Home

Envy in Malibu

Leave a comment


I have the privilege and honor of caring for people’s homes and animals while they are away.  One of the questions people always ask me is:

“Do you ever become jealous or envious when  caring for other people’s homes?Do you go into the comparison mode and wish you had more of this wealth and abundance.”

Am I envious? Absolutely not! Sure, there are times my mind wanders into that lower energy place of lack and feelings of unworthiness, but my work is to guide it back to the light.

Right now I feel like I’m on the set of  “Under The Tuscan Sun.”  I feel so fortunate to be in this space.  I admire the beauty of it all and I enjoy the responsibility while I’m here but I also enjoy the freedom of my regular life when I’m at home.JacksonsCastle

This will sound bazaar to most, but I never really wanted the responsibility of owning my own home.  I wanted to feel free to go anywhere in the world without being tied down by the physical responsibility of a house.  What can I say, I was young and that’s how I felt.  Now, that’s exactly where I’m at in my life today.

I live in an “out of the ordinary” environment and one of my living spaces resembles a log cabin.  Interestingly, a log cabin is also what I once dreamed of living in.IMG_0244

 Today, though, I’m here in Malibu– enjoying this blissful space and reaping the rewards within right now.  The rewards really are within! And the rewards really are right now!

 

The question really isn’t “what can I get”, the question is “what can I let”–what can I let into my soul that will bring me joy and peace and beauty and ease.  I don’t have to GET anything to feel those feelings.

Feelings transport me into  a high-flying place where bliss is all I see and hear and feel.  Beautiful chimes mixed in with the sound of real raw wind whipping through the palm trees and a fountain dripping below.  I sit and watch and feel the beauty within and there is something so simple about that. All power is in the present moment and I am anchored in the here and now.Blessings

When all is said and done, I remember my favorite quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

Advertisements

California Dreams–Letting Go!

Leave a comment


I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”! 

I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.MeetupPhoto

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 23 years now.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby and I feel as if California is in my bones.  I love this place, it is so magnificent!

Where else can you go to the beach then take a 2 to 5 hour drive and be in the mountains with snow?  Everywhere I go here, I feel at home.

California!  I’ve been up and down the coast and everywhere I go is total bliss.  It really is no wonder that people want to visit here, let alone move here.  If you knew what we had to endure in Michigan, you would have a heart and be okay with us being here.  While it is true, there are lots of people and cars, how can you blame them all?  This a a gorgeous place!

I remember one of the women at the gym complaining about all the cars flooding from the valley to go to the beach.  She said, “vals, go home, we don’t want you here”. 

It’s funny, I thought to myself, she moved here from Ontario Canada–who is she to talk?  Vals are the people who live in the San Fernando Valley.  It is a good 15-25 degrees hotter than on the beach.  Gosh, they deserve to enjoy the beach.  I can see it from both sides, though.  When I spend most of my time up and down the coast because I work in Malibu and live in Brentwood, there can be a huge amount of traffic in the summer months because of everyone flooding to the beach.  It’s all good though, we’re just enjoying where we get to live and play!IMG_0920

I enjoy where I live and play every day.  Today, as I drove the stretch of PCH that takes me to my long time place of work, The Malibu Gym, I marveled at the beauty of Point Dume’ in the distance.

Honestly, I don’t think there has been one day in the 23 years I’ve been driving that coast that I haven’t been in awe of the sight of it when I see it. IMG_0785

I do wonder, how is it possible to love a place so much?

The month of June, 2014 marks 23 years of living in California.  From the age of 10, I spent 20 years dreaming of living in California.onewiththetrailtara

Some might say it became everything I focused upon.

The DJ in the college cafeteria only had to see me and know that it was time to play my song, “California Dreamin”.  Class after class of teaching, I always ended in the relaxed visualizing mode and saw myself here, happy and vibrant!  Then, after years of postponing my move either because of school or a job or a boyfriend,  I made it happen.  I had dreamed and visualized and listened and dreamed some more and then I moved to California.

I had no car, no job, no place to live–I just had to be here once and for all.

So many dreams came true for me.  I live the lifestyle I lived when I lived in Michigan.  I lived it in my own little world there because my environment didn’t really support it.

Today, I am surrounded by health food stores, healthy restaurants,  nature abounding everywhere I turn, near perfect weather, people I adore and so much more!

