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Lessons In Time

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Reflecting

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

My mom will be 80 years old this year.  Anyone who knows my mom, knows she is one strong woman–she had to be!  As a single parent with 4 kids, she had to be strong and responsible.  It seems she never missed a beat.

It’s no surprise that us Jeter women are all very strong, assertive, and independent, we learned from the best!  Lately though, I’ve found myself wanting to be a bit less assertive–somewhat more yielding and accepting.

Women’s liberation was big when I was growing up.  I remember the Helen Reddy song,  “I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!”  It seems like most of the women in my life have that strength.  Women tend to be very strong by nature–able to endure so much life experience.IMG_2369

What is my point?  Well, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just lighten up a bit.  Wouldn’t it feel…

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Caught Up!

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People are really caught up in the appearances of it all. 

Just the other day, my friend that I’ve known, more than half my life,  made a comment that threw me for a loop!

We had just walked past  Owen Wilson in a coffee shop–I made eye contact and he said hello (this is about the 3rd time I’ve seen him and he has seen me out and about in Malibu).  My friend and I  had these fantasies that he was actually interested in chatting with us further and that perhaps he kept his eye on us as we left.  Ha!OceanOwen

Anyway, as we approached my car (my 14-year-old car with peeling paint), she stopped short and said, “wait, I can’t let him see me.”  I wasn’t sure what she meant and it took me a minute to figure it out–she was embarrassed to get in my car!

Wow, gosh, golly and gee–I thought I knew this friend!

I don’t know, who wants to be with someone, anyone, who judges us by the car we drive?  It just seems so foreign to me these days.  BUT, sadly, it is truly the norm.

Yes, it might be nice to get into my brand new chocolate-brown Tesla, but I can assure you, it won’t change who I am.  If someone chooses not to associate with me because I drive a 14-year-old car,  I wouldn’t want them in my life anyway.

What a thrill I had when I read this quote by Owen Wilson:

“I don’t like caring what other people think, but I do. There’s a freedom when you meet someone who doesn’t care, who is just themselves in all situations.  To just be yourself, and not try to sell anything, or make a good impression, that’s something worth striving towards.”

I will continue to strive.

Too Young To Learn From?

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I invited a friend to come with me to  yoga.  The teacher of the class is  20 years my junior.   When I invited him, he said,

“No, I won’t go to her class–what can I learn from her, she is too young.”the fabulous Brigitte

I sure am glad I didn’t have that attitude when I first met her years ago.  The moment I met her, I knew she was someone I wanted to spend time with–see previous post: (https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2010/04/30/a-magical-age-25/)

At the same time, I can understand his sentiment because I too have  held this belief at times. My belief was a bit scattered and depended on what the subject was.  Here I am, a woman who has already seen so much in life, experienced far more because of the extra years I’ve lived, yet–

I strive to find ways around that limiting belief–to stay open to as many people and paths I cross–regardless of their age.IMG_0795

Years ago even when Brigitte  had just begun teaching–I was simply going to be a support for her as a teacher. Yet, every time I attended her class, I always experienced some kind of  illumination that thrilled me.  It was always a loving, healing experience for me.  Brigitte will say a phrase that can tap you into your own spirit in an instant.  Her spirit and energy alone, are worth your time.

My personal yoga practice has been going on for about 15 years–just because someone is new to teaching doesn’t mean there aren’t  things I can learn from them!

Brigitte has been teaching for more than a few years now and as time has gone on, I see that I have learned more than I was even aware of at the time.  brigitte takes a breath

I still think about the interaction with the friend that is close to my age.  I can’t help but think of the confucius saying–“he who thinks he knows it all has a lot to learn”.  It’s not that he thinks he knows it all, it’s just that he thinks he knows more than her because she’s so much younger.

Don’t let those narrow-minded beliefs cut you off from amazing people that  just happen to be younger than you!

As I reflect on how Brigitte has affected my life, I’m pretty blown away at the things I’m doing today that she is responsible for.  She urged me to start writing this blog.  I vividly remember the day–we had just completed a gorgeous hike.  We sat together  and she helped me form my first words in my first post!  Who knows how long it would have taken me without her guidance.

When I met her, I had just ended a 20 year marriage that had me pretty darn isolated!

