Thank You–It’s A Miracle

This morning when I awoke, I took a deep breath and silently said, Thank You (it’s a miracle).  I had attended a Japanese Master’s workshop on Saturday.  He explained that in ancient Japan, the phrase “Thank You” was filled with revery and awe and it meant, “it’s a miracle”.  He said, they once lived each moment as if they would die in 5 minutes–especially the Samurai.  Today, the phrase is just used as a polite business catch phrase.  He encouraged us to use it as it was originally intended thousands of years ago–we could die in 5 minutes.

As I thought about my breath and felt the miraculousness of it, I remembered the pregnant woman I had massaged yesterday with the new life ready to emerge.  Really, we’re all a miracle every day!  I slept through the night again, after all these years, and I have new life in a whole new day.  The baby is new life and we recognize that with more clarity because it’s new but when we really look at it, we are all a miracle.  We are, in every moment, new!

I have noticed it with almost everything: puppies, kittens, babies,  relationships.  When we look at the young animals and kids, they are refreshing and as cute as can be.  Somehow, as they get a little older, we begin to take them for granted.  Relationships are the same–whether they are relationships with others or ourselves, we take them for granted and just expect that they will be here the next day.

The Japanese Master told us about his grandmother.  At the age of 70 she started rock climbing and at the age of 80 she started downhill skiing.  Everyone tried to stop her and convince her she was too old, but she did it anyway.  She lived as the ancient Japanese did–fully alive and present with every moment.  Then, something tragic happened–she was hit by a truck.  She is gone from this realm but she was an inspiration to her grandson on how to live life. She lived fully!

I am cultivating a new practice and that will be the practice of taking that first deep breath and saying “Thank You (It’s A Miracle)”.  As much as I can be present to the miracle that I am, I will be.  I will not take you or me for granted because every minute in life is a miracle!  Thank You.

Good Vibrations!

My dog, Sebastian, decided to run out of the gate when it opened.  This is something he has done before but always returns within 20 minutes.  Usually, we just know he’ll be coming home soon and he does.  He just needs to run wild and get a thrill.  This time though, after two hours had passed, I became a bit anxious.

My Facebook status up-date from the previous day was “Worry is a waste of your imagination”.  I was to be tested on this day!

I decided to cancel my Christmas party plans and stay home in case anyone found him and called the number on his tag.  No calls.  I kept seeing him, in my mind’s eye,  coming up to the gate and looking up into my eyes like he always does with that intent, sensitive, sweetness.  Unfortunately, I also had visions, although brief, of him being stuck in the canyon with Coyotes surrounding him or somewhere on the street involved with a car.

As quickly as those visions entered my mind, I pushed them out with visions of him looking into my eyes.  I told my house mate that he was probably laying on a nice lawn somewhere just enjoying the moments.  She was doubtful but I had seen him do this on our walks so often that I didn’t doubt it.  I was hopeful but becoming more anxious by the hours that passed.

Several hours had gone by now.  After walking the neighborhood, driving the neighborhood and checking out the canyon behind the house, I had to go to sleep.  At 5am, after 15 hours had passed, Sebastian arrived home.  My house mate let him in the house and I could hear the familiar running down the hallway.  I jumped up and ran into the hall.  “Is that him, is he here”?

As he had ran out the back door and heard my voice, he ran back in and looked at me with those eyes.  My vision came true!

I have no idea where he had been for 15 hours.  This was the first time he’d been gone for more than 20 minutes.  I truly believe that my vibration and love for him, pulled him to me.  I kept seeing and feeling his loving presence out there enjoying life and seeing his loving eyes staring me down.  I am so grateful that I used my imagination to see what I wanted to see instead of worry about what I didn’t want to see.   I am grateful and I love this dog!

Synchronicity Swirling Around Me

The day started like any other day at The Malibu Gym.  

Greg, one of the trainers,  was wearing a “Drill” shirt.  Arnold made a comment that his shirt should say “sargeant” after the Drill logo.  Greg said, “well, I’ll see what Craig can do about that”.  Craig is the owner of Drill.  I haven’t seen Craig since the beginning days of working at the gym…probably 18 years ago.  I have had many Drill shirts but I thought Drill went out of business and I haven’t seen Craig in a very long time.

I went on with my day and was at the local Starbucks when a good looking man caught my eye.  He had his dog sit at the edge of the parking space while he walked away, then he called the dog to come.  As he got close, I commented, “that is one well-trained dog”.  He agreed and I couldn’t help but notice his amazing blue eyes AND the fact that he was wearing a Drill shirt.

