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Good Bye 40 something!

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Today is my last day of being 40 something.  I started it out by going to Jerome Mercier’s Yoga class at 7am.

My health is my greatest wealth and I am so grateful to have listened to my inner voice and continued on my path for all these years.

Anyone who has had the pleasure of practicing with Jerome knows how challenging that can be.  Yes, physical strength is needed, to be sure, but there is more of a mental strength that is underneath it all.

As Jerome ended class today he said, “behind all the poses is Savasana”.   Savasana is the final resting pose and it is blissful after an hour and a half of Jerome’s class…

“If we can learn to surrender instead of react to life and yoga, we can get through anything with ease.”

My reactions are right on target for me and my values in life.  Not too long ago, I was working really hard to make a business work.

One of the Senior Vice Presidents in the company who spent years working hard to get there is now making between $100k & $200k every month in residual income.

He gave me some of the worst advice EVER.

He said,  “Tara, do whatever it takes to make this work.  Stop going to the gym, stop riding your bike, stop practicing yoga, spend every spare moment you have to work this business and MAKE IT WORK”.

Yes, that was his advice.  Now, coming from someone who was making that kind of money, you’d think I would listen and do what he suggested.

I did not even give it a first thought let alone a second thought.

In class this morning while sweating profusely and using every physical and mental muscle in my body, I was grateful I did not listen.  I am not making any residual income, YET,  and the income I make is not anywhere near the $100K mark, YET.  Do you think it matters?

Money is his payoff, I suppose, for working so hard and sacrificing his health to get to the place he is in now.  He got back to the gym after taking years off and gaining over 40 pounds and losing lots of hard-earned muscle and strength.  He can now relax a bit and work hard in a different way to get his health back.

I, however, chose to keep my health and sacrifice the money, at least in the short-term.

I am in a state of great health, however,  my state of financial affairs is not as impressive.  I can ride my bike up a mountain, practice yoga  and manage most of the poses with grace, ease, and as Jerome would say, “elegance.”

I have no regrets.  I feel such an immense amount of fortune surrounding me in everything I do.  I am still open to create financial abundance but I am doing it while maintaining my healthy lifestyle.

I am strong.   I am invincible.  I am grateful.  Oh, and tomorrow, I am 50!!!

Puma Power

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As I began my hike at I the start of  Will Rogers State Park, a young woman came running out of the woods, “Oh My God, there’s a mountain lion in there!”  She had turned around after seeing the mountain lion in her first 5 minutes on the trail.samendofthehike

I eased her fear a bit and said that if she wanted to join me on the hike, she could hike with me and I would protect her.

I have come face to face with a Mountain Lion before (I was on my mountain bike) and the Puma was afraid but not too afraid.

He was ahead of me on the trail and ran into the bushes.  As I approached that spot I had marked with my eyes in the bushes, I looked in and his big green eyes were peering out at me–actually I think she is a female.

As we made eye contact, she shrunk back a bit.  I began talking to her… “I see you.  I’m not afraid of you.  You’re fine.”

The fact is, I wasn’t afraid.  I was absolutely thrilled to be in the presence of such a wild animal.

So, on this day as Samantha and I made our way toward our destination 2.5 miles ahead, I explained what you should do if you come upon a mountain lion–it isn’t what I did in my face to face encounter but this is what YOU should do.

The first rule is, DON’T RUN!

Puma’s are a bit like men, they love the chase.

If you run, they chase–that’s just their instinct.  The second rule is, talk loud and sound mean and stand as tall as you can possibly stand.  They are afraid of you if you carry yourself with a confidence and a knowing that All is Well.

In Sam’s case, the Puma ran first, at which point Sam ran the other way.  Luckily, the Puma was scared first.

As we entered the woods, it felt like we were on the Avatar set itself.  Everything was lush and green with vines and ivy all around.Image

Even though I felt like being calm and quiet because of the serene environment, I was TALKING VERY LOUDLY for the sake of the potential Puma lurking in the bushes!  It was necessary to put Sam and I at ease and make sure that I followed my own advice.

The hike turned into one of the most magical days for both of us.

We talked about everything–moving to L A, love,  law of attraction, life’s purpose, goals, dreams, relationships…

I was happy to have her company because I am a Trail Guide by nature and I love to interact with the people I hike with.  I had a hike scheduled that day but the client cancelled.

I had intended on driving all the way to Malibu, but something in me said, “turn” as I approached Will Rogers Historic State Park off Sunset Blvd.

And so, I turned!

Perhaps, no not perhaps, I’m sure I was supposed to meet Sam today.

We were able to enhance each other in various ways and it made for a measurable, magical morning.  I am grateful.  I’ve heard it said at The Agape International Spiritual Center, “I am an answered prayer.”

Perhaps I was the answered prayer for Sam today, otherwise, she would have abandoned the hike within the first 5 minutes.  Sam was there for me so that I could share my beloved trails with somebody who had a strong desire to be there.mountainlionwarning

The Mountain Lion was there to bring Sam a message. 

As Ted Andrews, the author of  “Animal Speak” says in his book,  when we are out in the wild,  the animals we encounter are there to bring us a message… “when Cougar (Puma/Mountain Lion) shows up as a totem for you, it is a message to come into your own power.  People may not like your asserting and may want to keep you in the category they have always kept you in.   The Cougar teaches you how to take charge of your life and your circumstances most effectively.”

So many lessons are out on the trails of our lives, we just have to be willing.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says:

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.”