Brigitte has opened up my world in ways that were so necessary for my growth as a person and in my profession.   She really helped me to see the power of being involved in community and in creative collaborations of all kinds. I’ve since started my own Meetup.com hiking group and have met and remain friends with so many amazing people who I’ve met through that group.my meetup hike

Brigitte has organized and led workshops on various topics–one of my favorites was

The Artist’s Way Workshop.

A group of women met for 12 consecutive weeks practicing the  topics together as a  support system for one an other.  It was a powerful process and Brigitte is a myriad of things to me and to the people who know her–she is a nature lover, she seeks out adventure and wonder, and she is a master facilitator on so many topics regarding personal growth and finding ways to claim the life we were meant to live.  She has been invaluable to so many charities throughout Los Angeles  that empower children through creativity and the performing arts.IMG_0519

As a yoga teacher, Brigitte’s classes have always evolved.

She is the consummate professional–she has a sense about her and she knows how to address whatever your needs may be.

Emotionally, she has that same sense.  She can tap into what you may have locked away for years and get you looking at it and responding to it.

If you have the chance to attend a class here in the Santa Monica area or even travel with Brigitte to a far away yoga retreat–take it!

The chance for an intensive week of that “Gigi Yogini” energy should rock your world in ways you can’t even imagine now!brigitteandtaraTREE

 Visit http://www.GigiYogini.com for the latest schedules and updates.

18 And I Like It!

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A strange phenomenon has been happening for me–slowly, the more I am focusing on me with no male distractions, the more I seem to be reverting to my 18th year.

This feeling comes in glimpses and memories pop in sporadically…

The more time I spend ON MY OWN, the more I take on the me that I was as a  young lady at the age of 18. It’s true, most of the time when I look in the mirror, I see the me of this year but every now and then I see the me of yesteryear!  It’s more about how I feel pretty regularly these days. I feel like that girl–even if I no longer look like her on the outside, I look like her on the inside and I am enjoying her.

How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight.

I just heard a classic rock song that had helped me crawl out of a lopsided relationship when I was 18. I had been playing around with my first love since the age of 15. The falling in love was full of thrill and wonder but in time the relationship became sex only. We were young, this was a new physical thrill and we couldn’t seem to get enough of the sexual aspect of things.

The other aspects of a healthy relationship fell away.  I was stood up over and over and over again.  Lies, cheating,  and pretty much everything a relationship is not, I was in it. It happened over and over and over and over again!  For 3 to 4 years, this is how I lived my life and I just kept letting it happen!

Everytime I’d rehearse all the things I would say to him when he showed up at my door for the nighttime thrills, the words would disappear as soon as I’d see his face. I just wanted more of that feeling of connection and heat and love. That is no way to live though and it was hijacking all my thoughts most of the time. And, oh God, in those days there was no voicemail or answering machines–I spent so much time waiting by the phone! I tell you, it was bad and I had it bad!

Thank God for the song, “Your Time Is Gonna Come” by Led Zeppelin (his favorite band).

I hadn’t heard it before this day and if I did, I really didn’t hear it. We were driving along listening to this song and it gave me this immediate AHA Epiphany!   “Lyin, cheatin, hurtin, that’s all you seem to do. Messin around every guy in town, puttin me down for thinkin I’m someone new–always the same playin your games, drive me in-sane, trouble’s gonna come to you. One of these days and it won’t be long, you’ll look for me but baby, I’ll be gone…”.

In an instant, I was free!

I no longer had the need to stay in a relationship that was so part-time and neglectful.  This was such a big deal for me, someone who had never experienced an intimate physical love before and was clearly addicted to the love–then to finally be done with it.

The ill-fated relationship was finished for me, in an instant, and I felt true freedom at its best!

In time, I got back to being me, loving me–the authentic me and valuing my worth.

