It really does seem true–the people we’ve known and loved the longest seem to be taken for granted the most!
Well, let me tell you about my sister Valorie!
Our bond started early, she spoke for me.
I’m not sure when I did start talking but my mom had to have a real serious talk with Valorie because whenever someone asked me a question, Valorie always answered it. “What’s your name?” “Her name is Tara”. “How old are you Tara?” “She’s 3” ….Mom had to sit her down, get her attention and explain how important it was to let me start talking for myself.
Thanks to Valorie, I speak up for myself and I’m good at it!
Valorie was always there for me. Even though she is only 2 years older than me, she was the closest thing to mom that I had.
Until she wasn’t….
As I got a bit older, maybe from the age of 10 to 15, Valorie became a bit of a bully to me (I suppose I was a bit of a brat too). Not all the time, but a lot of the time, she was really rough on me.
She once rubbed dog poop in my face and mouth and sat on my head and pulled my hair til it felt like it had all been pulled out.
If you see her wrist, there’s a big scar on it–she went to punch me (after I kicked her) and I shut the door as she punched–right through the glass window. Oh I thought she would kill me after that one! There was blood everywhere, we had to go get her some stitches. Drama–but this is what growing up with a sibling looks like, it’s not always love and light ! This is life at it’s best, really!
As the years rolled by, we grew up. Valorie became a girlfriend to a couple of different guys–I still know their names and can still see their faces vividly. They weren’t good enough for Valorie and her intuition guided her out of those places. Not long after, she found the love of her life and she’s been married to Glen for 35 years. They have two lovely daughters who are off in the world and living and enjoying life.
Even though the closeness Valorie and I shared as children marched forward in years, we still feel the essence of that closeness in this present time.
Valorie has rooted for me and supported me in a myriad of ways. Although they may have been unspoken, I have felt them.
There is something about those early years that just imbeds itself into my cells and my memories. Feelings and emotions are hard to encapsulate into words. To me, though, the feelings and emotions that came from being loved by my sister Valorie have just held on–as if in an infinite embrace. I am supported, I am loved.
I am held in an infinite embrace.
So, even though we don’t often speak our respect and appreciation frequently and freely, it will always be there in the depth of my being. The space it holds feels so dear to me. There is no questioning that space–no doubt about her love for me– it just remains and it just IS.
To the people who know my sister Valorie, you will all agree, she is so much to so many people.
She is a friend and confidant to everyone she knows–they can all count on her ear to be there for the listening.
Valorie is a loving mother, a loving wife, a loving daughter and a loving daughter-in-law. She is constantly giving of herself to everyone around her. Her job is so perfect for her–she gets to help welcome newborn babies into the world since she is a labor and delivery nurse–that is the most powerful place on the planet–in the presence of those miracles– and she gets to be there all the time!
It is clear to me, she deserves to be in that miraculous place because she is such a gift to everyone she knows.
Out of all the people I’ve known throughout my lifetime, Valorie is the most open-minded and open-hearted person. She can hear a story, feel the emotions and be the first to want to engage with someone who may have been emotionally detached for a lifetime.
She is just plain fair and sensible and loving and always expecting the best out of people.
Gosh, I hope she really gets who she is for everyone in her life–the words I use certainly cannot give her the praise she deserves.
Even though she knows in the depth of her being how I feel about her, I wanted her to hear it again–at least once in sentiment and words. Her spirit fills me up –all the way up–all the time that I’m in her presence! My love for Valorie lives in infinity!
11 thoughts on “Love IS– My Sister Valorie!”
Thanks Tara, this gives me a further glimpse into the lives of two of the most special women in my life. My beautiful sisters. I almost spit out my coffee reading about Valorie setting on you rubbing poop on your face. I thought I was the only one who got picked on In that fashion. :). After only spending a few short days with Valorie, I got a sense of what a wonderful woman she is. I am the luckiest man alive to call you both my sisters…. ❤
Thanks Greg–I’m glad you got a kick out of that! It’s all part of the process of growing up together isn’t it? She truly is one of the greatest heroes of my life!
Thank-you for that! It’s very special! I laughed out loud too at the poop part! I don’t remember that! I know you always talk about that – but surely you have embellished the story! That being said, I’m amazed at all you do remember!
You forgot to mention the stupid fight we were having when you talked about my scar. It was over a hand-me-down coat and you kicked me on the way out the door, I turned around to punch you back and you closed the door in my face!
I, like you, will always be there for you! You are loved, respected and adored!
You’re right – we take too much for granted but I can assure you – that my family does read your writings. And our friends read them too – your light shines for many. So keep writing them! People may not leave comments but they read your postings. I always try to remember…. that often we don’t get our rewards here on earth. We don’t always get to know whom we touch: when a smile makes all the difference in the world to somebody, when something you wrote or said changes somebody’s day. although you’re only one person , you’re part of a bigger plan. You need to continue to use your gifts because you were blessed with them, to be a blessing to others!
I Love You Forever!
Now that I can see without tears streaming down my face, I wanted to tell you how beautiful your words are! And thank you for the reminder about me kicking you first. I don’t know, every time I read that I just can’t stop laughing. We were both so intense! You’ll have to scroll down and read Annette’s comment and then my response–all of a sudden all these other memories popped in. Gosh Golly Gee, we’ve got lots of memories!
read your blog.what a nice story to tell yes we often take each other for granted.ive worked with valorie over ten years and she is a great person.she is all you said and more.she is a great listener, friend, and uplifting to all who know her. happy she became my friend years ago and still is today
Thanks for reading and thanks for your words Sally!
Love this! Sisters really are a special kind of relationship. I know I love mine, more than can be said. Thanks for sharing this!
Thanks for reading Michelle!
Well, my dearest Tara…..I Love your words about Valorie!! I am a witness for real hu!! It seems to me that I spent more time with the two you as young kids, than I did with my own siblings and so…I can attest to Valories Love for you, She was your protector, and she would never let ANYONE mess with her little sister…I recall several occassions where you and I would get into a “mad little fight”, and it never mattered why, Val would automatically wrap you under her arm and allie to her sister’s side…She is a wonderful person, and you are both cut from the same cloth and project your innate goodness, in each of your own Beautiful ways!! So now let me say this…. Tara and Valorie (Jeter), I Love you both!! I applaud you Tara, for sharing your thoughts, memories, and your heart with us about your wonderful sister Valorie…..I too know better than most, the tremendous, unconditional love and admiration that you have ALWAYS had in your heart for (big sister) Valorie!!!
Your words are elegant and real…yeah, when we got a little older we got to hang out with all the tough chicks and sort of take on their essence of “don’t mess with me” and it worked. I knew how to fight but I never really had to because Valorie and Robin Kagy and Lisa Stowe gave us some tough stuff lessons! I love you Annette–you are most definitely weaved into that sisterly love category! I am whole hearted again–just listened to the song by extreme (I’ll find a link) and thought of you as I sang, “there’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you”. This is a jammin song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-h4A7bF8wQ