The Life You Envisioned?

Is your life everything you envisioned it to be?  This is a question someone asked me the other day.  My guess is he was looking at my life and wondering how I could possibly be happy.

I admit, I am a woman and I do think too much, but I was left feeling a little defensive and it made me really look at my life and wonder.

The answer was quite clear today as I rode my bike along the 25  mile stretch of bike path from Pacific Palisades to Palos Verdes.

I am living something I envisioned for many years.  Since the age of 10, I have wanted to live in Southern California.  I grew up in Michigan and did not entirely enjoy the weather or the lifestyle.

I never seemed to fit in.

The winter weather was harsh and the summers were way too short.  I spent most of my adult years hanging out in fruit markets or the couple of health food stores that existed then.   In the summertime, I tried to ride my bike as much as possible.  I rode to work and on my days off I rode along Edward Hines Drive…a long, lovely stretch of highway with parks all along.

The fact is, I love to play, move my body and be outside.  I have envisioned the life I’m living for many years and I AM living it now!

In college (while still in Michigan), there was a cafeteria that pumped music inside.  Everyday, I stopped into the DJ and requested my one and only song.

All he had to do is see my face to know it was time to play, “California Dreamin”.  I was 18 years old and the dream was strong.

Colleges and Universities kept me in Michigan.  If I wasn’t in college, it was a job or a boyfriend that seemed to tie me to that state.  I started to wonder if I would ever make it out of Michigan?

I taught Aerobic Fitness classes and at the end of every class I played some relaxation music and had my students (and myself) lie on their backs and visualize a place they wanted to be.

I had a couple of favorite songs I used for this segment of class but the best was “Summer” by War.  Interestingly, years later I identified one of the lyrics that I had never really heard clearly before… “from Atlantic City to out in Malibu or anywhere between I’m telling you when you feel those balmy breezes on your face, Summertime is the best time anyplace”. 

I had heard the part about the balmy breezes, but  Malibu didn’t come clear to me until many years later.

When my husband and I sold everything we owned and drove someone’s car out (the day after we received our Masters Degree), the first place we lived was Malibu!

The lyrics in the song brought me to Malibu…what are the chances of that?  We moved without having a car, a job, or a place to live.  We wound up in a most magical place that is still home to me.

We carved out a life for ourselves that went right along with what we envisioned.  We were active, working out in the gym and enjoying the nature abounding all around us…hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding.

We lived in Malibu  on a private horse ranch.

One of my biggest dreams as a girl was to learn to ride and spend loads of time with horses. That happened for me as well. 

My landlord took me to riding clinics and taught me everything I could want to know about horses.  I bonded with a special horse and felt an intense amount of love and sensitivity.

Another long time dream–I met one of my bodybuilding heroes at the gym I work at.  For years, while still living in Michigan, I devoured every magazine article I could find about her–I adored her.  Then, one day, she was being introduced to me at The Malibu Gym–my workplace!

Today, I looked to my right and the waves were crashing, then I looked to my left and was awestruck by the snow capped mountains in the distance.

In my visualizations at the end of those aerobic classes,  I always saw myself living in a place with the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other.  I was vibrant and healthy and happy.

A good many years have passed–things have changed and my former husband and I have gone in different directions.  For the last 6 years, I live on my own–sort of.  This is probably why the question was asked from the man who asked.

Ron is a visitor of Will who lives in the guesthouse on the property that I have my office.  I live in the main house with a woman.  I have my own bedroom/bathroom and entrance.

My office, however, is out beyond the pool across from Will’s guesthouse.  Will’s visitor sees me “wandering about” as he calls it (he’s Australian).  My office beyond the pool is a 1 room building lodged up against the mountainside.  There isn’t a bathroom so I need to walk up the stairs to the main house if I need to use the bathroom.

I guess, to the onlooker, this doesn’t look all that glamorous and one would think that a woman my age would be established and living alone in a place where there were bathrooms to use without hiking all over the property.

I can only surmise that his interpretation of my life is that I am not happy with where things are.

Oh, I’m sure I could have more and be more and thrive more, but I embrace where I am. Almost all I envisioned came true for me.

In my eyes I have everything I need and there’s always something we could complain about.  And yes, I am envisioning new desires…I certainly haven’t stopped envisioning my life.

There are new orders I have placed with the Universe and until they arrive, I will be happy with my life NOW.

But, to answer the question, “is your life everything you envisioned it to be”?  Yes, indeed it is.  It is richer and warmer and more wonderful than I envisioned it.  So many dreams have come true…
My life is everything I envisioned and more.  Experiences, relationships, and places are the wonder all around me.

I live in bliss on a daily basis. 

From your perspective or Ron’s perspective it may not look that great, but this is my life,  I am happy,  I am fulfilled and I am so glad I know that this is the life I have envisioned and the life I AM envisioning is coming into existence as I write!!!

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