Dilapidated Dreams

Have you ever driven by a business that you remember was once thriving and now it is dilapidated because of neglect?  In your memory,  it was busy and successful– the place was always maintained with the utmost care and cleanliness; there were  customers bustling in and out  and it was alive and thriving.  Then, years later, you drive by to see an establishment that has been abandoned.

That’s what happened today when I drove by the old Chevron station in Malibu.  It is now infused with weeds, cracked cement, and an old wire fence surrounding it.  The sight of it just hit me really hard.

I guess what  moved me was that it can be a metaphor for our lives, our health, and our dreams.  Unfortunately, some people do this very thing with their  health–they just stop the upkeep.  They decide to just let it go and discontinue maintenance of the premises.

The sight of this was so dramatic.  Honestly, health is one thing that I do maintain, but what about my dreams?  I have caught myself saying “I used to want to be…” a lot.  I’ve said that phrase  several times within the last year.  I admit, I have let some of my goals and dreams grow wild with weeds.  The weeds represent my doubts, my fears, my inaction.

I’ve noticed a trend in how I handle life and success.  It seems that once I reach what I’d wanted, I become a little complacent, stagnant.    It’s almost like I want to rest awhile before I start striving again.  It’s usually during that rest and relaxation that depression sets in because I’m not keeping up with my new desires.

Perhaps it was all the years I spent in college that conditioned me to strive and take a break once I achieved a thing.  As one of my favorite teachers, Abraham-Hicks, says “reach and find balance”.  I think I’ve been spending too much time at the balance point and then level off there for a bit too long.

Because I’ve been pondering these thoughts, people and circumstances have been showing up for me in a synchronistic way.  The other day, as  I was riding one of my favorite mountain biking trails in Malibu,  I met a rider who exhibited such skill and confidence.  It turns out, he is a former pro down hill rider.  He was just so masterful and playful.  It seems like he was in my space to show me that there’s always another level to get to.  There are no words to describe his skill and ability–I was utterly amazed at what I saw.  No, I don’t want to ride with that kind of gusto because it is amazingly fast and dangerous, but it was just an indication that there is always room to grow and improve.  There is always more to learn–a higher level to reach.

On the opposite end of that, I have a girlfriend who truly inspires me.  She grew up and never learned how to ride a bike.  Now, after all these years of owning that fact, she is now stepping into the truth of what is possible–she has taken on learning how to ride a bike.  I met up with her yesterday to ride our bikes together.  It was her 3rd or 4th time on the bike.  She knows she looks like a beginner but, honestly, she is so full of grace as she loses balance or has to stop suddenly.  She is  reaching beyond what she’s always been and silencing her ego.  She will not stay in that place.  Her courage is so inspiring to me.

What showed up for me next was a Joel Osteen  sermon.   Joel Osteen is one speaker I love listening to.  His words spoke directly to how I’ve been feeling.  Joel says, “One of the battles we all have to fight is the battle of containment.  The enemy doesn’t want you to go any further.  He can’t do anything about the ground that you have already gained, he’ll give you that.  But what he doesn’t want is for you to advance.  His goal is to keep you contained.  That’s why it can be very difficult to press through to a new level.  There are forces working overtime to try to keep us where we are.  Many people are too easily satisfied…instead of stretching and believing in bigger things they get stuck.”

The reference to “he”,  for me, is the ego.  The ego doesn’t want us to grow and stretch, it wants things to be just as they are–no growth, just comfortable contentment.  The ego has a hard time with not being good enough.  Trudging through all the pain and humiliation of achieving a new level of skill or taking on something totally new is far too much for the ego.   There is a lot to learn and it will take time to gather the skills.  That’s why the two extremes of my new friend Gary (the pro) and my girlfriend (the beginner) speak volumes to me.  In each case, it really takes something to get to a new level.

Joel’s words were just what I needed.  Fear has been presenting itself to me often these days.  There are new career endeavors I’d like to venture into, but I seem to be stopped by fear.  When you’ve been in one field for most of your life, the thought of  even claiming you can be something else is daunting.  But since the new career I want to embark upon is in the creative realm,  I just need to step into it.  There isn’t any formal education I need to apply for, I just need to be it in my mind first, then I will be it in the world.  Sounds easy!  In reality FEAR is false–False Expectations Appearing Real.

