I drove up alongside my former husband this morning.
It was Mother’s Day 2010 and we were both on our way to see our morning clients in Malibu. We were married for 20 years but have been separated for almost 2 years. It was kind of cool, in a strange sort of way, to see him in the car next to me.
We like each other–gosh how couldn’t we?
Time passes, people grow and change and expand in different directions. We are definitely the same yet very different from when we first met 24 years ago! It really is hard to believe that this amount of time has passed.
There are times when I feel that I transcend time. It’s very cool…I feel as if I’m the me I was before my first love showed up in my life. Oh sure, I am reminded that I’m not 15 anymore but for the most part I really like who I am and who I’ve always been.
This leads me back to the husband I once had.
He too is the likable guy he’s always been–he is genuinely a good person.
I can’t imagine him being a bad guy in any way to anyone. I’ve met a few of them lately and they have issues but when I think of the man who is now a free agent, there will be a lucky woman to match him.
It seems that first, she will be surprised that what she sees–she will get. He is as authentic and real as they come.
He’s not messed up in the heart or the head, he just IS.
My greatest hope is that she will treat him with all the respect he deserves.
We met in college and continued onto graduate school together. Then, we made a big change–we moved across the Country from Michigan to Malibu! We carved out a life for ourselves, we grew together, came up against many challenges and kept moving forward.
Our relationship began to show signs of expiration. Our lives began to separate from one another. We shared so much together, so many experiences and places. In time though, it seemed like I wanted to keep on growing and expanding and he didn’t want to budge.
This isn’t about what went wrong though, this is about what is right about us NOW!
My former husband is a great guy and there is just no way around that. He is truly a man of integrity. We find a way to support each other in whatever way we can. We like each other and always will.
There are times that I really miss hanging out with him.
I miss the pure sweet spirit that he is.
Never once, in all the years has he thrown any words back in my face to hurt or harm me.
Being vulnerable in love is so sacred and sweet and when it’s real, it never comes back to hurt! I feel so fortunate to have experienced real love from a real man. Even though what I feel for him is no longer a passionate “in love” feeling, I know what it is to BE LOVED unconditionally.
If it never happens again that will be okay because I felt it once and it was enough to last a lifetime!