I had owned a shirt just like the one he was wearing.  Then, I went to my car and sat with my door open while I talked to a girlfriend on the phone.  I watched the blue-eyed guy go inside the store next to the Starbucks.  I knew that it was a skate board/surf type shop but then noticed it was “Drill”.  Then, as I sat there longer, the owner,  Craig (who Greg had mentioned earlier)  came out of the store.

There was something about that beautiful blue eyed guy.  Not only was he wearing a Drill shirt, but on the very same day, I saw the owner who was mentioned earlier when Arnold and I commented on Greg’s Drill shirt.  Synchronicity swirling around me is all I can say…

I found it interesting that all those events took place in one day.  The next couple of Wednesday’s I went into that Starbucks hoping to see the blue-eyed guy, but not to be seen.

Two Weeks Later…30 miles South.

I was in Santa Monica at the local farmers market.  As I sat waiting for my friend I noticed a man that looked like the man I noticed 2 weeks earlier.  Sure enough, I could see his blue eyes from 15 feet away,  I looked to see where he went and there was his dog that verified it was him.

I couldn’t resist so I approached him and asked if he lived in Malibu…that I remembered him and his well-trained dog.  It turns out, he works in Malibu and lives out my way as well.  He trains horses.  I shared with him the first place I lived in Malibu was on a private horse ranch.  My landlord had taken me to a few great clinics to learn riding techniques.  He wondered which ones?   I could only remember one of the techniques that really stood out for me and shared that.  He said, “when and where was this clinic”.  I knew it was sometime in 1992 since that’s when I lived there.  He said, “wow, you took a clinic with Buck Brannaman”.  “Yes, that was the name”, I said, “I remember it felt like I was in the presence of a real master”.

He went onto tell me that Buck Brannaman was the consultant to the movie The Horse Whisperer.  He said that he’s never known anyone who had such a freakish way with horses…amazing man.  Turns out, he was going to a clinic the very next day to see Buck Brannaman in Montana.  I shared with him the synchronistic events that ocurred 2 weeks prior and now it felt like even more synchronistic events were happening.

I find it so very interesting that he could be someone who caught my eye in Malibu and I was hoping to see him on the days I go into Malibu when in fact, he lives close by me and I got to see him and talk to him again.  Then, if that’s not enough, as I was hiking with a friend and telling her about all these events, she said, “wait a minute, I know who you’re talking about”.  She assists a teacher in a yoga class and he has been to her class and she has had enough conversations with him to know that he is a horse trainer.  Of course, the blue eyes and the dog confirmed that we are talking about the same guy!!!

This is a small world and we vibrate strongly enough to pull in the people we want to pull into our vortex!  If you pay attention and find some awareness in your own lives, I promise,   you will see the same crazy synchronistic events.  Enjoy them, that’s what they’re for!!!

Just a post note:  I wrote this a few months ago.  Recently, I sat down at a different Starbucks in Malibu to edit it.  I had my head buried in my computer when a man walked up and asked if I was reading the newspaper on my table…I looked up and it was this same man that I am writing about!!!

Another note:  there have been a few other times I’ve seen him, he is clearly not the least bit interested in me.  However, there is something that keeps pulling his presence into my space.  I’m just going to wait and see what happens next.  Whatever the case may be, it’s fun to notice!

Please Forgive Me

I am at Peace.  My father is at Peace.  My father died a couple weeks ago.  I grew up without a father.  I only met him in person 4 times.  I was 10 when my mother drove us across Country from Michigan to California to visit him.  As a young girl who always wondered about her father, I was thrilled.

The next time I met him I was 16, it was his parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary.  He invited me out to California to visit him anytime.  I thought he was so cool.  In all my years growing up though, he never wrote me, sent cards, answered the  letters I wrote to him.  The older I got, the more I made that mean something about him and something about me.  I began to form all kinds of negative feelings toward him.

The third time I met him was a few years ago.  I attended an intensive weekend event called the Landmark Forum.  The Landmark Forum helped me see that things happen to us and we have our own interpretation about what happened.

After years of no communication, I simply thought he didn’t care about any of his children.  I thought he had no conscience, I thought he was a bad person.  However, after finishing The Landmark Forum, I contacted my father and we created a new relationship.  We let go of the constraints of the past and started from nothing–it was so freeing.

I realized, with his help, that there are two sides to every story and the truth usually lies somewhere in between.  I learned a lot about my father in those few years.  I found lots of compassion for him.  Growing up he had gone to a total of 26 elementary schools.  TWENTY SIX!  His father had a job that kept relocating them.  Imagine how hard it would be to create lasting bonds with people.

