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Angel Activity

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I remember a time when if I were to read that title, “Angel Activity” I wouldn’t even bother reading the rest.

I never believed in angels. It sounds really sweet and spiritual but I never gave it much thought.
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Our beliefs are sometimes hard to bust through, but it’s pretty incredible when they BUST!

Recently, though, I have a very close friend that passed and I know she is swirling around me, watching over me, hovering closely. Does that sound whacked to you?!!AngelFalls

It would have sounded whacked to me not too long ago. The first time I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT she was there was one of the most powerfully magical moments I’ve ever witnessed!


A very angry man who could not control his emotions or actions was enraged. He grabbed my jaw and began to squeeze–it felt like my jaw was in a vice grip.


In my mind I thought, “he’s going to break my jaw,” and THEN in a BURST of a moment, the energy went out of my jaw and burst through his hand and popped a metacarpal tendon on the back of his hand. IT WAS LOUD!

In an instant, he was writhing in pain on the floor and I couldn’t help but have this smile of utter disbelief and awe fixed upon my face.

At the time, I didn’t realize it was my friend Cil. I just thought it was God or the Universe or whatever force you want to call it, protecting me and he thought for sure he was being punished by God!angelhears

Then, 2 days later I was sitting quietly and going within when the thought occurred to me, “maybe that was Cil.” As soon as I thought it, a flood of goose bumps covered my body in ripples–it was palpable! I will call them angel bumps now!

They say, those who have passed use mostly energy and electricity to get through to us. I have found this to be true on more than one occasion.

Oh God yes, that was my friend Cil. She had known all about the drama between this on again off again boyfriend and I. I tried to end it over and over but his words of hope and the intense chemical attraction we both shared always drew me back in.

Over and over it became quite clear to me that this is truly what the word TOXIC means. I don’t need to tell you the whole saga but the point is, she knew every bit of it and she was surely there in that room hovering close.

She was so sick near the end of her time here on earth that I was her only friend left and the only person who spent any time talking to her. All of her other friends dumped her because they got tired of listening to all her pain and sickness stories.

I had compassion for her. I wanted her to feel like her life mattered so I listened to the meaningless stories and tried my best to be an ear of loving support for her.

In any case, the point is, she had a reason to be there in that room while the grip was getting tighter on my jaw. She had heard through our calls that his angry outbursts had the potential to escalate to physical outbursts and not just the ugly words that flew out of his mouth.
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Cil always assured me, the closer she came to passing, that she would ALWAYS BE WITH ME! She had experienced an on going relationship with both her mother and father after they passed. She was true to her word!

Just this evening on my drive home, when I got in my electric car the infotainment center was not lighting up and my phone was not connecting automatically.

I drove for about 10 minutes trying to turn it off and on and get it to snap on. I had a long drive ahead of me so I wanted to at least have some fun music to accompany me.

Finally, I thought of Cil and asked out loud, “Cil can you please turn this on now for me!” I kid you not, within 5 seconds it was lit up and my phone was connecting.

Yes indeed, it’s hard to deny and it’s hard to stay closed off to the possibility of Angel Activity when I have my very own with me whenever I need her. I feel so blessed and protected.

I can hear her sweet words encouraging me when I am too hard on myself, I can feel her comforting presence when I feel overwhelmed with all the different directions my life goes in.

Today is Cil’s birthday–here’s to you Cil. Your sweetness and enthusiasm were a powerful force when you were in physical form and now I must say, it is just as powerful in your loving Angelic form. I love you!

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Malibu Hikers!

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“What do these women wish to achieve by hiking up these hills in Malibu?”

Imagine a very proper Brittish accent with a sort of chronic, cynical way of being in life asking this question, I was telling her about the out of town visitors I’ve been leading on private hikes in Malibu.

Her words and the tone of her words made me laugh very hard!

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I quickly produced an answer for her:

When you’re out in nature hiking up a hill, things get quiet.  When it’s quiet, you feel peace and more clarity than you do when you’re sitting in a house with the television and the wi fi and the phone ringing.  Not only does that technology create too much chatter, but all of those interference fields create a bit of chaos in your thinking. wififorrestconnection

The women travel here on business and want to carve out time for themselves, time to recharge and rejuvenate.  In my humble opinion, there is no better place to do that than out on the hiking trail in Malibu!

She quietly accepted that answer.

Now I say to you–any chance you get to be out in nature or out on the hiking trail, TAKE IT!  Nature is the great equalizer.IMG_0508

One of my clients was antsy to get to the climbing part of our hike.  She said that when she is challenged by a hill, epiphanies jump into her mind and she gets answers!

It’s true.  Simple and True.  Try it.

If you don’t have the confidence to follow the trail alone, please let me be your private hiking guide in Malibu.  My goal is to keep you moving in the right direction and to make sure you get the connection to nature that YOU and everybody deserves!

https://wordpress.com/pages/naturegirltara.wordpress.com

 

 

 

Love Hurts

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I remember my first date EVER–the song playing on the radio was “Love Hurts” by Nazareth (https://youtu.be/6pHNkOQCIzkLove Hurts)

Nick picked me up in his classic Oldsmobile, can’t remember the year but it was old.  When he backed out of the driveway,  his car wouldn’t go into forward drive!

