California–Letting The Dream Go

I remember my second visit to California, I was 18 years old and loving this place!  Near the end of my trip, I read some graffiti on a freeway overpass, “Tourists GO HOME”!  I remember feeling really bad when I read it, almost like I had been personally attacked.

I couldn’t understand how someone would want me to go home.  I thought to myself, “gosh if I lived here, I would want to meet all the people that came from all over the world to visit”.  That’s just how I am, I love finding out about people.

I’m still the same way all these years later, if I meet somebody new I want to know all about them.  I’ve lived in this state for 20 years now and I feel as if I was born here.  I wasn’t born here, but I did live here when I was a baby and I feel as if California is in my bones.  I love this place, it is so magnificent!

Where else can you go to the beach then take a 2 to 5 hour drive and be in the mountains with snow?  Everywhere I go here, I feel at home.

California!  I’ve been up and down the coast and everywhere I go is total bliss.  It really is no wonder that people want to visit here, let alone move here.  If you knew what we had to endure in Michigan, you would have a heart and be okay with us being here.  While it is true, there are lots of people and cars, how can you blame them all?  This a a gorgeous place!

I remember one of the women at the gym complaining about all the cars flooding from the valley to go to the beach.  She said, “vals, go home, we don’t want you here”.  It’s funny, I thought to myself, she moved here from Ontario Canada–who is she to talk?  Vals are the people who live in the San Fernando Valley.  It is a good 15-25 degrees hotter than on the beach.  Gosh, they deserve to enjoy the beach.  I can see it from both sides, though.  When I spend most of my time up and down the coast because I work in Malibu and live in Brentwood, there can be a huge amount of traffic in the summer months because of everyone flooding to the beach.  It’s all good though, we’re just enjoying where we get to live and play!

I enjoy where I live and play every day.  Today, as I drove the stretch of PCH that takes me to my long time place of work, The Malibu Gym, I marveled at the beauty of Point Dume’ in the distance.  Honestly, I don’t think there has been one day in the 20 years I’ve been driving that coast that I haven’t been in awe of the sight of it when I see it.  I do wonder, how is it possible to love a place so much?

The month of June, 2011 marked 20 years of living in California.  From the age of 10, I spent 20 years dreaming of living in California.  Some might say it became everything I focused upon.  The DJ in the college cafeteria only had to see me and know that it was time to play my song, “California Dreamin”.  Class after class of teaching, I always ended in the relaxed visualizing mode and saw myself here, happy and vibrant!  Then, after years of postponing my move either because of school or a job or a boyfriend,  I made it happen.  I had dreamed and visualized and listened and dreamed some more and then I moved to California.  I had no car, no job, no place to live–I just had to be here once and for all.

So many dreams came true for me.  I live the lifestyle I lived when I lived in Michigan.  I lived it in my own little world there because my environment didn’t really support it.  Today, I am surrounded by health food stores, healthy restaurants,  nature abounding everywhere I turn, near perfect weather, people I adore and so much more!

I love the life I’ve created.  I ride my bike, I hike the trails, practice yoga at my choice of a plethora of studios.  I live in a neighborhood that simply must be one of the prettiest in the country.  Abundance surrounds me in every direction I turn.  I am worthy of it all because I brought it to life with my visions and my strong desire.

Now, after 20 years of fully embracing and loving this place, I had the thought of letting it go.  Let it go and move onto something different.  I am open to that.  Montana seems to be pulsing in my radar these days.  Colorado is another place calling to me although the thought of the Winter months don’t really appeal to me.   Hawaii could work for me.  Or, I could stay here and just keep living it in the blissful fashion I’ve carved out for myself.

The feeling I had, though, when I let go of the need to be here and the need to stay here was so freeing.   By letting go, we simply surrender to either something better or keeping that which we have.  It was obvious I had been clinging to being here.  I could feel such a total sense of freedom when I just let go.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? ”I am open to everything and attached to nothing”.  That sounds like a good plan.  I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer say it many years ago and until you experience it in one area of life, you won’t really know how good it feels.  I am feeling this way in several areas of life and it feels like a dream–as  good as the California dream I had all those years ago!

Baffled by Bottle Brush

I was at the end of taking a group on a hike in Malibu.  It was a magical day as always.  One of the hikers and I landed on a curb to do some stretching.  The tree that lined the curb was a gorgeous bottle brush tree.  I mentioned that they happen to be my favorite tree, she concurred–they were her favorite as well.