Music is powerful, memories are powerful, life is a continuous reflection and if we take the time to enjoy the reflecting we just may be able to tap into FEELING fabulous and it doesn’t matter what age you’re at now. We don’t have to stay stuck where we’ve landed, we can go anywhere we choose with our fabulous feelings!IMG_0943

And gosh, if you stay in those feelings for long, the way you’re vibrating starts to pull people who are vibrating in the same way into your life.  Yesterday, I went to help a friend walk the streets of Korea Town in Los Angeles putting up signs for his lost Chihuahua.  As I walked from my car to his house, a young man on a bike greeted me asking how my day was.  I told him what I was up to.  Since my friend was sick and needed to rest I was going to go hang signs and talk to people in the park.  Anyway, this young man decided to join me–which was great because I didn’t know where I was going.

Guess how old he was?  He was 18 and guess what he was interested in?

As a young man of 18, they’ve got one thing on their mind–even toward me a woman who is visibly MUCH older than him.  He wasn’t really seeing me though, he was feeling my vibration–clear, open, and alive!

Yes indeed, I’ve gone back to the me I was before and after all the distractions. It’s as if I’m stripping away this old paint that was stuck in me–you know the paint that keeps getting painted over in apartment buildings after one tenant leaves and the next one arrives.  I’m just more of the authentic ME before I found a way to pour love onto another.

By being true to the beauty that lies deep inside you–the beauty that was there before you allowed anything to mess it up and make it sticky, you can experience more of yourselves and  wake up and feel the freedom of knowing your worth.  You are worthy of all the love YOU can give yourself, then the love you deserve from another can arrive with the same perfect purity!

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not suggesting that the love of my life is the 18-year-old guy interested in sex.  I am merely suggesting that because my energy has been cleared of all the gobbly gook of being in relationships and I am solely focused on being the best me I can be, the essence of me is emerging.  People aren’t necessarily seeing me, they are feeling me.  THAT is what life should be all about.  When we can feel one another instead of being misguided by the physical form, now we’re onto something!  How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight!

With Or Without You

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I’ve been on my own for 4 years now. In those 4 years, I’ve gone from having 2 or 3 friends to having many. Some of them are there for me regularly, some of them are there for me only sometimes, but there are many to choose from.

It took a while to build up a base but I’m happy to say I’ve done it. What would I be without my friends? Not sure I would be here if I didn’t have them.

One of my friends is such an inspiration. He has so many friends and most of them he met them because of his amazing ability to INITIATE them. I was celebrating my birthday with a girlfriend and my other friend Alexander was going to join us as well. He said he invited a bunch of his friends. There were so many people there and most of them were Alexander’s friends, not mine. I asked each of his friends how they met. All of them said, we just met when we were out and Alex said, “hey, let’s exchange numbers, let’s hang out”.

There aren’t very many people who have that quality. In my world, no one (except Alexander) has that quality. I want to be more like him. I am inspired to be more of an INITIATOR!Thank you!  I feel such fortune in being your friend!

Magnetic Energy

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Some people have an energetic force that draws life to them.   It doesn’t matter what they look like, their energy trumps everything.  If it’s a high vibrating energy, it feels good and you want to be around it!

Reach for the best feeling thought you can find and you will raise your energetic vibration higher

I recently attended a Landmark Education class in Los Angeles.   On the second day of class, I entered the room, scanned the space, then walked to the  far right of the room to take my seat. The leader encouraged us to sit in a  different spot from the previous day.  I sat next to a man in the 4th row on the right.   I could only see his back so I wasn’t attracted to him in any physical way–there were lots of open seats all around, but I sat right next to him.

He turned to me and said, “Hi Tara”.   Not only did I not know who I was sitting next to at the time, I didn’t even recognize him after I looked at him. The only reason I knew it was him was by reading his name tag and reciting his name which is a really fun name  to say!

He had changed a lot after all these years…he had gained some weight and had a bit of gray in his hair.  I had dated him briefly many many years ago.  As we caught up with each others lives over dinner, it was clear to me, he had the same fiery energy he had all those years ago.

And even though I didn’t really SEE a physical attraction, I was feeling an attraction to his energy.  I love energy!

He later admitted that when he was sitting there in the morning, he looked over to the door and saw me walk in. He had seen me the day before because I stood up and spoke in the front of the room.