So many magical moments on that 3 hour hike…  Synchronicity is the one word I will use to describe it.  I will leave it at that and urge you out into the wild.  You never know what, or who,  you’ll encounter out there, but you have to be willing to get yourself out in it and be open to learn the lessons as they appear!  There are so many lessons in NATURE!IMG_0508

Diary of A Massage Therapist

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I feel fortunate to have learned the skill of giving massage.  I am a nurturing,  compassionate person so being a massage therapist is in sync with those natural qualities.

I am so very impressed with people who trust enough.

When you think about it, a perfect stranger is entrusting their body to me, another perfect stranger–that’s a big deal!

 I don’t take it lightly when someone trusts me to put my hands on them in a loving, non-judgmental way.

There is something so blissful about getting a massage.  When it feels good and you relax, time is non-existent and you drift into a place of peace and deep euphoria.  In the same way, there is so much beauty for me to observe someone getting a massage.

At times, lately, I feel as if I get to see God while giving massages. 

God is the place in each and every one of us where we are happy, content, compassionate,  and love ourselves.  To me, God is a place where there is no stress, no rush, no worry, no inhibition.  It is a place where we just trust and allow.  We know that all is well in this moment.

Today,  I had a client return for a second massage.  The first massage was somewhat forced, his wife bought him a gift certificate and he didn’t really want to come.

At the end of the massage he said, “I knew I was stressed out, but I had no idea there was so much stress in my body”.

So today after arriving, he said that people in his life commented on his appearance the day after his massage–that he looked 10 years younger.

He felt it too. 

He woke up in the middle of that night and was sweating profusely, obviously his body was letting go of all the stress that had built up.  “I honestly think you saved my life”, he said.

Comments like that make my day worth living–give me a little more impetus to keep on healing.   “You have healing hands”, “You have great energy”, “I am so relaxed”, “How do you know the right places to focus in on”?

The comments are great and keep me motivated and they all come from the place of perfection-God.

One sentiment I always incorporate into every massage is my Namaste’ greeting.  I say it quietly to myself but I see their face and their essence receiving the truth, love, and peace I wish for them.

Namaste’:  I honor the place in you where the entire Universe dwells–the place where there is truth, love, peace, health, and abundance.  When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are ONE.

I feel fortune in my awareness.  I am a massage therapist and I see God with every massage I give!

Please Forgive Me

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I am at Peace.  My father is at Peace.  My father died a couple weeks ago.  I grew up without a father.  I only met him in person 4 times.

I was 10 when my mother drove us across Country from Michigan to California to visit him and meet him for the first time.

As a young girl who always wondered about her father, I was thrilled.  The next time I saw him I was 16, it was his parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary.

He invited me out to California to visit him anytime.  I thought he was so cool. 

In all my years growing up though, he never wrote me, sent cards, answered the  letters I wrote to him.  The older I got, the more I made that mean something about him and something about me.

I began to form all kinds of negative feelings toward him.

The third time I saw him was a few years ago.  I attended an intensive weekend–a world renowned event called the Landmark Forum.

The Landmark Forum helped me see that things happen to us and we have our own interpretation about what happened.  Those interpretations aren’t necessarily what really happened!

After years of no communication, I simply thought he didn’t care about any of his children.

I thought he had no conscience, I thought he was a bad person. 

However, after finishing The Landmark Forum, I contacted my father and we created a new relationship.  We let go of the constraints of the past and started from nothing–it was so freeing.

I realized, with his help, that there are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in between.  I learned a lot about my father in those few years.  I found lots of compassion for him.

Growing up he had gone to a total of 26 elementary schools.  TWENTY SIX!

His father had a job that kept relocating them.  Imagine how hard it would be to create lasting bonds with people.

He was young when he and my mother were together, he was still learning life and she and we were part of his learning.

He went on to have 3 more wives, and 2 more children in addition to the 5 he had with my mother.

In his last 22 years, he was married to Vicki.  She is an amazing woman and he raised her two kids from a very young age.  He confided in her everything about his life and she loved him deeply.  He was a great father for Linda and Michael and they loved and respected him all their lives.

Even so, he had so much regret and remorse over his past and he always shared with Vicki, the pain he carried with him.

Vicki understood him completely.  Just before he died, he was in a lot of pain the night before and kept waking Vicki and Linda.

Finally, come morning, he was calmer and he just kept telling them, “take my boots off”, “take my boots off.” 

They couldn’t figure out what he meant???

After my father died in Vicki’s arms, she realized what he had been referring to.

His very first child with my mom was Jay Ann.  She died of Leukemia at the age of 3. 

When he and my mom would bring her home from the hospital after getting a treatment, she would have extra energy and be full of fun and laughter.  She would go and slip her little feet into his big boots and run around.

He chased her and would say, “take my boots off”.  It was a joyful time for him…just to see her happy and full of life and energy.

My father was getting closer to that state of Pure, Positive, Energy that comes with passing.  He was happy and thrilled that he would be in that place with his first child Jay Ann.  The place is what we can all find glimpses of here, in this realm,  if we just try.

A place where there is no pain or guilt or judgment.  A place where there is only joy and vibrant energy.  A place, where if you learn to “let go” and forgive, you can be free.


I feel so fortunate to be able to say that I am at Peace with his passing.  I cleared my body of all the negativity that comes along with not being able to forgive.

Forgiveness is not something we give to the other person, it’s something we give to ourselves. 

Most importantly, I asked him to forgive me for all the judgments I made about him.

I came to know what compassion really is–the ability to see someone the way their Source sees them. Source=God=Infinite Intelligence.

My father was a good man.  He had so much going for him and I was able to see through all the veils I had in front of me regarding him and who he was.  We are all here doing the best we can and I feel fortunate to have been able to call him “Dad” later in life.

I AM AT PEACE!