He was young when he and my mother were together, he was still learning life and she and we were part of his learning.  He went on to have 3 more wives, and 2 more children in addition to the 5 he had with my mother.

In his last 22 years, he was married to Vicki.  She is an amazing woman and he raised her two kids from a very young age.  He confided in her everything about his life and she loved him deeply.  He was a great father for Linda and Michael and they loved and respected him all their lives.  Even so, he had so much regret and remorse over his past and he always shared with Vicki, the pain he carried with him.  Vicki understood him completely.

Just before he died, he was in a lot of pain the night before and kept waking Vicki and Linda.   Finally, come morning, he was calmer and he just kept telling them, “take my boots off”, “take my boots off”.  They couldn’t figure out what he meant???

After my father died in Vicki’s arms, she realized what he had been referring to.  His very first child with my mom was Jay Ann.  She died of Leukemia at the age of 3.  When he and my mom would bring her home from the hospital after getting a treatment, she would have extra energy and be full of fun and laughter.  She would go and slip her little feet into his big boots and run around.  He chased her and would say, “take my boots off”.  It was a joyful time for him…just to see her happy and full of life and energy.

My father was getting closer to that state of Pure, Positive, Energy that comes with passing.  He was happy and thrilled that he would be in that place with his first child Jay Ann.  The place is what we can all find glimpses of here, in this realm,  if we just try.  A place where there is no pain or guilt or judgment.  A place where there is only joy and vibrant energy.  A place, where if you learn to “let go” and forgive, you can be free.

My sister Valorie was able to meet him when she came out for a visit to California (she still lives in Michigan).  She is one of the most OPEN people I know and she was able to let go of the pain of years of no communication.    My brother Kevin had no bad feelings toward him, he had lived with him for a time when he was 18 and had made peace with any ill feeling he may have had.  My oldest sister was never able to speak to him again.

I feel so fortunate to be able to say that I am at Peace with his passing.  I cleared my body of all the negativity that comes along with not being able to forgive.  Forgiveness is not something we give to the other person, it’s something we give to ourselves.  Most importantly, I asked him to forgive me for all the judgments I made about him.  I came to know what compassion really is–the ability to see someone the way their Source sees them. Source=God=Infinite Intelligence.

My father was a good man.  He had so much going for him and I was able to see through all the veils I had in front of me regarding him and who he was.  We are all here doing the best we can and I feel fortunate to have been able to call him “Dad” later in life.  I AM AT PEACE!

You Live You Learn

I spend lots of time with  amazing women.  Most of them are younger than me and some of my best friends are as much as 20 years younger than me.  Lately, I’ve caught myself thinking, “gosh, she is so aware and enlightened for her age”.  Sometimes I feel like they are so far ahead of me than I was at their age.

As I’ve thought more about this, I realize that I was on that track when I was their age.  The only difference there is between us is life experience.  That’s what I love about getting older, I am getting more and more with every passing day.  The more life I get to live, the more life I get to live.

Sometimes we forget how far we’ve come and how great we were, even all those years ago.  I was fabulous then and I am fabulous NOW.

I remember when I was a bit younger than these women, I read the book, “You Can Have It All” by Arnold Patent.  It had such an affect on me and I will always remember some of the quotes that I couldn’t help but memorize… “Our bodies are extraordinary instruments with literally unlimited potential, whatever we believe they are capable of doing, they can do.  We limit them with our limited thoughts about their capabilities”. And the other thought changing quote that stands out for me,  “We create our lives with our thoughts and since there’s no limit to what we can think, there’s no limit to what our life experiences can be”.

Another great book that I read nearer the beginning of my path was, “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy.  The stories of power moved me more than I can express.

Then there was “Psycho Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz.  Let’s not forget “Love, Medicine, and Miracles” by Bernie Siegel.  It was a powerful introduction into the world of Psychoneuroimmunology.   Psychoneuroimmunology is the study of how our thoughts can affect our healing.  These books inspired me to study Sports Psychology and earn my Masters Degree.  Sports Psychology is using mental techniques to enhance performance.  The good news has always been, this is not limited to sports, it can be used daily in our lives to alter our life experiences.

One of the best speakers I’ve ever heard is Donald Trump.  I know, some people have a hard time with Donald Trump, he is controversial.  I have had the pleasure, though, of hearing him speak on a couple different occasions.  He is amazing because of his life experience.  He tells some great stories because he has lived life.