We simply began basking and appreciating this tree and everything about it and all the others we have seen.  She spoke of the bottle brush tree she has in her back yard.  We went on and on about this tree,  just loving it up!

We said our goodbyes and I was onto the next phase of my day.  A few hours later as I was driving to my next appointment, there was a bunch of traffic on the main street so I chose to take a side street.  As I drove block after block after block, all I saw on each side of the street was bottle brush trees.  I was literally immersed in bottle brush trees.  Every size and shape was represented on this street–some were groomed and some were wildly growing in every direction.

All I could do was gasp and tears began rolling down my face.  This was clearly the power of the universe bringing me more of what I was so fervently appreciating earlier.  Oh, to be sure, Law of Attraction abounds and is at work in every part of our days.  This is just a simple example of how easy it can be to manifest.  Are you noticing?

Diary of A Massage Therapist

I feel fortunate to have learned the skill of giving massage.  I am a nurturing,  compassionate person so being a massage therapist is in sync with those natural qualities.

I am so very impressed with people who trust enough.  When you think about it, a perfect stranger is entrusting their body to me, another perfect stranger–that’s a big deal!  I don’t take it lightly when someone trusts me to put my hands on them in a loving, non-judgmental way.

There is something so blissful about getting a massage.  When it feels good and you relax, time is non-existent and you drift into a place of peace and deep euphoria.  In the same way, there is so much beauty for me to observe someone getting a massage.  At times, lately, I feel as if I get to see God while giving massages.  God is the place in each and every one of us where we are happy, content, compassionate,  and love ourselves.  To me, God is a place where there is no stress, no rush, no worry, no inhibition.  It is a place where we just trust and allow.  We know that all is well in this moment.

Today,  I had a client return for a second massage.  The first massage was somewhat forced, his wife bought him a gift certificate and he didn’t really want to come.  At the end of the massage he said, “I knew I was stressed out, but I had no idea there was so much stress in my body”.

So today after arriving, he said that people in his life commented on his appearance the day after his massage–that he looked 10 years younger.  He felt it too.  He woke up in the middle of that night and was sweating profusely, obviously his body was letting go of all the stress that had built up.  “I honestly think you saved my life”, he said.

Comments like that make my day worth living–give me a little more impetus to keep on healing.   “You have healing hands”, “You have great energy”, “I am so relaxed”, “How do you know the right places to focus in on”?  The comments are great and keep me motivated and they all come from the place of perfection-God.

One sentiment I always incorporate into every massage is my Namaste’ greeting.  I say it quietly to myself but I see their face and their essence receiving the truth, love, and peace I wish for them.

Namaste’:  I honor the place in you where the entire Universe dwells–the place where there is truth, love, peace, health, and abundance.  When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, we are ONE.

I feel fortune in my awareness.  I am a massage therapist and I see God with every massage I give!

Yoga Twists and Turns

I’ve been practicing yoga in Santa Monica for 13 years.  I’ve considered myself a yoga whore for most of those years.  Yoga whore, meaning I just jump from one teacher to the next and never really stay with one teacher on a weekly basis. Except for a few months practicing with Scott and learning the Ashtanga 1^st series,  I haven’t really connected with too many teachers.  Scott moved away and I was back to my old ways.

The teachers that I return to all have something to offer me while I’m in class, but I never feel the desire to practice with 1 teacher on a week to week basis…until I met Travis Eliot.  Travis has a way with words and an amazing voice that seems to touch me on a soul level.  He has figured out the perfect balance between the physical and spiritual elements of yoga.  It really works for me.

There is poetry in motion when practicing with Travis.  His words blend and glide along effortlessly and it tends to rub off on his students.  At the end of class, people seem rung out like a dish towel–in a good way.  We just let it go and let it flow.  Yes, it’s challenging, but when you’ve made it through, the day seems to start anew.

Over a year ago, I shared my Travis experience with my friend Brigitte.  She was similar to me in the exact opposite way–she never went and tried new teachers.  When I invited her to come and check out Travis’ class,  I guess I  swayed her to step out of that box.  She loved it and we made it a weekly event.  Sometimes we were able to go twice a week.

Going to yoga with someone else opened my world up in so many ways.  I started to feel like I belonged in that space and Travis started looking forward to seeing us.  We brightened his morning and he was the centerpiece of our days together.  After class, we’d usually walk a block or two in the heart of Santa Monica and get a healthy smoothy or a gorgeous green drink.  Truly, these were blissful days!

