeting.

It’s up to you if you want to make the most of your time or if you want to struggle with most of your time.

I choose PLAY!

Take Time To Play–It Is The Secret To Perpetual Youth!

Pumpkin/Flax/Chia/Coconut Muffins (Wheat Free/Vegan)


Back in the day, I was a strict Vegan.   I’m actually thinking about being that  strict again, I enjoy these muffins!!!2012-12-27 12.51.53

Dry Ingredients in 1 bowl

2 1/2 C Brown Rice Flour

1/4 C Chia meal

1/2 C Flax meal

1 1/2tsp Cinnamon

1 1/2 Baking Soda (please use the healthy version processed without aluminum–Bob’s Redmill works)

1 tsp Baking Powder

Mix all the dry ingredients together well.  If desired, you can add whole seeds after all dry are blended, blend a 1/4 cup in for appearances

Wet Ingredients in 2nd bowl

1 1/2 C Bananas (about 3 ripe bananas)

1/3 C Agave Nectar

1/3 C Coconut Oil (in its liquid state)

2 tsp Vanilla Extract

2 TBL Lemon juice

1 C Coconut Milk

After you whisk together all the wet ingredients and whip em up good, start folding them into the dry ingredients being sure not to mix them in too much and too vigorously.  Then when you’re ready to to put them in the muffin tins–here’s an important Tip–oil the tins with an over abundance of coconut oil, really lube em up good!

Bake at a pre heated 350 degrees for about 12 minutes.  Use a regular spoon to scoop the batter in–don’t make the muffins too big or they will be too gooey when you take them out.  Once out of the oven, wait about 5 or 10 minutes, then take a rubber spatula to gently loosen the edges.  Scoop them out with ease (because of all the coconut oil) and let them cool top down on a plate (no cooling rack).

Just know that flax and chia and coconut oil are all so good for you, do not be afraid, Enjoy!!!2012-12-27 12.43.55

The thing to remember is you can always tweak them whatever way you see fit, play around with the process. The photo above is this recipe made with a 15oz can of organic pumpkin instead of the banana and added some cranberries, and an egg (so it’s no longer vegan).  It’s just fun playing around.  Enjoy the play!

18 And I Like It!


A strange phenomenon has been happening for me–slowly, the more I am focusing on me with no male distractions, the more I seem to be reverting to my 18th year.

This feeling comes in glimpses and memories pop in sporadically…

The more time I spend ON MY OWN, the more I take on the me that I was as a  young lady at the age of 18. It’s true, most of the time when I look in the mirror, I see the me of this year but every now and then I see the me of yesteryear!  It’s more about how I feel pretty regularly these days. I feel like that girl–even if I no longer look like her on the outside, I look like her on the inside and I am enjoying her.

How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight.

I just heard a classic rock song that had helped me crawl out of a lopsided relationship when I was 18. I had been playing around with my first love since the age of 15. The falling in love was full of thrill and wonder but in time the relationship became sex only. We were young, this was a new physical thrill and we couldn’t seem to get enough of the sexual aspect of things.

The other aspects of a healthy relationship fell away.  I was stood up over and over and over again.  Lies, cheating,  and pretty much everything a relationship is not, I was in it. It happened over and over and over and over again!  For 3 to 4 years, this is how I lived my life and I just kept letting it happen!

Everytime I’d rehearse all the things I would say to him when he showed up at my door for the nighttime thrills, the words would disappear as soon as I’d see his face. I just wanted more of that feeling of connection and heat and love. That is no way to live though and it was hijacking all my thoughts most of the time. And, oh God, in those days there was no voicemail or answering machines–I spent so much time waiting by the phone! I tell you, it was bad and I had it bad!

Thank God for the song, “Your Time Is Gonna Come” by Led Zeppelin (his favorite band).

I hadn’t heard it before this day and if I did, I really didn’t hear it. We were driving along listening to this song and it gave me this immediate AHA Epiphany!   “Lyin, cheatin, hurtin, that’s all you seem to do. Messin around every guy in town, puttin me down for thinkin I’m someone new–always the same playin your games, drive me in-sane, trouble’s gonna come to you. One of these days and it won’t be long, you’ll look for me but baby, I’ll be gone…”.

In an instant, I was free!