It was quite a scene.

So, we drove in reverse down the street for a couple of blocks before it decided it would shift into drive.  All the while, “Love Hurts” was playing on the radio.

That is one of those moments etched in my mind.  My first date turned into my first love and Love did Hurt!   It went on and on with make ups and break ups and lies and betrayals and all kinds of HURT!HeartVibrating

“It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”  Those are the words and feelings I tried to embody after that  first break up with my very first love in life.  They were simple words that did soothe the pain.

Now, 35 years later, I find comfort in the words again .  Yes, my heart has broken into a million pieces because what I thought was going to be a perfect partnership, turned out otherwise.  LOVE HURTS!

Yes, from the place I sit today, it feels like it would be much easier to just avoid the love offerings out there.  You know, just stay out of the game and sit on the sidelines so I don’t have to get bruised and burned again.

That, though, is the ultimate betrayal.

Being in a relationship that becomes deep and intimate is such a gift–a gift of learning  about ourselves through those other eyes.

I have learned so much about myself this time around and now it’s time to go back to work on healing my precious Tara within.  I will get back to loving myself completely before I can even attempt to love another.  He simply reflected to me, like a mirror, all the ways I need to love myself more.

 

I really did think I loved myself fully.  I guess I can say I was fortunate to go through this to see that I’ve got more work to do on ME!BlissfulFullness

So, even though LOVE HURTS, I am willing–willing to love myself fully and then and only then will I want to get back on the field and play the game!!!

 

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Safe and Secure? Not So Sure

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Security is an illusion. 

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.”  Helen Keller

These are the words that ring in my mind when I think things seem too daring for me, I remind myself that security does not really exist and that avoiding danger is no safer than exposure.

When at the precipice of anything new, there is always the urge to turn back and go to where our lives are comfortable and “secure.”
GodCare

I’m 7 months into a new relationship that has been full of love, miracles, connection and synchronicity.  I’m glad I reminded myself of Helen Keller’s sentiment because with anything in life, there are the balancing energies that cause a bit of fear and the desire to go back to when things SEEMED safe and secure.

Risk, vulnerability, and an overall letting go of concern for the future or the past, now that is a trick.  Love, new and developing love, is always unsure.  Why not think and feel in the direction of hope and trust?

If we stay focused in “back then,”  we miss being here.  If we worry about what’s going to happen, we miss being here and now.

Oh how we cling to our ways though, I had gotten so comfortable being on my own, when things became challenging in our relationship, I thought about running back to when it was all so much easier!

Trust, faith, and moving in the direction of the light are what I strive for.  If I listen to the concerns of society and some who spend most of their time in fear, I am bound to draw back in fear and doubt.  If I’m not careful, I’ll hear those concerns coming from my own mind chatter!

It reminds me of a piece I wrote, Pronoia.  Are we going to be paranoid and expect the worst to happen or are we going to turn paranoia upside down and expect the best!   https://naturegirltara.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/choose-pronoia/

Yes, that’s what I choose.  I choose faith and I choose a daring adventure.HappyTara

I choose the daring adventure, even when it gets scary and challenging because that’s just the illusion creeping in.

I told a friend, “I want to spend most of my time living in the realm of NOW, the space of being in the presence of God, the presence of Love, and the presence of what is possible.”   Amen!!!

Those times when I find myself wallowing in the “what is” consciousness, I wake up and fill myself with the knowing that there is no Security and that life really is a daring adventure that can start right now, if we allow it!

Goethe writes,   “Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.  Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it!”

 

 

 

 

Presence Is Power!

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Did you know– Gratitude is THEE most powerful spiritual practice to cultivate.  I spend my days looking for beauty and I always find it!  I am grateful I can see beauty everywhere I look.IMG_0785

Recently I had lunch with a friend and her sister.  I really wanted to get to know her sister better since I had only met her briefly in the past.  Instead of engaging in conversation, she looked past me and judged every person that walked by behind me.  Granted, we were sitting in a restaurant on Venice Beach and that is quite the place to people watch–I’ll give her that.

At some point though, we need to BE with the people we’re with.  Every comment was cutting and critical.  It was hard to be in that space since most of the people I spend time with have realized that I don’t like to go there.  

Truly, I’m looking for the greatness in others because I know that will enhance who I AM.CriticsEncouragers

I want to be present with people, not tear them apart.

After too many non stop minutes of this, I decided to do what is the biggest NO NO these days–I picked up my phone, started taking pictures of the beauty around me, posting to Facebook.

I’m sure that was frowned upon but, truly,  I had to remove myself from all the negativity.VeniceBeachBeauty

Something I learned a long time ago, whenever you judge anything, you hold yourself apart from all the things you are wanting to be and do and have.  All the attention on “what’s wrong” just pulls more of “what’s wrong” into your life!

The other thing I know is that we are all part of the same stuff, let’s stop tearing ourselves and others apart and start celebrating the greatness within and beyond ourselves.

