Home

Degrees of Forgiveness?

Leave a comment


Forgiveness is power.

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Recently, I’ve had the “forgiveness” conversation with people.

I’ve heard a common theme that troubles me.

People seem to have varying degrees of forgiveness.  It seems that some things are acceptable to forgive yet others are not so acceptable.  Gosh, that doesn’t sound like forgiveness to me.2012-02-19 11.59.27

I was telling someone that I was going to a friend’s  house to watch the movie  “Powder”.  I had watched it the first time in 1995, the year that it was released,  and remembered what an impact it had on me.

She exclaimed, “I won’t watch THAT movie because a child molester was the Director of it”.

Gosh, I know that being a child molester is not acceptable AT ALL, but must we always carry that with us and NEVER forgive a person?

Are there degrees of forgiveness?  Are there some things we just shouldn’t forgive?  I’m troubled by the rigidity of that!

View original post 232 more words

Feathers Find Me

Leave a comment


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

It’s amazing the thoughts and beliefs we hold onto.

Even long after we are adults and can clear the clutter of the limiting beliefs we’ve been taught, there are still some beliefs that hang on.

Lately I have been walking by lots of feathers lying on the ground.  One of the things my mom told me when I was very young was, “don’t pick up feathers because they may have lice”.  That is something that, until recently, I listened to and obeyed.

IMG_0962Feathers, though, are one of the most powerful animal totems.  If you’ve read the book, “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews, you know that feathers are considered gifts from the divine.

Feathers have long been associated with the wind, the mind, new flights, and a direct connection to divine forces.

Ted Andrews says, “as you begin to study and honor the birds you encounter, you will find yourself being gifted…

View original post 352 more words

The Hike of Your Life

Leave a comment


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

The hike of your life…

If you’ve ever gone on a long, hot, arduous hike, you know how closely it relates to life.  Life is like a hike at times.  Sometimes it’s really high and challenging and other times it is low, boring and mundane.EagleRock

One hike stands out in my mind. I was leading a hike for the residents of a drug and alcohol treatment facility. 

The residents are adjusting to a lot so, naturally, they aren’t always pleasant and cooperative.

One woman on the hike was almost always complaining.  She only wanted to go on hikes that started with a steep up hill. Anything that didn’t start hard wasn’t enough for her, she wanted to work hard and enjoyment was not part of the plan for her.

This hike was such a lesson for all involved.  We started out and the trail was muddy.  It had just rained…

View original post 712 more words

Good Vibrations!

3 Comments


My dog decided to run out of the gate when it opened. 

This is something Sebastian has done before but always returns within 20 minutes. 

Usually, we just know he’ll be coming home soon and he does.  He just needs to run wild and get a thrill. 

This time though, after two hours had passed, I became a bit anxious.

I decided to cancel my Christmas party plans and stay home in case anyone found him and called the number on his tag.  No calls. 

My Facebook status up-date from the previous day was “Worry is a waste of your imagination”.  I was to be tested on this day!

013

I kept seeing him, in my mind’s eye,  coming up to the gate and looking up into my eyes like he always does with that intent, sensitive, sweetness.  Unfortunately, I also had visions, although brief, of him being stuck in the canyon with Coyotes surrounding him or somewhere on the street involved with a car.

As quickly as those visions entered my mind, I pushed them out with visions of him looking into my eyes. 

I told my housemate that he was probably laying on a nice lawn somewhere just enjoying the moments.  She was doubtful but I had seen him do this on our walks so often that I held my vision there. 

I was hopeful but becoming more anxious as the hours passed.

Several hours had gone by now. 

After walking the neighborhood, driving the neighborhood and checking out the canyon behind the house, I had to go to sleep. 

At 5am, after 15 hours had passed, Sebastian arrived home.  My housemate let him in the house and I could hear the familiar running down the hallway.  I jumped up and ran into the hall.  “Is that him, is he here”?

As he had ran out the back door and heard my voice, he ran back in and looked at me with those eyes.  My vision came true!

I have no idea where he had been for 15 hours.  This was the first time he’d been gone for more than 20 minutes. 

I truly believe that my vibration and love for him, pulled him to me. 

I kept seeing and feeling his loving presence out there enjoying life and seeing his loving eyes staring up at me. 