I no longer had the need to stay in a relationship that was so part-time and neglectful.  This was such a big deal for me, someone who had never experienced an intimate physical love before and was clearly addicted to the love–then to finally be done with it.

The ill-fated relationship was finished for me, in an instant, and I felt true freedom at its best!

In time, I got back to being me, loving me–the authentic me and valuing my worth.

Music is powerful, memories are powerful, life is a continuous reflection and if we take the time to enjoy the reflecting we just may be able to tap into FEELING fabulous and it doesn’t matter what age you’re at now. We don’t have to stay stuck where we’ve landed, we can go anywhere we choose with our fabulous feelings!IMG_0943

And gosh, if you stay in those feelings for long, the way you’re vibrating starts to pull people who are vibrating in the same way into your life.  Yesterday, I went to help a friend walk the streets of Korea Town in Los Angeles putting up signs for his lost Chihuahua.  As I walked from my car to his house, a young man on a bike greeted me asking how my day was.  I told him what I was up to.  Since my friend was sick and needed to rest I was going to go hang signs and talk to people in the park.  Anyway, this young man decided to join me–which was great because I didn’t know where I was going.

Guess how old he was?  He was 18 and guess what he was interested in?

As a young man of 18, they’ve got one thing on their mind–even toward me a woman who is visibly MUCH older than him.  He wasn’t really seeing me though, he was feeling my vibration–clear, open, and alive!

Yes indeed, I’ve gone back to the me I was before and after all the distractions. It’s as if I’m stripping away this old paint that was stuck in me–you know the paint that keeps getting painted over in apartment buildings after one tenant leaves and the next one arrives.  I’m just more of the authentic ME before I found a way to pour love onto another.

By being true to the beauty that lies deep inside you–the beauty that was there before you allowed anything to mess it up and make it sticky, you can experience more of yourselves and  wake up and feel the freedom of knowing your worth.  You are worthy of all the love YOU can give yourself, then the love you deserve from another can arrive with the same perfect purity!

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not suggesting that the love of my life is the 18-year-old guy interested in sex.  I am merely suggesting that because my energy has been cleared of all the gobbly gook of being in relationships and I am solely focused on being the best me I can be, the essence of me is emerging.  People aren’t necessarily seeing me, they are feeling me.  THAT is what life should be all about.  When we can feel one another instead of being misguided by the physical form, now we’re onto something!  How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight!

Voice of Reason


Recently, I’ve been sharing with a friend some of the worst voices in my head. When the words come out into the airwaves, they are harsh and my friend is somewhat horrified by what she is hearing!  “Tara, I’ve never heard you talk this way about yourself!”

The ego that lives inside our heads is downright mean!

Thankfully, she set me straight real fast and I restored my thoughts to the fullness of who I really am.

Sometimes the ego builds us up in a way that is more like puffing us up and sometimes the ego tears us apart in a way that is extremely abusive. Yes, we face the abuse of ourselves every day and it goes on in our own head!

Please, choose a friend that loves and adores you for who you are and start sharing some of the clutter and garbage that lives in your head. Let your friend shake you back to reality, remind you of who you truly are.  Yes, you can also wake yourself up by being aware but it’s good to bring a friend into the mix to make them more aware of their own chatter.

Life is meant to be fun and full of joy. Somewhere along our way, we’ve figured out a way to tear ourselves apart. This way of being isn’t part of the original plan!

Set your ego straight, stop listening to it chatter on and on. Instead, surround yourself with people who really know who you are and see your light shining from afar!

With Or Without You


I’ve been on my own for 4 years now. In those 4 years, I’ve gone from having 2 or 3 friends to having many. Some of them are there for me regularly, some of them are there for me only sometimes, but there are many to choose from.

It took a while to build up a base but I’m happy to say I’ve done it. What would I be without my friends? Not sure I would be here if I didn’t have them.

One of my friends is such an inspiration. He has so many friends and most of them he met them because of his amazing ability to INITIATE them. I was celebrating my birthday with a girlfriend and my other friend Alexander was going to join us as well. He said he invited a bunch of his friends. There were so many people there and most of them were Alexander’s friends, not mine. I asked each of his friends how they met. All of them said, we just met when we were out and Alex said, “hey, let’s exchange numbers, let’s hang out”.