I want to be with people when I’m in their presence — I don’t want to judge everything that moves behind them!  It’s a practice, it’s an art–to become present in the moment and fully absorbed in that moment with no distractions.

Presence within ourselves and the presence within our fellow beings is where ALL the power resides but it’s only here NOW!  I’m going to celebrate NOW. Please, please, BE With Me Now!

Envy in Malibu

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I have the privilege and honor of caring for people’s homes and animals while they are away.  One of the questions people always ask me is:

“Do you ever become jealous or envious when  caring for other people’s homes?Do you go into the comparison mode and wish you had more of this wealth and abundance.”

Am I envious? Absolutely not! Sure, there are times my mind wanders into that lower energy place of lack and feelings of unworthiness, but my work is to guide it back to the light.

Right now I feel like I’m on the set of  “Under The Tuscan Sun.”  I feel so fortunate to be in this space.  I admire the beauty of it all and I enjoy the responsibility while I’m here but I also enjoy the freedom of my regular life when I’m at home.JacksonsCastle

This will sound bazaar to most, but I never really wanted the responsibility of owning my own home.  I wanted to feel free to go anywhere in the world without being tied down by the physical responsibility of a house.  What can I say, I was young and that’s how I felt.  Now, that’s exactly where I’m at in my life today.

I live in an “out of the ordinary” environment and one of my living spaces resembles a log cabin.  Interestingly, a log cabin is also what I once dreamed of living in.IMG_0244

 Today, though, I’m here in Malibu– enjoying this blissful space and reaping the rewards within right now.  The rewards really are within! And the rewards really are right now!

 

The question really isn’t “what can I get”, the question is “what can I let”–what can I let into my soul that will bring me joy and peace and beauty and ease.  I don’t have to GET anything to feel those feelings.

Feelings transport me into  a high-flying place where bliss is all I see and hear and feel.  Beautiful chimes mixed in with the sound of real raw wind whipping through the palm trees and a fountain dripping below.  I sit and watch and feel the beauty within and there is something so simple about that. All power is in the present moment and I am anchored in the here and now.Blessings

When all is said and done, I remember my favorite quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.”

Feeling Freedom

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I’m having a hard time finding words for all of the feeling–I caught a glimpse of it this last week.  

I felt safe and secure, deeply safe and secure, yet all the indicators in the physical world would not convince you of my security.IMG_0146

I live week to week.    I have no savings account and I am deeper in debt than I care to convey.

Now, knowing that, you’d think I walk around in fear and doubt and worry all the time.  You’d think I cut up my credit cards and cut myself off from everything I want.

Wrong!

I enjoy life and try to live with total ease and joy–regardless of my financial situation.  Life is more than money–life is energy!

More important than the status of my financial books is the FEELING of freedom.  Freedom comes from feeling not from having.  

The soul wants to experience life it isn’t interested in accomplishments!

Yes, while there are times I yearn for a “real” job that pulls in “real” money, for the most part I am happy to be living this life I’m living.  I enjoy freedom and yes, even multiple streams of income.  Just when I think there is no more money to pay the bills, I get another check from an unexpected job and it always seems to arrive at the opportune time.

At the depth of this feeling, is pure knowing that everything will always be okay.  It always is.  Everything always works out for me.IMG_0492

 

As Donya Ture’ writes in her book, Free Falling Into Your Higher Self, “The logic behind your free fall into a new belief system is because you realize that there is no wordily explanation for life and therefore the impossible, the mystical or even the magical must actually be possible.”

Now, I’m clear that some will say I’m just an idiot and that I should be planning for my retirement and I should be planning to get out of debt and I should be planning to be wealthy.   Planning, planning, planning!

I say, “screw your plans.”  Life is truly about living  NOW.  Having said that,  it is true, I am simply soothing myself and the situation I am in rather than focusing on what’s wrong with it.  I have nothing against planning for the future.  I am happy though.

All of the warnings I receive feels like a fear based way of being.  I don’t want to feed the fear.

I want to bask in the feelings of enoughness, fullness, all that is– wellness!

So, that’s what I will do.  It will be challenging because of the world I live in.  Every way I turn, there will be more INFORMATION to remind me how irresponsible I’m being.  My work, no, my JOY will be to transcend those thought forms, those limiting beliefs and just BE.  I AM WAKING UP from the reality that I have created in the past.  Glimpses of awakening are soooooooo sweet!

Life is so full.  It’s full of a vastness that, once experienced, is irresistible and intoxicating.  I want to spend more time there!IMG_1167

The sweetest twist of all of this are the experiences that show up.  The more I anchor myself in this knowing, the more opportunities arise–they already have!  This is a vibrational Universe, when you raise your vibration by looking for beauty, finding ways to appreciate and have gratitude for the wonders around you, those feelings will draw similar experiences to you.  And who knows, maybe in the form of money!  Money IS energy and it’s always circulating in my midst.

No, I don’t chase money any longer.  Instead I chase the present moment where everything thrives if we will allow it.

 

Money is NOT the source of happiness.  Freedom does not come from having money, BUT having money may just come from feeling FREEDOM!

GodCare

 

I BELIEVE.  I TRUST.  I LET GO. 

 

 

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