Yes indeed, it’s time to take on bigger and better dreams and turn them into reality.  Where I am is not where I’m going to stay.  Yes, I’m proud of what I’ve achieved so far, but there is always more thrill.  The thrill really does come from reaching for something greater, becoming more than I once was, and finding balance in that new place.   Inspiration has shown itself to me and I do believe I have some weeding to do!

Synchronicity Swirling Around Me

The day started like any other day at The Malibu Gym.  

Greg, one of the trainers,  was wearing a “Drill” shirt.  Arnold made a comment that his shirt should say “sargeant” after the Drill logo.  Greg said, “well, I’ll see what Craig can do about that”.  Craig is the owner of Drill.  I haven’t seen Craig since the beginning days of working at the gym…probably 18 years ago.  I have had many Drill shirts but I thought Drill went out of business and I haven’t seen Craig in a very long time.

I went on with my day and was at the local Starbucks when a good looking man caught my eye.  He had his dog sit at the edge of the parking space while he walked away, then he called the dog to come.  As he got close, I commented, “that is one well-trained dog”.  He agreed and I couldn’t help but notice his amazing blue eyes AND the fact that he was wearing a Drill shirt.

I had owned a shirt just like the one he was wearing.  Then, I went to my car and sat with my door open while I talked to a girlfriend on the phone.  I watched the blue-eyed guy go inside the store next to the Starbucks.  I knew that it was a skate board/surf type shop but then noticed it was “Drill”.  Then, as I sat there longer, the owner,  Craig (who Greg had mentioned earlier)  came out of the store.

There was something about that beautiful blue eyed guy.  Not only was he wearing a Drill shirt, but on the very same day, I saw the owner who was mentioned earlier when Arnold and I commented on Greg’s Drill shirt.  Synchronicity swirling around me is all I can say…

I found it interesting that all those events took place in one day.  The next couple of Wednesday’s I went into that Starbucks hoping to see the blue-eyed guy, but not to be seen.

Two Weeks Later…30 miles South.

I was in Santa Monica at the local farmers market.  As I sat waiting for my friend I noticed a man that looked like the man I noticed 2 weeks earlier.  Sure enough, I could see his blue eyes from 15 feet away,  I looked to see where he went and there was his dog that verified it was him.

I couldn’t resist so I approached him and asked if he lived in Malibu…that I remembered him and his well-trained dog.  It turns out, he works in Malibu and lives out my way as well.  He trains horses.  I shared with him the first place I lived in Malibu was on a private horse ranch.  My landlord had taken me to a few great clinics to learn riding techniques.  He wondered which ones?   I could only remember one of the techniques that really stood out for me and shared that.  He said, “when and where was this clinic”.  I knew it was sometime in 1992 since that’s when I lived there.  He said, “wow, you took a clinic with Buck Brannaman”.  “Yes, that was the name”, I said, “I remember it felt like I was in the presence of a real master”.

He went onto tell me that Buck Brannaman was the consultant to the movie The Horse Whisperer.  He said that he’s never known anyone who had such a freakish way with horses…amazing man.  Turns out, he was going to a clinic the very next day to see Buck Brannaman in Montana.  I shared with him the synchronistic events that ocurred 2 weeks prior and now it felt like even more synchronistic events were happening.

I find it so very interesting that he could be someone who caught my eye in Malibu and I was hoping to see him on the days I go into Malibu when in fact, he lives close by me and I got to see him and talk to him again.  Then, if that’s not enough, as I was hiking with a friend and telling her about all these events, she said, “wait a minute, I know who you’re talking about”.  She assists a teacher in a yoga class and he has been to her class and she has had enough conversations with him to know that he is a horse trainer.  Of course, the blue eyes and the dog confirmed that we are talking about the same guy!!!