There is something so comforting about this…he has lived life.  He has failed and succeeded and failed some more.  I’m sure he was alert and aware at 28 and now he is still alert and aware, he just has more experience that adds to the richness of life and to the wonder of his storytelling.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is another great storyteller.  I’ve seen him evolve throughout my own years of growth.  He is living and experiencing life and he just keeps expanding in his life and in his teachings.  Honestly, I could sit for hours unending listening to the stories he weaves in with his teaching!

Age is not something that freaks me out or brings me down, it just IS.  It doesn’t define me or limit me in any way.  I surround myself with some amazing women.  They see me for me and they don’t judge me by my chronological age.  They embrace me and accept me as an individual who just keeps growing right along with the whole of life.

I am just so impressed with the women in my life.  I love watching them grow, learn and evolve.  They teach me and inspire me on the path they’re on.  Age means nothing because our lives are shaped by our willingness to learn, expand, and ultimately transcend time.  I’m not a number that is limited,  I am an infinite expression of life…and so are YOU.  Oh and by the way–they have been telling some great stories of their own!

Be Open

One of my favorite affirmations these days is, “I AM OPEN TO EVERYTHING AND ATTACHED TO NOTHING”. When I live with this intention, some of the most amazing things happen.

Last weekend, a series of events occurred that reinforce my belief in staying tapped in, tuned in, and turned on to the positive flow of energy all around us. I had the opportunity to attend my high school reunion last weekend.

At first, I didn’t think I was going to go. All the names of the people who RSVP’d were people that I didn’t hang out with in high school. They were all the jocks and I knew them but I didn’t have a strong bond with them. Then,  I thought I should put my name on the RSVP list so that I might attract some of the people I did hang out with.

When I arrived at the reunion, I studied the list of people who were inside the room already and not one of them stood out as someone I wanted to reconnect with. This was not a good attitude and I decided to change it immediately. I decided to go in and find out about people instead of go in and feel like I had no connection.

That is exactly what I did. I love finding out about people in general and I went into my interview mode. I loved it. I had so much fun and started to feel a connection brewing. Then, I noticed NOBODY was dancing. I grabbed a couple of women (who I did not know) and began dancing. We managed to recruit a guy out there with us who recruited another guy.

By the end of the night, as the song “Last Dance” by Donna Summer played, almost everyone in the room was out there on the floor. I was glowing with joy. Even though I didn’t really know these people in high school, I knew them now and created a connection out on that floor.

Later in the evening as I talked to one of the guys who had organized the event, I found out that his mother still kept in touch with his brothers widow. My very best friend in high school married his brother (his brother has since passed on). I haven’t spoken to her in a VERY long time. At the age of 16, she got caught up in a downward spiral of drugs and sex and I don’t know what else. We ended our friendship. We had been friends from the age of 3 until 16.

The long and the short of all of this is…I believe the reason I went to that reunion was not to dance the night away with a bunch of people I didn’t really know, but it was to get the number of my childhood soul mate. We were so close, we were so connected, we knew everything about each other and vowed to always be friends.

I called my friend the next night (Johnnies mom gave me her phone number). She has been clean and sober for 12 years now. We exchanged our small talk and then really started to share ourselves with each other. She told me she had had a dream about me a few weeks earlier. She woke up from the dream feeling really good. Clear.

I asked her where she worked and when she told me the name of the restaurant, I told her that my mom and I had been in there about a month ago. It was a little out of the ordinary since it wasn’t a place near where we live. Then, she told me her first memory of me. The crazy thing about that memory is that I’ve been thinking about it a lot–wondering if it really existed.

We were 3 and 4 years old, throwing rocks to each other and she threw a rock at me and I have the scar to prove it on my forehead. I was never sure if that was how I got the scar….she confirmed that the memory was very vivid in her mind.

The 13 years we were friends growing up felt like a lifetime and the over 25 years we haven’t spoken didn’t even feel as long as the time we spent living life to the fullest in our childhood. We are friends again and we will always be friends now. My Thanksgiving couldn’t have been more perfect.

The moral of the story is…be OPEN TO EVERYTHING AND ATTACHED TO NOTHING. I wasn’t going to let the fact that I knew no one at my high school reunion stop me from attending. Had I been attached to the outcome of the reunion (a friend of mine thought I might meet the next love of my life), I would not have been open to the events that followed.

Imagine what I would have missed had I not gotten interested in others–I would have never found out about my long lost friend from Johnnie! I have the first friend I’ve ever known in my life back in my life. I AM AMAZED AT HOW THE UNIVERSE LINES THINGS UP FOR ME. I AM GRATEFUL! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!