I love the life I’ve created.  I ride my bike, I hike the trails, practice yoga at my choice of a plethora of studios.  I live in a neighborhood that simply must be one of the prettiest in the country. fuscia flowersAbundance surrounds me in every direction I turn.  I am worthy of it all because I brought it to life with my visions and my strong desire.

Now, after 23 years of fully embracing and loving this place, I had the thought of letting it go.

Let it go and move onto something different.  I am open to that.  Montana seems to be pulsing in my radar these days.  Colorado is another place calling to me although the thought of the Winter months don’t really appeal to me.   Hawaii could work for me.  Wyoming is a mystery to me still. Or, I could stay here and just keep living it in the blissful fashion I’ve carved out for myself.

The feeling I had, though, when I let go of the need to be here and the need to stay here was so freeing.  pacific palisades hike

By letting go, we simply surrender to either something better or keeping that which we have.  It was obvious I had been clinging to being here.  I could feel such a total sense of freedom when I just let go.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? “I am open to everything and attached to nothing”.  That sounds like a good plan.  I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say it many years ago and until you experience it in one area of life, you won’t really know how good it feels.

I am feeling this way in several areas of life and it feels like a dream–as  good as the California dream I had all those years ago!purple passion point dume

Dilapidated Dreams

Leave a comment


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Have you ever driven by a business that was once thriving and now it is dilapidated because of neglect?  In your memory,  it was busy and successful– the place was always maintained with the utmost care and cleanliness; there were  customers bustling in and out  and it was alive and thriving.  Then, years later, you drive by to see an establishment that has been abandoned.

That’s what happened today when I drove by the old Chevron station in Malibu.  It is now infused with weeds, cracked cement, and an old wire fence surrounding it.  The sight of it just hit me really hard.

I guess what  moved me was that it can be a metaphor for our lives, our health, and our dreams.

Unfortunately, some people do this very thing with their  health–they just stop the upkeep.  They decide to just let it go and discontinue maintenance of the premises.

View original post 899 more words

18 And I Like It!

2 Comments


A strange phenomenon has been happening for me–slowly, the more I am focusing on me with no male distractions, the more I seem to be reverting to my 18th year.

This feeling comes in glimpses and memories pop in sporadically…

The more time I spend ON MY OWN, the more I take on the me that I was as a  young lady at the age of 18. It’s true, most of the time when I look in the mirror, I see the me of this year but every now and then I see the me of yesteryear!  It’s more about how I feel pretty regularly these days. I feel like that girl–even if I no longer look like her on the outside, I look like her on the inside and I am enjoying her.

How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight.

I just heard a classic rock song that had helped me crawl out of a lopsided relationship when I was 18. I had been playing around with my first love since the age of 15. The falling in love was full of thrill and wonder but in time the relationship became sex only. We were young, this was a new physical thrill and we couldn’t seem to get enough of the sexual aspect of things.

The other aspects of a healthy relationship fell away.  I was stood up over and over and over again.  Lies, cheating,  and pretty much everything a relationship is not, I was in it. It happened over and over and over and over again!  For 3 to 4 years, this is how I lived my life and I just kept letting it happen!

Everytime I’d rehearse all the things I would say to him when he showed up at my door for the nighttime thrills, the words would disappear as soon as I’d see his face. I just wanted more of that feeling of connection and heat and love. That is no way to live though and it was hijacking all my thoughts most of the time. And, oh God, in those days there was no voicemail or answering machines–I spent so much time waiting by the phone! I tell you, it was bad and I had it bad!

Thank God for the song, “Your Time Is Gonna Come” by Led Zeppelin (his favorite band).

I hadn’t heard it before this day and if I did, I really didn’t hear it. We were driving along listening to this song and it gave me this immediate AHA Epiphany!   “Lyin, cheatin, hurtin, that’s all you seem to do. Messin around every guy in town, puttin me down for thinkin I’m someone new–always the same playin your games, drive me in-sane, trouble’s gonna come to you. One of these days and it won’t be long, you’ll look for me but baby, I’ll be gone…”.

In an instant, I was free!

I no longer had the need to stay in a relationship that was so part-time and neglectful.  This was such a big deal for me, someone who had never experienced an intimate physical love before and was clearly addicted to the love–then to finally be done with it.