Month after month this was our routine…until it wasn’t.  You know, life gets in the way and schedules change and that’s what happened to being able to go to yoga with a friend.  We couldn’t coordinate going to that class so we were on our own.  I went back to my old ways and bounced around from studio to studio.

This last Thursday we were able to go to Travis’ class after not being there for months.  As we entered the studio, we lit up when we saw his face.  And yes, his face lit up when he saw us enter!

I have noticed that change is inevitable and things can’t always stay the same.  It’s a bit of a challenge when something good comes to an end because we long for it and remember how good it once was.

The thrill is to be able to get it back–if only for a day here and there.  A memory is fine but being there again was Divine!  Thank you Travis,  thank you Brigitte, having you both there made my dreams complete!

Stay tuned for the next yoga story… while jumping in and out of classes that matched our schedules, we found the female version of Travis–someone we wanted to go back to over and over again.  It was a different time slot, of course, and it will be a story that stands alone–next time!

I Love L A!!!

Maybe it’s just me, but I Love L A!  It seems like all I ever hear are people bad mouthing the traffic, the people, the air…pick a topic and Los Angeles seems to be an awful place to  be.

My experience just doesn’t match what everyone is complaining about.  Just yesterday I was up North in the Oakland area and the local driver was talking about when he lived in L A and all the traffic that just crept along.  I listened and tried not to voice my opinion when all of a sudden we were in traffic that was creeping along.  That was the opinion I was about to voice, “there’s traffic in any city you’re in”.

What is it that you’re focusing on?  Just then he was sharing about a deer that was in one of his neighbors yard under an apple tree.  “The deer ate so many apples, it was so full and just didn’t want to move”.  One of the women in the car replied, “we don’t even have deer in Los Angeles”.  Uhh, now I had to interject, “well in my neighborhood, I see deer  once or twice a week AND the deer are either in my backyard or in my neighborhood streets”.  My zip code is 90049 which is a Los Angeles zip code!

Why does everyone think L A is just a cement jungle.  I guess I’m just so fortunate to have lived in gorgeous areas…Malibu, Pacific Palisades, Brentwood.  Then, I heard the same woman say L A had no trees.  Gosh, I was becoming very active in their conversation, “well, I guess that depends on where you spend your time…I’m around trees and trails on a daily basis and I live in L A County anyway”.

Later the same day, a nice guy I had been dating sent me a text saying how happy he was that I wasn’t from L A.  Hmmm? People seem to think that anyone who grew up in L A is somehow snobby or fake.  Yes, I grew up in Michigan, but my heart is from L A and I would never judge all people who grew up in L A as tainted or bad.  In fact, one of my best friends is phenomenal and she is from L A.  I’m sure there are plenty of women who grew up here that aren’t the typical L A women that people have seemingly stereotyped.

I guess if you’re looking and expecting things to look a certain way, they’re going to look that way.  Expect people in L A to disappoint you and they will.  Expect traffic to suck and it will.  The Law of Attraction is always at work in every area of our lives.

I look for the most positive aspects of people and things and I love the people in my world and my environment.  I’ve created it and it’s right here in front of me.  What are you expecting?  What do you want to see?  As the old saying says, “you get what you think about whether you want it or not”.

I love L A.  I live in one of the most gorgeous neighborhoods.  The people in my communities are all pleasant and friendly and most of them are real and authentic.  The air I breath is fresh with the ions that make you want to take a deep breath…ocean air and the smell of pine and eucalyptus on my hikes.

It’s been 20 years and I am still the same me.  I look at the women who have tampered with their faces and I see that when I smile, some of my lines disappear–so I keep smiling. 

I do notice some of the stereotypical L A women and I feel for them.  They’ve done things to their faces that make them look quite ridiculous.  Perhaps those are the women who have helped create the stereotype.  Sure, I think we need to feel good about how we appear to the world and do whatever it takes to remedy our appearance.  For now, I am doing some spiritual surgery on the inside and continuing to focus on my inner beauty.  As Emerson said…”as we grow old,  the beauty steals inward”.Just know this…I LOVE L A!!!!

The Life You Envisioned?

Is your life everything you envisioned it to be?  This is a question someone asked me the other day.  My guess is he was looking at my life and wondering how I could possibly be happy.

I admit, I am a woman and I do think too much, but I was left feeling a little defensive and it made me really look at my life and wonder.  The answer was quite clear today as I rode my bike along the 25  mile stretch of bike path from Pacific Palisades to Palos Verdes.