He quietly said to himself, “please come sit next to me, please come sit next to me”–and I did!quiet_fluidity_18dn962-18dn965

Everything is ENERGY! For me, it is so much more important than how a person looks. That’s why I am baffled when I hear  most of my friends list their dealbreakers for finding the man of their dreams–“he has to be taller than 5’9″, he can’t have any children, he needs to be able to support me.”   Really?  Those restrictions could be blocking you from finding the partner of your wildest dreams.  For me, anyway, I stay open to whatever it looks like and reach for those higher energetic qualities..

Energy is amazing. You can deny it or embrace it. I embrace it and look forward to sharing it.  Reach for the best feeling thought you can find and you will raise your energetic vibration higher.  Feel ya later!

California–Letting The Dream Go

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I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”! 

I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.MeetupPhoto

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 21 years now and I feel as if I was born here.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby and I feel as if California is in my bones.  I love this place, it is so magnificent!

Where else can you go to the beach then take a 2 to 5 hour drive and be in the mountains with snow?  Everywhere I go here, I feel at home.

California!  I’ve been up and down the coast and everywhere I go is total bliss.  It really is no wonder that people want to visit here, let alone move here.  If you knew what we had to endure in Michigan, you would have a heart and be okay with us being here.  While it is true, there are lots of people and cars, how can you blame them all?  This a a gorgeous place!

I remember one of the women at the gym complaining about all the cars flooding from the valley to go to the beach.  She said, “vals, go home, we don’t want you here”. 

It’s funny, I thought to myself, she moved here from Ontario Canada–who is she to talk?  Vals are the people who live in the San Fernando Valley.  It is a good 15-25 degrees hotter than on the beach.  Gosh, they deserve to enjoy the beach.  I can see it from both sides, though.  When I spend most of my time up and down the coast because I work in Malibu and live in Brentwood, there can be a huge amount of traffic in the summer months because of everyone flooding to the beach.  It’s all good though, we’re just enjoying where we get to live and play!taraonpaseo

I enjoy where I live and play every day.  Today, as I drove the stretch of PCH that takes me to my long time place of work, The Malibu Gym, I marveled at the beauty of Point Dume’ in the distance.

Honestly, I don’t think there has been one day in the 21 years I’ve been driving that coast that I haven’t been in awe of the sight of it when I see it. IMG_0785

I do wonder, how is it possible to love a place so much?

The month of June, 2013 marks 22 years of living in California.  From the age of 10, I spent 20 years dreaming of living in California.

Some might say it became everything I focused upon.

The DJ in the college cafeteria only had to see me and know that it was time to play my song, “California Dreamin”.  Class after class of teaching, I always ended in the relaxed visualizing mode and saw myself here, happy and vibrant!  Then, after years of postponing my move either because of school or a job or a boyfriend,  I made it happen.  I had dreamed and visualized and listened and dreamed some more and then I moved to California.

I had no car, no job, no place to live–I just had to be here once and for all.

So many dreams came true for me.  I lived on a private horse ranch and attended horse clinics to learn how to be confident in riding and dealing with horses–my childhood dream come true!

Today, I am surrounded by health food stores, healthy restaurants,  nature abounding everywhere I turn, near perfect weather, people I adore and so much more!

I love the life I’ve created.  I ride my bike, I hike the trails, practice yoga at my choice of a plethora of studios.  I live in a neighborhood that simply must be one of the prettiest in the country.  fuscia flowersAbundance surrounds me in every direction I turn.  I am worthy of it all because I brought it to life with my visions and my strong desire.

Now, after 22 years of fully embracing and loving this place, I had the thought of letting it go.

Let it go and move onto something different.  I am open to that.  Montana seems to be pulsing in my radar these days.  Colorado is another place calling to me although the thought of the Winter months don’t really appeal to me.   Hawaii could work for me.  Wyoming is a mystery to me still. Or, I could stay here and just keep living it in the blissful fashion I’ve carved out for myself.

The feeling I had, though, when I let go of the need to be here and the need to stay here was so freeing.  pacific palisades hike

By letting go, we simply surrender to either something better or keeping that which we have.  It was obvious I had been clinging to being here.  I could feel such a total sense of freedom when I just let go.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? “I am open to everything and attached to nothing”.  That sounds like a good plan.  I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say it many years ago and until you experience it in one area of life, you won’t really know how good it feels.

I am feeling this way in several areas of life and it feels like a dream–as  good as the California dream I had all those years ago!purple passion point dume

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