There aren’t very many people who have that quality. In my world, no one (except Alexander) has that quality. I want to be more like him. I am inspired to be more of an INITIATOR!Thank you!  I feel such fortune in being your friend!

Dig Deep–I Am That


We stood above a waterfall on the trail. Huge boulders were nuggets in a stream. A tree stuck out among the rocks–its roots looked as if they were going into the rock but they simply went beyond the boulder and into the ground. Another tree had huge thick roots that stuck out above the stream.

All you need to do is stop and look around in nature, nature leaves clues. Everything really does always work out for us!

Nature abounds with continuous proof of abundance!

Tree roots never give up, they always seek to grow. It doesn’t matter if they have to force their way through boulders and rocks, they dig deep and get connected.
If there’s no more room to dig deep, they puff up above the surface and grow that way. Whichever way they can, they’re growing. Trees really do amaze us. Some of them have been around for hundreds of years and have seen and heard so much. Imagine…

I guess they set an example for us humans. How are you growing? Are you growing? Reaching? Digging deep? Sometimes contentment and complacency set in and we no longer strive. To strive and be a bit out of balance is where the thrill of life shakes us up and thrusts us forward. Those trees inspired me today, I will reach higher and deeper than I have before. Life is calling me out into it–I just need to trust it and reach!


Just a Reminder…

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Are you an artist?  I think you are but you may not know it.  We think it has to look a certain way.  I am an artist.  For many years though, I never saw myself as an artist.  As I sit here observing my surroundings and the people in my midst, I know without a doubt, we are all artists.

I remember when I met my singer/songwriter friend Chantal Kreviazuk for the first time, I didn’t know what she did in the world,  I asked her,  “what do you do”?  She replied, “I AM AN ARTIST”.

I liked the way that sounded and it really stood out to me.  Still, I didn’t know what kind of artist.  Being an artist is a broad category and it can look any way we see it.

For her, she doesn’t have to think about being an artist, she just IS.  She was a…

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Your Body–Built To Move!


As I’ve been recovering from straining some ligaments in my foot, I haven’t been exercising very much at all.  My yoga practice is not happening because that involves lots of foot work.  I haven’t been huffing and puffing up the hiking trails and the biking I’ve done is pretty tame.  I’ve just really wanted to heal completely so I thought I’d give my body some serious time off.pacific palisades hike

While it has been good for healing my foot, the rest of me is really feeling a difference.  

I actually feel as if I’m aging–my muscles are tighter and achier than ever.

This goes along with a trend I see as a massage therapist.  Most of the people who complain about chronic pain are those who have NOT been exercising.

Today, I got on my mountain bike and could feel my legs burning.

They were gasping for more Oxygen! One of the ratings of an athlete’s ability to utilize oxygen is the VO2max test. When you are fit and efficient, it is high. This means your body has the ability to utilize MORE oxygen. This is so key.

When you keep the capillaries and veins pumping and working and exchanging healthy oxygenated blood on a regular basis, you create a smooth running system–more pathways.

Our bodies are BUILT TO MOVE and when they don’t, they get  dry and stiff and uninspired because there is no good stuff rushing through them!

Without the activities that increase the oxygen, we feel stiff, achey, irritable, and less than youthful.  In the same way, the synovial fluid in our joints needs to be stimulated to stay lubricated and flexible.

Currently my mom is in a nursing home, getting some therapy to get her body moving again. Several months ago when her back and knees hurt too much, she just started lying in her bed all day. She could only sit for 10 minutes at a time. Her back hurt just to sit and her legs hurt along with it.

After assessing her current condition, she is now being told she has the muscle tone of a newborn baby!

She has a long way to go to get to feeling good again.

Let this example urge you forth into your life with a desire to move your body.

Keep it moving and enjoy it moving and it will continue to serve you as long as you live and love it fully!

We need to use our bodies in a way that challenges them.  When we just walk through life with no vigorous movement, our bodies feel the lack of life and vitality. Your body deserves to move.

Simply, oxygen is life and a lack of it is a gasping for breath!

Oh–and the good news is my foot has healed completely and I am back to moving my body with vigor!

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can–don’t be afraid of it or what other people think about it, it is the greatest instrument you will ever own!

Childless By Choice


I am a woman and I am childless by choice.