I am living something I envisioned for many years.  Since the age of 10, I have wanted to live in Southern California.  I grew up in Michigan and did not entirely enjoy the weather or the lifestyle.  I never seemed to fit in.

The winter weather was harsh and the summers were way too short.  I spent most of my adult years hanging out in fruit markets or the couple of health food stores that existed then.   In the summertime, I tried to ride my bike as much as possible.  I rode to work and on my days off I rode along Edward Hines Drive…a long, lovely stretch of highway with parks all along.

The fact is, I love to play, move my body and be outside.  I have envisioned the life I’m living for many years and I AM living it now!

In college (while still in Michigan), there was a cafeteria that pumped music inside.  Everyday, I stopped into the DJ and requested my one and only song.  All he had to do is see my face to know it was time to play, “California Dreamin”.  I was 18 years old and the dream was strong.

Colleges and Universities kept me in Michigan.  If I wasn’t in college, it was a job or a boyfriend that seemed to tie me to that state.  I started to wonder if I would ever make it out of Michigan?

I began teaching Aerobic Fitness classes and at the end of every class I played some relaxation music and had my students (and myself) lie on their backs and visualize a place they wanted to be.  I had a couple of favorite songs I used for this segment of class but the best was “Summer” by War.  Interestingly, years later I identified one of the lyrics that I had never really heard clearly before… “from Atlantic City to out in Malibu or anywhere between I’m telling you when you feel those balmy breezes on your face, Summertime is the best time anyplace”.  I had heard the part about the balmy breezes, but  Malibu didn’t come clear to me until many years later.

When my husband and I sold everything we owned and drove someone’s car out (the day after we received our Masters Degree), the first place we lived was Malibu! The lyrics in the song brought me to Malibu…what are the chances of that?  We moved without having a car, a job, or a place to live.  We wound up in a most magical place that is still home to me.

We carved out a life for ourselves that went right along with what we envisioned.  We were active, working out in the gym and enjoying the nature abounding all around us…hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding.

We lived in Malibu  on a private horse ranch.  One of my biggest dreams as a girl was to learn to ride and spend loads of time with horses. That happened for me as well.  My landlord took me to riding clinics and taught me everything I could want to know about horses.  I bonded with a special horse and felt an intense amount of love and sensitivity.

Another long time dream–I met one of my bodybuilding heroes at the gym I work at.  For years, while still living in Michigan, I devoured every magazine article I could find about her–I adored her.  Then, one day, she was being introduced to me at The Malibu Gym–my workplace!

Today, I looked to my right and the waves were crashing, then I looked to my left and was awestruck by the snow capped mountains in the distance.  When I did visualize at the end of those aerobic classes,  I always saw myself living in a place with the ocean on one side and the mountains on the other.  I was vibrant and healthy and happy.

A good many years have passed–now 20.  Things have changed and my former husband and I have gone in different directions.  For the last 3 years, I live on my own–sort of.  This is probably why the question was asked from the man who asked.

Ron is a visitor of Will who lives in the guesthouse on the property that I have my office.  I live in the main house with a woman.  I have my own bedroom/bathroom and entrance.  My office, however, is out beyond the pool across from Will’s guesthouse.  Will’s visitor sees me “wandering about” as he calls it (he’s Australian).  My office beyond the pool is a 1 room building lodged up against the mountainside.  There isn’t a bathroom so I need to walk up the stairs to the main house if I need to use the bathroom.

I guess, to the onlooker, this doesn’t look all that glamorous and one would think that a woman my age would be established and living alone in a place where there were bathrooms to use without hiking all over the property.

I can only surmise that his interpretation of my life is that I am not happy with where things are.  Oh, I’m sure I could have more and be more and thrive more, but I embrace where I am. Almost all I envisioned came true for me.

In my eyes I have everything I need and there’s always something we could complain about.  And yes, I am envisioning new desires…I certainly haven’t stopped envisioning my life.  There are new orders I have placed with the Universe and until they arrive, I will be happy with my life NOW.

But, to answer the question, “is your life everything you envisioned it to be”?  Yes, indeed it is.  It is richer and warmer and more wonderful than I envisioned it.  So many dreams have come true…

The point is, my life is everything I envisioned and more.  Experiences, relationships, and places are the wonder all around me.  I live in bliss on a daily basis.  From your perspective or Ron’s perspective it may not look that great, but this is my life,  I am happy,  I am fulfilled and I am so glad I know that this is the life I have envisioned and the life I AM envisioning is coming into existence as I write!!!