I am so grateful that I used my imagination to see what I wanted to see instead of worry about what I didn’t want to see and waste my imagination on that!

Hold to your visions, feel the thrill of how it will feel when those visions emerge.  Feel the vibration–it’s Everything! 

 

Please Forgive Me

15 Comments


I am at Peace.  My father is at Peace.  My father died a couple weeks ago.  I grew up without a father.  I only met him in person 4 times.

I was 10 when my mother drove us across Country from Michigan to California to visit him and meet him for the first time.

As a young girl who always wondered about her father, I was thrilled.  The next time I saw him I was 16, it was his parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary.

He invited me out to California to visit him anytime.  I thought he was so cool. 

In all my years growing up though, he never wrote me, sent cards, answered the  letters I wrote to him.  The older I got, the more I made that mean something about him and something about me.

I began to form all kinds of negative feelings toward him.

The third time I saw him was a few years ago.  I attended an intensive weekend–a world renowned event called the Landmark Forum.

The Landmark Forum helped me see that things happen to us and we have our own interpretation about what happened.  Those interpretations aren’t necessarily what really happened!

After years of no communication, I simply thought he didn’t care about any of his children.

I thought he had no conscience, I thought he was a bad person. 

However, after finishing The Landmark Forum, I contacted my father and we created a new relationship.  We let go of the constraints of the past and started from nothing–it was so freeing.

I realized, with his help, that there are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in between.  I learned a lot about my father in those few years.  I found lots of compassion for him.

Growing up he had gone to a total of 26 elementary schools.  TWENTY SIX!

His father had a job that kept relocating them.  Imagine how hard it would be to create lasting bonds with people.

He was young when he and my mother were together, he was still learning life and she and we were part of his learning.

He went on to have 3 more wives, and 2 more children in addition to the 5 he had with my mother.

In his last 22 years, he was married to Vicki.  She is an amazing woman and he raised her two kids from a very young age.  He confided in her everything about his life and she loved him deeply.  He was a great father for Linda and Michael and they loved and respected him all their lives.

Even so, he had so much regret and remorse over his past and he always shared with Vicki, the pain he carried with him.

Vicki understood him completely.  Just before he died, he was in a lot of pain the night before and kept waking Vicki and Linda.

Finally, come morning, he was calmer and he just kept telling them, “take my boots off”, “take my boots off.” 

They couldn’t figure out what he meant???

After my father died in Vicki’s arms, she realized what he had been referring to.

His very first child with my mom was Jay Ann.  She died of Leukemia at the age of 3. 

When he and my mom would bring her home from the hospital after getting a treatment, she would have extra energy and be full of fun and laughter.  She would go and slip her little feet into his big boots and run around.

He chased her and would say, “take my boots off”.  It was a joyful time for him…just to see her happy and full of life and energy.

My father was getting closer to that state of Pure, Positive, Energy that comes with passing.  He was happy and thrilled that he would be in that place with his first child Jay Ann.  The place is what we can all find glimpses of here, in this realm,  if we just try.

A place where there is no pain or guilt or judgment.  A place where there is only joy and vibrant energy.  A place, where if you learn to “let go” and forgive, you can be free.


I feel so fortunate to be able to say that I am at Peace with his passing.  I cleared my body of all the negativity that comes along with not being able to forgive.

Forgiveness is not something we give to the other person, it’s something we give to ourselves. 

Most importantly, I asked him to forgive me for all the judgments I made about him.

I came to know what compassion really is–the ability to see someone the way their Source sees them. Source=God=Infinite Intelligence.

My father was a good man.  He had so much going for him and I was able to see through all the veils I had in front of me regarding him and who he was.  We are all here doing the best we can and I feel fortunate to have been able to call him “Dad” later in life.

I AM AT PEACE!

Hello world!

1 Comment


I live in an incredible place.  I appreciate everything in my day.  I focus on what I have and what I can do and I turn away from what is wrong with the world.  If I chose to focus on what is wrong, I’m thinking there wouldn’t be a whole lot of time left to appreciate!

Today started with a hike up in the hills above my house.  Spectacular views abound all around.  My friend and I got to spend time together sharing our lives and sharing the morning.  I am so grateful!

Breakfast topped off the morning and now my first blog.  It’s about time!  Watch out world, the road is long with many a winding turn that leads us to…who knows where!