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Lessons In Time

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My mom will be 83 years old this year.  Anyone who knows my mom, knows she is one strong woman–she had to be!  As a single parent with 4 kids, she had to be strong and responsible.  It seems she never missed a beat.

It’s no surprise that us Jeter women are all very strong, assertive, and independent, we learned from the best!  Lately though, I’ve found myself wanting to be a bit less assertive–somewhat more yielding and accepting.

Women’s liberation was big when I was growing up.  I remember the Helen Reddy song,  “I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman!”  It seems like most of the women in my life have that strength.  Women tend to be very strong by nature–able to endure so much life experience.IMG_2369

What is my point?  Well, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just lighten up a bit.  Wouldn’t it feel good to let go and just let things happen without always being in control, being right and being responsible?  This goes for all you new moms out there too, sometimes it’s okay to let your man do the chores–even if he doesn’t do it quite the way you’re accustomed to (the right way),  just let go!  Sometimes it’s okay to let someone else do it the way they do it–not the way YOU do it!

I find myself withdrawing from the relationships in my life where women are trying to control everything. If it’s not done the way they want it done, then it doesn’t seem like a pleasant experience.  Sometimes I just want to just BE, it’s not fun to be controlled–by myself or anyone else.Image

This is what brings my attention to this topic.  Perhaps I’ve been too controlling.  Perhaps I’ve been wanting to always be right.  Perhaps I am always looking for it to be a certain way. All the lessons we learn out here are about ourselves but they’re through the others in our midst.  We are reflections of one another.

After all these years of living life, my mom is starting to let go.  As the years have gone on, I’ve noticed bit by bit a sense of letting go and just letting it be okay.  She stopped clinging to ideals or things or certain ways that it had to look a long time ago.  Most people who know my mom know her as a calm and beautiful presence.

My mom is who I want to be now.  Easy, calm, accepting, considerate, empathetic, and as a brilliant poet once wrote about her, “full of grace, when others would act a fool”.

Let it be known, I am letting it go and letting it flow.  Yes, there will be times that I forget and feel the intensity of my old ways trying to grip me and snap back in to control a situation.  I will simply notice, be aware, then let it go.  Go with the flow is feeling like a nice way to be.

Degrees of Forgiveness?

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Recently, I’ve had the “forgiveness” conversation with people.

I’ve heard a common theme that troubles me.

People seem to have varying degrees of forgiveness.  It seems that some things are acceptable to forgive yet others are not so acceptable.  Gosh, that doesn’t sound like forgiveness to me.2012-02-19 11.59.27

I was telling someone that I was going to a friend’s  house to watch the movie  “Powder”.  I had watched it the first time in 1995, the year that it was released,  and remembered what an impact it had on me.

She exclaimed, “I won’t watch THAT movie because a child molester was the Director of it”.

Gosh, I know that being a child molester is not acceptable AT ALL, but must we always carry that with us and NEVER forgive a person?

Are there degrees of forgiveness?  Are there some things we just shouldn’t forgive?  I’m troubled by the rigidity of that!

Somehow, if you can forgive some things but not other things, I think maybe you just don’t know what forgiveness is.

The way that I understand forgiveness is to be able to see someone through the eyes of Source.  Call it God, Source, All That IS, Unconditional Love.

When you see someone through those eyes, you only see them as the fullness of who they are in all their potential and  beauty.  There is no judgement, no rigidity.

Why are some things considered okay to forgive and other things, well they’re just not acceptable to forgive?

Troubling indeed.

Should we just throw him out with the trash?  The director of this movie spent 10 years in a state prison.  He is an artist and a person.

Should we never allow him to contribute to society again because of his past behavior?

“Powder” was a moving and powerful movie and I highly recommend it.

The woman who would never watch “Powder” told me to go look up some “Ask Abby” response and then I would understand why I should never forgive a child molester.

I opted not to.

I would rather stand in a place of love and compassion than in a place of hate and an unwillingness to forgive.

For all those who would never forgive, I do hope you’ll never have to be the one in a position to be forgiven.theroseintheneighborhood