Many people seem to be opting out of the game of dating. It seems the pain and heartache they’ve experienced in the past has stopped them from looking for more love. They hear about all the dramas associated with dating and proclaim, “I am just not interested in going through all of that anymore, I’ll just be happy here with my cats!”
One can understand their apprehension. It is easier to stay home, read, listen to music, and play on Facebook. As Nancy affirms, “it is much easier to deal with what I want to do then to compromise and do what someone else might want to do–and deal with all the drama that goes with it.”
Nancy hasn’t been intimate with a man in 5 years! It’s true, she has been working on herself so that she is fit to date (she was a drug & alcohol addict). So, it’s easy to understand…she’s cleaning up her act so she attracts the right kind of guy!
Jennifer broke up with her boyfriend 2 years ago. He was her first love, she was with him for 5 years and she just hasn’t been willing to open herself up again. Yes, the pain of losing love is huge but to cut herself off from all the love that surrounds her is such a shame. If you haven’t heard the song from Simon & Garfunkel, “I AM A ROCK”, you should listen to it and hear the lyrics. Here are a few of them…
“I am a rock, I am an island…
and a rock feels no pain and an island never cries”
Yeah, it’s true, you can avoid the pain and avoid the crying but in doing that you also avoid the pleasure of sharing yourself with another person. There is something so amazing about finding someone you have some chemistry with and just being who you are and letting the chemistry go to a warm, fun place!
Tina recently ended a long marriage. It had gotten to a stale, boring place—“I never thought I would have a hot & heavy kissing session with anyone ever again”, she said, “well, that just isn’t the case anymore, I opened myself up and met someone”. While there was drama, indeed, the joy of FEELING the warmth and thrill of another person again–when she thought it would never happen again–was worth the drama over and over again.
Then, what if they change their mind and decide they don’t want to share that intimacy with you anymore? Well hell, at least you know you took a chance and put yourself out there. So what if it doesn’t turn into the love of your life, at least you had an opportunity to share space with someone who you felt a connection with.
Somehow, the sound of being a rock just doesn’t sound very appealing. Here’s more from the song…
“I have my books and my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me”
It doesn’t matter what age you are, the nineteen year old woman or the widowed 75 year old–Don just got married again at 75! You can Love and be Loved. So what if you take some tumbles and fall on your face, at least you experienced the thrill of being close with another human being!
“I’ve built walls, a fortress deep and mighty,
that none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship;
friendship causes pain,
it’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain”
We learn something from every person that walks into our lives. We don’t always know what that is at the time, but it always reveals itself. Some people are in our lives for a very short time and others remain in our lives for years and years. Everyone has a place.
Here are some powerful affirmations for the day…
I AM OPEN. I AM ALL THAT IS. I SPEAK OF LOVE. I AM A WELL OF LOVE. What sounds better, being a rock that feels no pain or a vibrant vessel of light that FEELS?
One thought on “Are You A Rock?”
Thumbs up to that! I am at the final stages of a relationship with a younger man – I always knew it had no future ie it wasn’t leading to marriage or commitment, he wantes kids I cannot give him due to my age – but I have had great moments of laughter, love, and passion – and of course pain …. an open heart knows its going to hurt, but a closed heart never realizes the other type of hurt of not feeling, nor the price … life is about loving and trusting oneself to feel …