The ill-fated relationship was finished for me, in an instant, and I felt true freedom at its best!

In time, I got back to being me, loving me–the authentic me and valuing my worth.

Music is powerful, memories are powerful, life is a continuous reflection and if we take the time to enjoy the reflecting we just may be able to tap into FEELING fabulous and it doesn’t matter what age you’re at now. We don’t have to stay stuck where we’ve landed, we can go anywhere we choose with our fabulous feelings!IMG_0943

And gosh, if you stay in those feelings for long, the way you’re vibrating starts to pull people who are vibrating in the same way into your life.  Yesterday, I went to help a friend walk the streets of Korea Town in Los Angeles putting up signs for his lost Chihuahua.  As I walked from my car to his house, a young man on a bike greeted me asking how my day was.  I told him what I was up to.  Since my friend was sick and needed to rest I was going to go hang signs and talk to people in the park.  Anyway, this young man decided to join me–which was great because I didn’t know where I was going.

Guess how old he was?  He was 18 and guess what he was interested in?

As a young man of 18, they’ve got one thing on their mind–even toward me a woman who is visibly MUCH older than him.  He wasn’t really seeing me though, he was feeling my vibration–clear, open, and alive!

Yes indeed, I’ve gone back to the me I was before and after all the distractions. It’s as if I’m stripping away this old paint that was stuck in me–you know the paint that keeps getting painted over in apartment buildings after one tenant leaves and the next one arrives.  I’m just more of the authentic ME before I found a way to pour love onto another.

By being true to the beauty that lies deep inside you–the beauty that was there before you allowed anything to mess it up and make it sticky, you can experience more of yourselves and  wake up and feel the freedom of knowing your worth.  You are worthy of all the love YOU can give yourself, then the love you deserve from another can arrive with the same perfect purity!

Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not suggesting that the love of my life is the 18-year-old guy interested in sex.  I am merely suggesting that because my energy has been cleared of all the gobbly gook of being in relationships and I am solely focused on being the best me I can be, the essence of me is emerging.  People aren’t necessarily seeing me, they are feeling me.  THAT is what life should be all about.  When we can feel one another instead of being misguided by the physical form, now we’re onto something!  How we feel is everything, it supersedes our sight!

Dig Deep–I Am That

Leave a comment


We stood above a waterfall on the trail. Huge boulders were nuggets in a stream. A tree stuck out among the rocks–its roots looked as if they were going into the rock but they simply went beyond the boulder and into the ground. Another tree had huge thick roots that stuck out above the stream.

All you need to do is stop and look around in nature, nature leaves clues. Everything really does always work out for us!

Nature abounds with continuous proof of abundance!

Tree roots never give up, they always seek to grow. It doesn’t matter if they have to force their way through boulders and rocks, they dig deep and get connected.
If there’s no more room to dig deep, they puff up above the surface and grow that way. Whichever way they can, they’re growing. Trees really do amaze us. Some of them have been around for hundreds of years and have seen and heard so much. Imagine…

I guess they set an example for us humans. How are you growing? Are you growing? Reaching? Digging deep? Sometimes contentment and complacency set in and we no longer strive. To strive and be a bit out of balance is where the thrill of life shakes us up and thrusts us forward. Those trees inspired me today, I will reach higher and deeper than I have before. Life is calling me out into it–I just need to trust it and reach!

Leave a comment


Just a Reminder…

Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

Are you an artist?  I think you are but you may not know it.  We think it has to look a certain way.  I am an artist.  For many years though, I never saw myself as an artist.  As I sit here observing my surroundings and the people in my midst, I know without a doubt, we are all artists.

I remember when I met my singer/songwriter friend Chantal Kreviazuk for the first time, I didn’t know what she did in the world,  I asked her,  “what do you do”?  She replied, “I AM AN ARTIST”.

I liked the way that sounded and it really stood out to me.  Still, I didn’t know what kind of artist.  Being an artist is a broad category and it can look any way we see it.

For her, she doesn’t have to think about being an artist, she just IS.  She was a…

View original post 567 more words

Leave a comment


Hiking Los Angeles, Malibu, Santa Monica Mountains

I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”! 

I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.MeetupPhoto

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 21 years now and I feel as if I was born here.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby…

View original post 845 more words

Older Entries