This is a small world and we vibrate strongly enough to pull in the people we want to pull into our vortex!  If you pay attention and find some awareness in your own lives, I promise,   you will see the same crazy synchronistic events.  Enjoy them, that’s what they’re for!!!

Just a post note:  I wrote this a few months ago.  Recently, I sat down at a different Starbucks in Malibu to edit it.  I had my head buried in my computer when a man walked up and asked if I was reading the newspaper on my table…I looked up and it was this same man that I am writing about!!!

Another note:  there have been a few other times I’ve seen him, he is clearly not the least bit interested in me.  However, there is something that keeps pulling his presence into my space.  I’m just going to wait and see what happens next.  Whatever the case may be, it’s fun to notice!

Puma Power

We call me Nature Girl Tara for many reasons and today’s event was one of them.  I was out hiking and as I began the trail, a young woman approached me coming the other way and said she had just seen a Mountain Lion!

I eased her fear a bit and said that if she wanted to join me on the hike, she could hike with me and I would protect her.  She had turned around after seeing the Mountain Lion in her first 5 minutes on the trail.

I have come face to face with a Mountain Lion before (I was on my mountain bike) and the Puma was afraid but not too afraid.  She was ahead of me on the trail and ran into the bushes.  As I approached that spot I had marked with my eyes in the bushes, I looked in and her big green eyes were peering out at me.  As we made eye contact, she shrunk back a bit.  I began talking to her… “I see you.  I’m not afraid of you.  You’re fine.”

The fact is, I wasn’t afraid.  I was absolutely thrilled to be in the presence of such a wild animal.  So, as Sam and I made our way toward our destination 2.5 miles ahead, I explained what you should do if you come upon a mountain lion–it isn’t what I did in my face to face encounter but this is what YOU should do.

The first rule is, DON’T RUN!  They are kind of like men, they love the chase.  If you run, they chase–that’s just their instinct.  The second rule is, talk loud and sound mean and stand as tall as you can possibly stand.  They are afraid of you if you carry yourself with a confidence and a knowing that All is Well.

In Sam’s case, the Puma ran first, at which point Sam ran the other way.  Luckily, the Puma was scared first.  As we entered the woods, it felt like we were on the Avatar set itself.  Everything was lush and green with vines and ivy all around.

Even though I felt like being calm and quiet because of the serene environment, I was TALKING VERY LOUD for the sake of the potential Puma looming in the bushes!  It was necessary to put Sam and I at ease and make sure that I followed my own advice.

The hike turned into one of the most magical days for both of us.   We talked about everything…  moving to L A, love,  law of attraction, life’s purpose, goals, dreams, relationships.

I was happy to have her company because I am a Trail Guide by nature and I love to interact with the people I hike with.  I had a hike scheduled that day but the people flaked.   I had intended on driving all the way to Malibu, but something in me said, “turn” as I approached Will Rogers Historic State Park off Sunset Blvd.  And so, I turned!

Perhaps, no not perhaps, I’m sure I was supposed to meet Sam today.  We were able to enhance each other in various ways and it made for a measurable, magical morning.  I am grateful.  I’ve heard it said at The Agape International Spiritual Center, “I am an answered prayer”.

Perhaps I was the answered prayer for Sam today, otherwise, she would have abandoned the hike within the first 5 minutes.  Sam was there for me so that I could share my beloved trails with somebody who had a strong desire to be there.

The Mountain Lion was there to bring Sam a message.  As Ted Andrews, the author of  “Animal Speak” says in his book,  when we are out in the wild,  the animals we encounter are there to bring us a message… “when Cougar (Puma/Mountain Lion) shows up as a totem for you, it is a message to come into your own power.  People may not like your asserting and may want to keep you in the category they have always kept you in.   The Cougar teaches you how to take charge of your life and your circumstances most effectively.

So many lessons are out on the trails of our lives, we just have to be willing. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says:

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.”

So many magical moments on that 3 hour hike…  Synchronicity is the one word I will use to describe it.  I will leave it at that and urge you out into the wild.  You never know what, or who,  you’ll encounter out there, but you have to be willing to get yourself out in it and be open to learn the lessons as they appear!