No, this is not something I need to discuss and wonder about, it’s a decision I made many years ago.

Many years ago, though, everyone seemed to want to challenge that decision.  Talk about pressure, there was extreme pressure every turn I took. If we could all just allow one another to be who they are and honor their own preferences and decisions, the flow of life would be as it should be–full of ease.

Many people made immediate conclusions about me as a person.

Two of the most common conclusions were that I was too selfish or that I didn’t want to go through labor because I would lose my body.  I sometimes wish it were only that simple a decision.

I was once on a date and after telling the guy I was childless by choice, he became outwardly mean and angry toward me, calling me selfish and cold hearted. Clearly, he did not take the time to know who I am, he simply made a judgement.

In an opposite interaction, I was giving a woman a massage. We did not know each other, she had been given a gift certificate so I suppose she felt an ease in being open with me. As we discussed the whole child or no child issue, she said, “if I could choose now whether to have them or not, I would choose to not have children”. She had 3 boys and she was not enjoying the ride. I was sad for her but so impressed in her ability to be honest about such a touchy subject.

I tell everyone, if I were to choose to have a child it would be to witness the miracle taking place in my body.  It is simply awesome! 

To think that a man and a woman can create a child that grows inside a woman’s body for 9 months–that is just mind-blowing.   But when going through the process of deciding, this is not enough of a reason to have a child.  So much more will be required after the awesome, miraculous 9 months and subsequent birth.

In the same way that this is no reason to have a child, some have made the comment, “but who will take care of you when you are old”?  Wow, really?  Would that be a reason to have a child–to have someone to take care of me when I’m old?

The easiest way to explain it:  I never really had the gene that some women have while growing up, the gene that has them fantasizing about being a mom and having a family.

Maybe it had something to do with me being the youngest child and not having anyone to take care of.  I know my sister who is 2 years older than me is a fabulous mom to her 2 daughters and she was pretty fabulous as my older sister too.  She was accustomed to caring for me a lot!

I just never wanted kids bad enough to even think about having them.   I watched many women go through the process of hormone therapy, in vitro fertilization, and thinking about getting  a surrogate.  I just couldn’t even fathom going through that to have a child.

The thing we all need to realize,  in every area of life, is that we are all different.

As much as I haven’t had any desire to have children, I can understand that one could have such a huge desire to have them and how doing whatever it takes would be in order.  I get that.

The whole motherhood thing always looked like too much for me.  I never felt “fit” to be a mom.  Not fit, but fit.  It just seemed overwhelming, daunting.  I have a hard enough time taking care of me let alone a helpless child.

And the feelings.  I have a huge sense of empathy and I can’t bare the thought of having to go through the pain of childhood.  I remember when my niece was about 14.  She had been on the soccer team for a couple of years and she had just returned from try outs.  She didn’t make the team!

She was in so much pain and I felt it. 

It hurt me to watch her and feel her pain.  I can’t imagine having to go through all that pain with a child of my own let alone my sweet niece!

I had many women try to convince me that I HAD to have kids.  One of my friends had just had her first baby and was clearly elated; she saw my husband and I in a restaurant and came over and said “you have to do this, you have to have kids”.

I understand their joy and their desire for me, but this was just a bit inappropriate especially knowing that I had made this decision years ago. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people say, “you’d be such a good mom”.  Perhaps I would, but I don’t want to be.  No person, man or woman, who doesn’t want kids, should have them.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t love kids, I do.  I have always blended in with kids and their friends, I relate well to them and their energy.

I guess what I’m going on and on about is to make the point that we are all different and not everyone is cut out to be one thing or another.

If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it–that’s a rule I live by.

There is nothing worse than saying yes to someone or something and then when the time comes to do it, you wish you wouldn’t have said yes.  “When in doubt, don’t” is something that really resonated with me regarding having children.  What if I went ahead and said yes and then later regretted.

Honestly, I am in awe of my mom and all moms!

The love and sacrifice that they give their lives to for us just boggles the mind!

To me, the most powerful being on the planet is a mom!

Having a child is not something to take lightly.

It’s not committing to an event or an appointment, it’s committing to a lifetime appointment!

I am childless by choice and while I have unending respect for every mom that ever lived, I am so glad I took the time to choose!